


Fighting Back

by madlaw



Series: All Shoot All The Time [3]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Kink, Established Relationship, F/F, Food, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light BDSM, Oops Carter is dead, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Psychological Torture, Root is Alive, Root is jealous, Sex, They go to the movies & Coney Island, Torture, simulations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:32:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 58,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7915252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlaw/pseuds/madlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Part III of the All Shoot All The Time series.  </p><p>Root's sick of the Machine and Harold's refusal to prioritize finding Shaw and she's not taking it anymore. </p><p>Or Root and Shaw live.  Probably John too.  Bear for sure.  Harold rides off into the sunset. Who needs him anyway?</p><p>Thanks for all the feedback, I really appreciate it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 6,741

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root would never, under any circumstance, call Shaw "my beautiful girl."

The team saves the Machine and after a few glitches, not so minor, mostly downright dangerous, She starts giving them numbers again.  But it doesn’t take Root long to realize everything changes but yet stays the same.  Harold still doesn’t place finding Shaw at the top of his priorities.  The sum total of his effort to find and rescue her consists of setting an alert so the Machine lets them know if Shaw surfaces.  But that’s not nearly enough to satisfy Root and she isn’t going to stand by again and let Shaw become a footnote in their war.

 

* * *

 

Samaritan has made giant strides in using neural implants coupled with nanotechnology to manipulate the human mind.  But development of the technology has reached an impasse.  Only experimentation on human subjects will lead to further advancement.  Although Samaritan has already started this process, its value has been limited.  There is an inherent bias in an experiment where the answer is already known.  None of the subjects so far have possessed any information unknown to Samaritan. 

So as Martine prepares to put a bullet through Shaw’s brain, Samaritan stops her and orders Greer to save Shaw and assure her recovery.  Shaw possesses a wealth of information hidden from Samaritan, namely the location of the Machine and the team’s base of operations.  Shaw’s implanted with the device, but it quickly becomes apparent that even under a simulation Shaw’s mind protects the information Samaritan seeks.  In order to keep Shaw healthy enough to continue the simulations, she must have periods of rest or her mind will simply break, rendering her useless.

During these periods, Shaw regains awareness of her surroundings.  Although she doesn’t exactly remember the simulations, she pieces together enough information to understand Samaritan is experimenting on her brain.  In her brief moments of lucidity she understands she needs to focus on things Samaritan couldn’t possibly recreate to help her in separating reality from the simulations.  There’s only one thing in her life Samaritan can’t possibly know in any meaningful detail.  Her relationship with Root and who they are when they’re alone together.  Shaw realizes reliving these memories as often as possible will help her in two ways.  It will give her strength to keep fighting and a determination to keep from Samaritan all it wishes to know.

As Shaw endures hundreds of simulations without revealing any useful information, a certain pattern emerges.  In each and every simulation, she kills herself when faced with the possibility of hurting Root.  Even to Greer’s limited mind, the reason for her self-destruction is blatantly apparent.  There is something unique about Shaw’s relationship with Root.  Samaritan orders the replacement of Shaw’s implant numerous times and attempts to guide the simulations so Shaw is not put in the position to hurt Root, but rather to help her in the process of revealing the Machine’s location.

In its 6,741st simulation Samaritan and Greer believe they have programmed the perfect set of parameters to break through Shaw’s resistance.  Samaritan has consistently improved its chip based on the results of the simulations.  It also gives Shaw opportunities to escape only to repeatedly thwart her in an effort to break down her hope of being rescued or escaping.  It’s of no consequence to Samaritan that Shaw kills six of Lambert’s men in her attempts.

 

* * *

 

Shaw wakes to find Lambert trying to get a rise out of her.  No matter what he says, she remains impassive.  But when he shows her a picture of Root, then Harold, and then John, she looks at him.  “Did you come up with this game all by yourself, or did it tell you to bore me to death?”  Samaritan orders yet another chip implanted.

The next things Shaw knows, she’s sitting in a chair, unrestrained, in front of a mirror where they’re holding her captive.  She removes the bandage from behind her ear and touches the incision she finds there.  When she does, the lights in the room seem to dim and then brighten.  She cracks the mirror and manages to conceal a piece of glass before they sedate her.  She feigns unconsciousness and bides her time for an opportunity to escape. 

When they attempt to transport her to the operating room, she disables the attendant and shoots Lambert.  She uses Lambert as a shield and escapes the facility, stealing a boat to make it back to Manhattan.  Knowing she can’t go directly to her friends, since Samaritan is undoubtedly tracking her, she devises a plan to draw their attention to her.  But first she needs to get rid of the chip.  As she tries to remove it, lights flash before her eyes and memories bombard her brain.  She comes to with her hands covered in blood.

At that moment Shaw knows.  She’s in another simulation.  But what Samaritan and its lackeys don’t know is that while they’ve been learning about Shaw, she’s been learning about the simulations.  Sometimes she’s even able to bend them to her will and use them as a refuge from Samaritan.

She calls in a death threat from a store, knowing it will trigger Samaritan agents but also attract the team’s attention.  These simulations are nothing if not predictable.  As always, she’s saved from the Samaritan operatives and Root finds her.  The strobe light effect keeps recurring and Shaw’s hoping Greer hasn’t realized this is another failed simulation.  Shaw’s awareness always flits in and out during these episodes of the recurring drama Samaritan plays out in her mind.  But she keeps her mind focused as much as possible on Root.   The next scene is also always the same.  It’s some version of having the chip removed by the team. 

This time she wakes in an unfamiliar apartment, supposedly Root’s.  But Root doesn’t have an apartment; they do…and this is nowhere near close to being it.  Plus even Root would never make a pass when Shaw’s so vulnerable and hurt.  She’d be much more likely to hold her for hours on end, just breathing.  And their first time back together would not include a violent fuck fest, although they’ve had plenty of those.  But Shaw knows Root wouldn’t want to risk hurting her or triggering a bad memory from captivity.  And for fuck’s sake.  Root knows Shaw’s body probably better than she knows her own.  She wouldn’t think old scars were new ones and she would never, under any circumstances, call Shaw “her beautiful girl.”  Not to mention all that business about leaving her hanging like they’ve never had sex.  But Shaw goes with it.  Even fake sex with Root is better than the rest of the simulation she knows is coming.

Shaw can’t ever completely escape Samaritan’s program and she never knows exactly what’s coming next.  In this case, the strobe lights keep coming.  The team doesn’t trust her and she wants to prove herself by capturing and killing Greer.  Shaw’s tricked into finding a chip on him, supposedly a kill switch.  She kills Greer but Finch runs the chip and it triggers a beacon telling Samaritan where to locate the Machine.  More strobe lights.  She shoots John. 

Root finds her.  This is where the simulation always falls apart.  Instead of leading Shaw to the subway, Root wants her to lead.  But this is always the most dangerous part.  Shaw’s tried to program herself to die before she hurts Root or leads anyone to the Machine.  She doesn’t trust herself to know with absolute certainty what reality is and what it’s not.  So she’ll never take the risk.  She kills herself.

The simulation ends and in the brief moment she’s aware, Shaw knows they’re just going to keep throwing them at her.  But there are still so many details, not just those involving Root, that stop the simulations from being successful.  John is loyal to a fault, he would never default to thinking Shaw would betray them.  Acting strange after being tortured by Samaritan for nine months would not exactly be an unheard of circumstance.  If finding Greer were as easy as triangulating an operative’s phone signal, they would’ve done it months ago.  Finch would never run a usb drive from Greer on an open system.  At least not before spending weeks, if not months, considering the alternative and possible consequences.

Most importantly, in the brief moment Shaw’s awake and aware, she knows she survived one more simulation without betraying her friends.  But she knows she can’t keep fighting indefinitely.  Eventually, if only by a process of elimination, Samaritan will break her with a simulation so realistic she won’t be able to tell the difference.  In fact, it may already be too late.  Even if she escapes, how would she ever know?  Root is lost to her already.  She will never risk seeking her out on the off chance she’s still trapped in Samaritan’s hell.  But she knows she still needs to cling to Root.  It’s the only small way Shaw can still protect her.


	2. Virtual Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What's your plan, Harry? Zip-tie it to a chair and ask it questions?”

Harold still refuses to see Root as an equal in the war against Samaritan.  She arrives at the subway and sees there’s a padlock on the faraday cage and a computer sits inside.  “I like what you've done with the place.  Padlock's a nice touch.”  Harold’s response is obviously disingenuous.  “A necessary precaution.”  Even though she should expect it by now, Root is still caught off guard every time Harold treats her like a loose cannon not to be trusted.  “We copied that malware together, and now you're seriously locking me out?”   Harold attempts to deflect Root’s argument.  “More like locking Samaritan in.  I used code from that laptop to incubate a miniature clone of our enemy ASI.” 

“You put a baby Samaritan in a nursery.”  Harold clarifies.  “Just a kernel of its code trapped inside this Faraday cage.”  Root can’t help but mock him considering what an ass he’s being.  “What's your plan, Harry?  Zip-tie it to a chair and ask it questions?”  Harold gets defensive.  “No, I thought I'd leave that to the Machine.  I've begun incubating a similar kernel of our own ASI.  Soon I'll allow the two entities to engage one another in a series of controlled simulations with the Machine code probing the Samaritan code for weaknesses.”  Although annoyed, Root’s impressed.  “Like rival ASIs playing online chess.”

“The results of the simulations might indicate a strategy we could use against Samaritan in the real world.”  Root decides to set aside her frustration.  “When's show time?”  Harold stalls.  “I need an hour or so.”  Root’s intrigued.  “I'll go get the popcorn.”  But she should’ve known better.  Harold has no intention of allowing her any part in this exercise, even a passive one.  “Actually, Ms. Groves, this is more of a closed performance,” he tells her smugly.  “So you are locking me out.”  Harold rationalizes.  “Not just you.  Everyone.  If you want me to do whatever it takes, I'll have to do it on my own terms.”

Root gives him an “I’m not stupid look.”  There is no one to lock out except Root.  The only two other people in this fight, Reese and Fusco, don’t understand the first thing about the technology they’re using to fight Samaritan.  Hell, Fusco doesn’t even know there is a Machine, much less a Samaritan.  Root never ceases to be amazed at Harold’s hubris.  No matter how many times his decisions end up backfiring on the team, it never fazes him the next time around.  He still insists on doing things his way and without anyone else’s input.  Not even the Machine, much less Her analog interface.

But Harold can’t keep himself from bragging when he has the mini-Machine up and running.  “All right, Ms. Groves.  The miniature machine clone is on this laptop.”  Root tries to needle him with sarcasm but Harold’s oblivious.  “You know, for a man with such serious concerns about the proliferation of artificial super intelligence, you sure do love to build new ones.”   He closes and locks the faraday cage in Root’s face.  She just smirks at him.  “I can connect this Machine laptop to the Samaritan laptop via this central computer, which will function as a forum for their virtual engagement.”  Root continues her gentle mocking.  “Or a Roman Coliseum for an unlimited series of virtual battles.”

“If Samaritan has a fatal flaw, we'll know it soon enough.”  As annoying as Harold can be, Root knows his idea will give them a chance of uncovering Samaritan’s weakness without actually risking the Machine.  “This is what She wanted, Harold.  Let the games begin.”  The simulations begin to run and Samaritan begins kicking the Machine’s ass.  Root hangs around the subway, agreeing to help Finch with an irrelevant number, but really she just wants to know how things are going with the simulations.  “Okay, Harry.  Let's hack these hackers.  How goes the ASI death match?”  Harold tries to dissemble.  “Too soon to tell, I'm afraid.”  Root’s tired of his bullshit and calls him on it. “Is it? Even her replica is overmatched.  Have you considered recoding Her with a more defensive stance?” 

Harold barely acknowledges Root’s statement and doesn’t bother to look at her.  “You mean arm the Machine.”  Root can’t help getting upset at his dismissive attitude.  “More like equip Her with the tools She needs to better protect Herself.”  Harold lectures Root like she’s a naïve child instead of a warrior for the freedom of humanity.  “Self-preservation is a very close cousin to aggression.”  The tone is not lost on Root.  “A child, your child, needs to learn to push back on the playground.” 

“That's not an instinct we should hope to nurture in any artificial super intelligence.  Not even one that we call our own.”  Although she knows it’s hopeless, Root continues to argue with him.  “She's our only ally in this war.  You need to learn to trust Her.”  Harold pretends to agree.  “But I do, Ms. Groves.  The Machine is infinitely smarter than either of us.  If anyone here needs to recode the Machine, it should be the Machine.”  Root can’t believe she heard him correctly.  Root’s not sure the Machine can reprogram itself.  Harold kept her shackled for so long; self-defense doesn’t appear to be a viable part of her programming.   

She continues helping with the irrelevant number.  During her investigations she encounters Jeff Blackwell, a previous number they ignored because he seemed innocuous and the Machine was glitching at the time.  Now he’s working for Samaritan.  Root lets him escape, knowing he’s just a cog in Samaritan’s wheel, although she did try to explain about his employer.  But Root has a feeling they haven’t seen the last of Blackwell.

Although Harold won’t be honest with Root, he tells John the truth about the scenarios between the mini machines.  Over 10 billion have run so far and the Machine has lost every one.


	3. The Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Gummy bears, twizzlers, milk duds, and a bottle of water please.”

Greer is getting desperate.  In over 7,053 simulations, Shaw has not broken and continues to kill herself rather than betray the team.   In his desperation, Greer thinks portraying the team as villains will convince Shaw where the simulations haven’t.

“Aren't you tired, my dear Sameen?”  Although Shaw is clearly exhausted there’s also another look on her face.  Pride.  She will continue to fight until she escapes or Root finds her.  “Why would I be?   That's what, 7,053 times you've tried to get me to murder my friends?”  Greer can’t hide the annoyance in his voice.  “I meant tired of turning the gun on yourself.”  But if Shaw hasn’t broken under the simulations, Greer’s fucked up argument isn’t going to weaken her determination.   “I've done worse.” 

So Greer decides to try a different tactic.  “You're a smart girl.  The simulation is not convincing you.  Perhaps a little field trip will be just the ticket.”  Shaw doesn’t really care but every minute Greer talks is a minute she’s not in a simulation so she keeps the conversation going.  “To what?”  Thinking he’s the cat’s meow, Greer tells her.  “To showing you the people you refuse to betray are not the heroes.  They're the villains.”

Greer takes Shaw on a field trip of sorts trying to convince her eliminating bad people is a good thing if it saves the lives of innocents.  Of course, Samaritan’s way does not allow room for trials or evidence or due process.  Shaw remains unconvinced and realizes the field trip was just another simulation. 

Every time she emerges from a simulation she thinks about Root to ground herself and remember why she can’t give up.

 

* * *

 

“Sam, have you ever been to a movie?”  Shaw has to think because if she has, it’s certainly been a long ass time.  “My father took me a few times when I was a kid.  Why?”  Root’s not sure she can open herself up enough to tell Shaw why she’s asking, but then pushes through it.  “I’ve never been to a movie.”  Shaw hears the plaintive tone in Root’s voice and really Shaw would pretty much do anything for Root, especially to stop her from hurting.

“I take it you’d like to go to the movies?”  Root sighs.   “No, I just was wondering.”  But Shaw knows Root’s not being a 100% honest.  So she looks up what movies are playing where because really she has no clue.  She finds a movie they might both enjoy.  “Come on Root.”  But Root doesn’t want Shaw’s pity.  “Seriously Sam I was just curious.”  Shaw knows Root wants to give in but is too proud to say so.  “Well, now that you put the idea in my head, I want to go.  There’s a movie theatre close by that’s playing The Equalizer.  I’m going.  Are you coming?”

Root hesitates for a minute not wanting to seem eager, but she can’t hide the smile on her face as she puts on her jacket.  Shaw buys the tickets grumbling about how ridiculous the prices have gotten, but when she sees the look on Root’s face she has to admit it’s worth it.  When they walk in, Shaw leads them over to the concession stand.  “Okay Root, what do you want?”  Root’s looking around like a kid in a candy store, which is actually not far from the truth about concession stands.  “I can’t make up my mind Sam.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and starts to place her order, “Large coke, small popcorn, and Nestle Crunch.”  While the employee starts to gather her order, Shaw turns to Root.  “If you haven’t decided by the time I’m ready to pay, you’re getting nothing.  So make up your mind already.” 

When her order is ready Shaw turns to pay.  Before she hands over the money Root blurts out her choices.  “Gummy bears, twizzlers, milk duds, and a bottle of water please.”  Shaw looks at her like she’s lost her mind.  “When you’re bouncing off the walls later from all that sugar don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  Root smiles shyly.  “Well I’ve never had any of those things so I want to try them. “  Shaw just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.  Picking seats proves to be another dilemma.  Shaw wants to sit in the back on an aisle in case there’s trouble but Root wants to sit smack dab in the middle.  They compromise and sit on an aisle but closer to the middle.  

There are plenty of empty seats, but as the previews start a guy sits right in front of Shaw.  “Hey buddy, why don’t you pick another seat?”  He turns to look at her incredulously.  “Because I like this one.”  Shaw starts to growl and Root tries to smooth over the situation.  “I’m sorry, my friend didn’t mean to be rude, but she’s pretty short and you’re tall, so she won’t be able to see.”  Root’s sure steam starts to rise from Shaw’s head as her anger boils at Root’s words.  Root squeezes her hand and Shaw squeezes back with enough force to break Root’s fingers.  Root gives the guy a seductive smile and tells him, “I’ll be happy to make it up to you later.”  He rakes his eyes up and down Root’s body and leers.  “In that case, sure.  I’ll see you in the lobby after the movie and get your number.”

Root smiles and settles back into her seat while Shaw fumes.  “I can’t believe you just did that.  I am not short!  Just because you’re abnormally tall doesn’t make me short,” she hisses.  Root gives Shaw a knowing smile.  “Sam, you’re the perfect size for me.”  Shaw glares at her.  “Besides, creating a scene even in here with no cameras is not a good idea.”  Shaw refuses to look at her, but in the middle of the second preview she asks Root to get her a refill on her coke.”  Root hesitates, but then takes her cup and walks out.

Shaw gets up and walks down her row and stops behind the guy, crouching down so she’s level with his ear.  He turns to look at her.  “Hey shorty, what now?”  A sinister smile appears on Shaw’s face.  “She’s _mine_ so you won’t be getting that number.  Oh and I’m sorry.”  The man just glares at her. “Sorry for what?”  Shaw puts her arm around the guys shoulder.  “That you’ll be missing the movie.”  Before he can even think, Shaw grabs him in a choke hold until he loses consciousness.  She looks around to see if anyone’s noticed but everyone’s riveted to the screen watching the previews.  She walks back to her seat with a self-satisfied smile on her face.


	4. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Four A. Four Alarm Fire.~

Root continues to push Harold and the Machine to find Shaw. 

“I'll handle this mission.  Will you just answer me about Shaw? I just want to know if Shaw is still...No.  Rerouting radio signals into my cochlear implant is not an answer.  I know it's dangerous with ‘you know who' listening, but what's the point of having an open artificial intelligence at your disposal if She's too afraid to talk to you directly?  Harold and I got you back up and running.  Now let's get back on track.  We need to be actively looking for Shaw's exact location.”

Root is getting nowhere, but she’s determined to keep trying.  “Listen, I've waited long enough.  No more roundabout instructions.  Quit being a wimp and talk to me.  We can't stay on our heels forever.  Shaw is out there somewhere.”  The Machine continues to find the risk of direct communication unacceptable.  Root decides it’s time for drastic action.

“You want me to get the EMF meter in the backpack? Am I going ghost hunting? Or am I going Shaw hunting?  I refuse to do one more mission until I know that what I'm doing is going to lead me to Sameen.”  She waits as the risk of detection by Samaritan grows.  The Machine sends a text to a phone nearby.  “WKCP.  UFO.  Find her.  Run.”

Root makes her way to WKCP, where she’s expected as the new producer for a show called Mysterious Transmissions.  At the detention facility, Shaw is reaching the end of her emotional tether.  She’s afraid she’ll break soon and she can’t let that happen.

Root’s not sure what her current assignment has to do with finding Shaw so she reaches out to John.  “Hey, big lug.  Mind flashing your badge and getting some info for me? - _What are you doing?_ \- Searching for Shaw.  The Machine put me on a mission that may lead to her.  - _What can I do_?-  I need help looking into someone named Warren Franco.  - _Who's that?_ -  Some nut who keeps calling this radio show, Mysterious Transmissions on AM 520.  You and Harold would like it.  The host is more paranoid than we are.  - _Are you working a number?_ -  Can't a girl ask her cop friend to look up a creepy guy without getting the third degree? I just want to know if this guy has anything to do with finding Sameen.  - _Okay.  Be careful, Root_.-  Thanks, John.”

Meanwhile, Shaw attempts to escape again.  She knocks out her attendant, but is intercepted by Lambert.  “Left her alive? A bit worn down, are we?”  Shaw struggles to her feet.  “Just bored.  You people need to get more creative with these simulations.”  Lambert gives her a knowing smile.  “I agree.  Shall we take another field trip?”  Shaw’s not defeated quite yet however.  “Oh, but it's so much fun getting you shot a thousand different ways.”  Lambert ignores the comment.  “Bandage Ms. Shaw's hands.  Wouldn't want her getting the car bloody.”

John reaches out to Finch for information on Franco.  When he asks if Root’s working a number, John deflects and doesn’t say anything about the connection to Shaw.  John promised himself he would help Root in whatever way he could and he didn’t have time to argue with Finch about it.  Although keeping things from Finch made him uncomfortable, finding Shaw had to come first. 

Root plies the show’s host, Max, for information on Franco and he tells her about the patterns he’s discovered in the radio signals.  Franco calls in to the station again talking about killing himself.  Simultaneously John arrives at Franco’s apartment and finds he’s been dead for hours.  Root and John figure out the call is being spoofed and Root tells John about the code in the radio transmissions.  They conclude Samaritan’s behind it all and Max is the next target; Samaritan doesn’t want anyone to know about the code.  John decides to head over to the station to help Root even though she tells him not to come.

Shaw’s convinced she’s in another simulation with Lambert this time.  “Is Greer too busy to monologue today?  Is that why he sent his mini-me to take me on a pretend field trip?”  Lambert’s learned not to let Shaw bait him.  “Only Samaritan can save the human race from itself.  By eliminating key people, we can affect change that will save countless lives.”  Shaw’s heard it all before.  “Butterfly flaps its wings, hurricane in China, blah, blah, blah.  Can we just get the simulation over with?”

The next thing Root hears is a spoof of Max’s voice claiming he’s going to kill himself.  She knows that can only mean one thing: Samaritan is on the way.  It locks Root and Max into the broadcast room but Root gets them out and attempts to lead him out of the building.

Shaw is on her field trip with Lambert.  “How's your hand, Sameen?”  Shaw wishes she could tune out his annoying voice.  “Just get on with it.”  Lambert explains as they arrive at a laboratory with a woman working inside.  “Have you ever heard of the thylacine? It's an extinct animal species, an ecological tragedy.  On the other side of this door is a woman who is working to bring the thylacine back to life.  Her name is Dr. Ayumi Kagawa...Samaritan has the foresight we, as humans, do not, and it has seen the dominos fall.  The shifting ecosystem would affect agriculture, the food supply, the spread of disease, and thousands of people will die.  A butterfly flaps its wings.”  Shaw’s not even listening.  “Are you done yet?”  But evidently Lambert is not done. “Samaritan has attempted to sidetrack her work many times, but she is as tenacious as she is brilliant, which leaves us with one option.  If Kagawa is eliminated…” Shaw opens the door and shoots her.  “Point made.  Can I wake up now?”

“Ms. Groves.”  Root rushes down a stairwell while she takes Harold’s call.  “How's it going, Harry?” Root asks a little breathless.  “Having a little trouble with the laptop.  I caught it doing something new.  It's attempting to send out electromagnetic pulses, trying to connect with the whole network of Samaritan-infected devices around the world: laptops, printers, phones.”  Root knows exactly what it means.  “It's a modified version of the Funtenna hack.  That's what Samaritan's using.  That's what Max found… electromagnetic pulses cause buzzing in the AM radio signal.  Buzzing that most people would write off as harmless interference, but a trained Samaritan operative…”  Harold finally understands.  “Would recognize it as hidden code.”  Root’s synapses are firing with the possibilities.  “Using older technology like radio would allow Samaritan operatives to hide in plain sight, receive secret messages in the field, or send them to operation centers.  I know why the Machine sent me here.”  Root stashes Max in a closet and heads back upstairs.

The minute Harold realizes what Root is going to do, he tries to stop her.  “Ms. Groves, I know what you're thinking, but it's far too dangerous.”  But Shaw’s alive and nothing is going to stop Root from trying to reach her even if it’s only with a message.  “Harold, this radio station can communicate with any Samaritan facility.  The Machine wants me to send a message to Shaw.”   Harold asks the Machine whether Samaritan has identified Root and if Max is in danger.  The Machine tells him no and that Root has mitigated the risk.  Although Harold finds that less than helpful, he sends John to help Root.  John didn’t need Harold to tell him, he was already on his way.

“Give me a break, Doc.  We're doing another simulation already?” Shaw wants to know.  But the doctor tells her there’s “No need.  Did you enjoy your field trip? First real time out of the facility since you got here.”  Shaw’s confused.  “Real time? What are you talking about?”  The doctor turns on a news report.

_Prominent genetic researcher Dr. Ayumi Kagawa was gunned down in her lab last night in what police are calling a random act of senseless violence.  Her lab was ransacked, destroying…_

Shaw’s horrified.  “No.  You're full of it.  That was a simulation.  This is another trick.  That… that or we're still in the simulation now.”  The doctor ignores her.  “How's your hand?”  But Shaw won’t believe she gunned someone down in cold blood.  “No, no, no.  No, this isn't real.  No.  No! No!”  She groans.  “It sounds like you don't know what's real anymore,” the doctor points out.  As she’s sedated Shaw knows one thing is true.  She can no longer distinguish reality from a simulation.

As operatives close in, the Machine contacts Root.  But she’s just found a Samaritan infected printer and she’s not leaving before she sends a message to Shaw.  Fortuitously, John arrives and rescues Max. 

Shaw’s reached the end of the line.  The risk she’ll reveal something to Samaritan inadvertently has gotten too great.  She needs to do something now, before it’s too late.  “That should really kick in.  Couple more minutes now.”  Shaw has to act before the sedative knocks her out.  She whispers inaudibly.  The doctor leans in close and Shaw lunges from the bed and grabs her by the throat.  She grabs the syringe from the doctor’s pocket.  “You try anything, I'm gonna stick this through your eye all the way into your brain.”  Although scared the doctor remains calm.  “You know as well as I do there's no way to escape.  There are cameras everywhere.  Guards outside this door.  The only way that you get out of this facility is in a body bag.”  That’s what Shaw’s counting on.  “Oh, I know, but I'd rather be dead than be your guinea pig for one more day.”

Shaw uses the doctor’s key card to get out of the room, leaving the doctor locked inside.  But she doesn’t run.  She sits outside the door, the syringe grasped tightly in her hand, pointed at her eye.  Shaw willingly gave her life for Root at the stock exchange.  Dying was the only way to save her and the team.  She’s been holding out hope they might be reunited and she might survive after all. But time’s run out.  She’s no less willing to die now. 

She thinks about Root.  Root literally bugged her into loving her.  Then irony of ironies, Shaw was actually the one to say it out loud first.  Well in her own roundabout way.

_“I looked up love in the dictionary.  Used as a noun love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection, as a verb as a deep romantic or sexual attachment.  By either, what I’m feeling is love; well maybe not the romantic part, but you get what I mean.”  Shaw remembers the look of utter confusion on Root’s face.    But she was brave enough to ask.  “Sam, are you saying you love me?”  It was the hardest word Shaw had ever said.  “Yes.”_

At least she knows Root won’t be left wondering.  They had dangerous times, fun times, and just plain sad times.  Shaw wouldn’t change a single thing, because it all led to Root.  Well she’d change dying now if she could, but not at the expense of Root’s life.

Although she doesn’t know it, as Shaw’s getting ready to kill herself, Root’s sending her a message.  Root prays to a god she doesn’t believe in.  “Shaw, please get this.”  As she prepares herself to die, Shaw realizes the static from the intercom is actually Morse code.  She focuses on the message and deciphers it.  ~Four A.  Four Alarm Fire.~  Shaw sighs her name like a prayer, “Root.”   It lights a fire inside her.  Root’s still fighting to get to her.  Shaw owes her the same.  She smiles for the first time in nine months, dropping the syringe and opening the door, allowing Samaritan operatives to capture her.  She passively let’s them lead her back to her prison.

Samaritan operatives catch up with Root.  “Put your hands up and turn around.”  Root stands up.  “I'll give up without a fight if you promise to leave Max alone and take me to the facility where Sameen Shaw is being held.”  The operative’s confused.  “Who?”  But Root wasn’t talking to him.  Samaritan answers through the station’s speakers.  “I cannot see you, but I recognize your behavior.  You are an acolyte of the Machine.”  Root’s glad they’re on the same page.  “You heard my terms.  Do we have a deal?”  Samaritan begins to agree.  “If you are willing to surrender, I will take you to the facility where Sameen Shaw is being…”  But the power goes out and John appears.  Root’s devastated and lunges at John.  “I almost had her, John!”  But it’s too late.  Root follows John out of the building.

John knew Root would do anything to get Shaw back, but even he thinks Root went too far.  “Now explain to me what the hell were you thinking offering yourself up to those guys?”  Root would do it all over again if she could.  “It was my best shot at finding Shaw.”  But John’s not willing to sacrifice Root for Shaw, especially when there’s no guarantee either one of them would survive.  “You keep going off half-cocked like that, you're gonna get yourself killed.”  But Root doesn’t care.  “I'm not Lionel.  I don't need you to protect me.  I got a message to her.”  John’s shocked.  “How do you know?”  Root tells him.  “The Machine helped me do it.  I know.”

Root explains to Max he needs to forget about the code and he promises to keep it a secret.  But he changes his mind and Samaritan has him killed to silence him.  Finch’s is outraged and asks the Machine if She knew Max would die.  The Machine informs Harold the primary objective, getting a message to Shaw, was accomplished.  Finch doesn’t think that’s good enough, but Root disagrees.  “She's not acting strangely.  She's doing exactly what She's programmed to do… The Machine can tell us where to go, who's in trouble, but we still have free will.  Max chose to risk his life.  She can't stop him from doing that, and now Shaw knows that we haven't given up on her.  I wish we could've saved Max, but if we were able to give Shaw some kind of hope, maybe it was worth it.” 

The truth is as far as Root’s concerned there’s no maybe about it.  She would do it all over again even knowing Max would die.  But Harold still insists on his self-righteous bullshit.  “A lie by omission is still a lie.  And using the idea of free will as an excuse for moral attrition?  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with where this is going.”  John walks out.  He’s not comfortable disagreeing with Finch, but the truth is he agrees with Root.  People cannot be saved from themselves.  That’s exactly the point of defeating Samaritan.  Human beings should be able to dictate their own fate even if they fail to see or choose what’s best for them.

Back in her room Shaw smiles and begins to plan her next escape attempt.  Everything she’s been through, everything that comes next, she’ll handle.  She will get back to Root.  No matter what it takes.  Root feels the same.  She lets the Machine know she’s grateful for Her assistance.  “Thank you for helping me send that message.  I know you're trying to do the right thing, even if Harold doesn't see it yet.”


	5. Escaping Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It's not like I'm gonna spill a glass of water on the nightstand, stomp on your foot, throw an elbow to your chin, and stick you with that sedative.”

Root’s message sparks in Shaw a burning desire to escape come hell or high water.  She determines to use everything she’s learned during her months in captivity to devise a realistic escape plan; and this time it will either succeed or she’ll die knowing she gave everything she has to get her life back.  But this time she won’t just seize a random moment of opportunity.

Her plan starts with small steps.  She tears a strip of wire from the lamp next to her hospital bed and strips the ends.  On one of her trips to the OR she creates a disturbance, knocking out her guards, and leaving her alone in the hallway until more guards can reach her.  She takes the fire axe and hides it under her bed without detection.  It takes her weeks but she uses the axe to break through the bathroom tiles allowing her access to the network of spaces housing the pipes necessary to run water, electric, and phone lines throughout the building. 

Even more importantly, Shaw needs to regain as much of her strength as possible, so she starts actually eating all her food and requesting more.  She’s less combative so she receives less sedation allowing her to not only have more restful sleep, but also leaving her alert enough to start exercising in her room for short periods.  Greer knows she’s up to something but is absolutely certain no escape is possible.

A nurse comes in to sedate Shaw before yet another simulation.  Shaw looks at her and slowly sits up on the bed, dangling her feet over the side.  “Don't worry.  No fast ones today.”  But the nurse has been on the receiving end of more than one of Shaw’s escape attempts.  “You say that every time.”  Shaw keeps her voice level but she can’t resist goading the nurse one more time, knowing one way or another this will be her last day in hell. 

“It's not like I'm gonna spill a glass of water on the nightstand, stomp on your foot, throw an elbow to your chin, and stick you with that sedative.”  The nurse isn’t sure whether to take Shaw seriously but she glances down and, indeed, there is a water glass on the nightstand.  Before she can react, Shaw does exactly what she said she wouldn’t do.  But she forgets about the water.  “Oops.  I think I skipped a step.”  She knocks the glass of water over.  The minute she knocks the nurse out an alarm begins to screech.

Shaw takes a chair and smashes the camera overhead so Samaritan and its goons can’t see what happens next.  She takes the stripped wire and shorts the electronic door lock.  The delay caused by the shorted lock and the missing axe buy her a precious extra minute.  By the time Lambert shoots his way into her room, she’s disappeared.  Lambert looks around spotting the stripped wire from the lamp.  He walks into the bathroom and notices dirt on the floor under the sink.  Kicking the sink off the wall, he finds Shaw’s path to freedom.

Meanwhile Root appears at the subway to check on the battle of the mini machines.  When she learns the Machine has yet to win one battle she turns to Harold.  “Perhaps we should try altering one of the variables, for the sake of humanity or even just us.”  As usual, Finch dismisses Root out of hand.  “I'll take that under advisement.  Thank you, Ms. Groves.”  But Root’s not so easily defeated.  “Sooner or later every ecosystem changes.  It just requires the correct precursor.”

As the search begins for Shaw, she uses the axe and breaks out of the wall into a cell where she finds three men fighting.  “Hey fellas.  You mind telling me where the hell I am?”  Shaw’s in Jo'burg, South Africa.  Johannesburg.  She’s forced to knock out two of the men when they try to attack her.  She looks at the third guy.  “You really should ask for better bunk mates.”  The man slowly gets up from the floor where the other two were beating him.  “This place is like some twisted social experiment in violence.”  The guy has no idea.  “Yeah, being a guinea pig sucks.  Enough small talk; where's the exit?”  She looks out through a slot on the door of the cell.  Her new friend explains.  “There's only one way in or out, and they only open for meals or discipline.”  So Shaw begins to plan her second escape in one day.  “I never was big on prison grub.”

She picks the lock on the cell; luckily the obviously fake prison doesn’t take security too seriously.  Her new friend, Samuel, distracts the guards while she sneaks up from behind, knocking them out and ensuring their escape.  But she leaves alone with a guard’s gun.   Samuel has friends he won’t leave behind and Shaw can certainly respect that, but she has her own friends and she needs to get home.

Although she eludes capture within the prison, Lambert finds her.  “Hold it.  I can't quite grasp why you even bother, knowing this is just another simulation.”  But this time, Shaw knows it’s real.  “Well, this axe I lifted last month when I took out two of your orderlies, it feels pretty real to me.”  But since it is real, Lambert’s gun can fire real bullets and she can end up really dead, so she indulges him.  “You must be exhausted, this never-ending desire to escape, even from a prison made entirely of pixels.”  Shaw smiles at him.  “Well, if this is just another simulation, then prove it.  Shoot yourself in the head.”  Lambert’s answer reinforces Shaw’s belief she’s not in a simulation.  “Why? Just to make the programmers reboot?”

“Why would Greer build a Stanford Prison Experiment inside my head, in South Africa no less?  Is this just another one of your lame arguments to convince me that Samaritan is the good ASI?”  Lambert slowly approaches her.  “This isn't Greer's idea at all.  The simulations are built on your memories.  Don't you recall your mission to South Africa?  You killed a Somali bomb maker in this very prison.  Sneaked into the same cell via the same route, through the wall.”  But Shaw doesn’t believe it.  She reaches behind her ear and strokes the incision she finds there, but no lights flash.  “That's not true.  I was never in South Africa.  I was in Germany.  And a lot of other countries, but you're lying.  I was never in South Africa.” 

“After 7,000 simulations, it's only logical that some of your old memories have been replaced by new ones.  Now the two coexist side by side.  For example, I'm sure you can recall killing your friend John Reese.  Just as I'm sure you can remember murdering an innocent scientist.”  Shaw falters.  “I had no way of knowing that wasn't a simulation.”  So Lambert persists.  “Reality denied comes back to haunt.  You're not sure of anything anymore, are you?”  Shaw drops the axe.  “Everything will be fine.  Any second now, the technicians will come in and remove your VR head set, and you'll wake up.”  Lambert lowers his gun.

“You're right.  This is all just a dream.”  Shaw shoots him with the guard’s gun, which was hidden behind her back.  “But I just really had to get that out of my system.  Oh, quit with all the drama.  Any second now, Greer will reboot, and you will be just fine.  But until then, why not a little joy ride?”  Shaw steals his keys.  Truth is she’s not completely sure, but she’s going to keep going until she’s back in New York or wakes from another simulation.  She disarms a guard and steals a uniform, making it out of the prison and stealing a jeep. 


	6. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don't know if I'm calling the shots anymore and neither do you. 7,000 simulations. I killed a lot of people, but the one person that I couldn't kill was you. So I killed myself. Over and over again.” Shaw raises the gun to her temple. “And I'd rather do that here and now than to risk your life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shaw's back. The next chapter will show how Root and Shaw spent her first night back. So hang in there!

It takes a week but Shaw makes it back to New York.  She knows she should’ve gone somewhere else.  She’s still not sure this is all not just another simulation, but she can’t stay away, the pull magnetic.  Even if she can’t touch her or talk to her, she needs to see Root.  It’s all she’s thought about for the better part of a year and, if she’s really free, then Root’s the only reason she survived.  Shaw’s sure she knows where to find her, their apartment. If Root’s not on a mission, Shaw knows that’s where she’ll be although she won’t be surprised to find her awake even though it’s 3am.

But Shaw doesn’t want to lead Samaritan to their apartment in case this is still a simulation, so she stakes out their favorite all night dinner.  She knows Root will eventually find her way here.  They used to eat here all the time, sometimes for breakfast or in the middle of the night after a mission.  If they had a “place” this diner was it. 

Root’s lying awake staring at the ceiling.  It’s only 3am but she knows sleep will continue to elude her.  Over the last nine months, she’s rarely slept through the night unless she’s been on a particularly grueling mission.  Every night she dreams of the stock exchange; she sees Shaw lying in a pool of blood and hears her own screams, waking up in a cold sweat with her heart beating out of her chest.  Other times she lies in their bed and thinks about the smell of Shaw’s skin, her taste, the feel of her body.  She touches herself and pretends its Shaw, but the minute she comes, reality crashes back into her awareness and she loses Shaw all over again.  

During the day, she drags herself on whatever mission the Machine gives her, but she’s always thinking about Shaw.  At night she goes to their apartment although she no longer thinks of it as home.  Not without Shaw.  But their apartment’s the place where Root feels closest to her.  It’s the one place where they were truly themselves and her most precious memories were all created here.  Sighing, she gets out of bed and looks out the window leaning her forehead against the glass.

Root knows if Shaw were here she’d be reminding her to eat and harassing her about how much coffee she’s drinking like a zealot.  She laughs but it turns into a half-strangled sob.  Ever since she sent her the message Root’s been obsessed with finding Shaw, like the fabled fox staring with pathetic longing at the unattainable grapes, craving the impossible.  What if Shaw didn’t get it?  Root knows she’s alive.  If Shaw were dead she would know.  But how much longer can Shaw hold on?  Root has no doubt Samaritan implanted its neural device in Shaw’s brain and she tortures herself with the myriad ways it can be used to torment its host.  She turns from the window and gets dressed, deciding to go for a walk and grab something to eat at the diner.

The night air is crisp and refreshing like the juicy apples Root loves.  As she reaches the diner she grabs the door handle but pauses.  Something’s different.  She looks around but doesn’t see anything suspicious.  Somehow she feels Shaw’s presence, but knows it’s not possible.   She walks into the diner, deciding it’s the memories of Shaw the diner evokes.  Root remembers the day Shaw intimidated a customer with her gun so they'd get her favorite table. 

_Once inside, Shaw scowls when she finds her favorite booth occupied; the one that allows her to sit with her back to the wall, watching the door.  Seeing the look on Shaw’s face, Root gently places her hand on her arm.  “Let me try.  If you beat that guy up you’ll attract unwanted attention.”  Her scowl deepens but Shaw says nothing and stays put._

_After a minute she walks deliberately to the table.  Looking over Root’s shoulder, she lets her blank gaze drift from the man’s face to where he currently has his hand on Root’s back.  Casually letting her jacket drift open, Shaw allows him a glimpse of the gun in her waistband.  Abruptly telling Root “sure, no problem,” he throws money on the table and practically runs out the door.  Sitting down, Root looks at the man’s retreating back. “I was going to buy his breakfast.”  Without blinking, Shaw deadpans, “Maybe he remembered an urgent appointment.”  Watching Shaw with amusement, Root laughs, “Oh sweetie, you really think I don’t know you threatened him with your gun?”  Fighting a smile, Shaw lifts the menu to her face._

_As they wait for their breakfast, Shaw stands up and asks Root to come sit on the side of the booth where Shaw was just sitting.  When Root sits, Shaw slides in next her.  Speechless, Root says nothing, but lets a casual smile show.  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “You were blocking my view of the door.”_

 

* * *

 

Root smiles then sighs, picking up the menu.

From across the street, Shaw holds her breath until Root walks inside.  Nothing prepared her for seeing Root again for the first time.  Her memories and even the thousands of simulations never captured everything…Root.  The gait of her walk, the nervous habit of biting her lower lip, the way she scrunches into herself when she’s cold, and a hundred other details that come crashing over Shaw like waves.  She takes an involuntary step forward, but stops herself.  She knows she’ll have to find a way to let Root know she’s okay and she should stop looking for her.  If only so Root stops risking her life like nothing else matters.  She’s just not sure how she’s going to do that yet.  Root stares out the diner’s window as Shaw keeps watch. 

Now that she’s found her, Shaw can’t pull herself away, drinking in the sight of Root like she’s the last glass of water she’ll ever have.  The next morning she follows Root to Chinatown although she stops a few blocks away when she realizes Root’s headed to the subway.  Root's more distracted than usual, thoughts of Shaw ravaging her mind.  She can't help but look for Shaw every time she enters the subway.  Root made it clear no one was to move Shaw's weights or her weapons and no one dared defy her.  She still expects to see Shaw working out or cleaning her guns.

Shaw waits all day and in the early evening Root leaves the subway.  Shaw tracks her to a rooftop where she’s set up a sniper’s nest.  There are Samaritan operatives all over the building across the street.  Once Root fires, she’ll give away her position.  Shaw moves in closer and takes out two of the operatives before Root can pull the trigger.  Root wonders who took the shots and sees someone fleeing the scene; she gives chase and ends up in a park.  Shaw has no idea Root took off after her.  She shoots the operative she was chasing, but Root spots her and they fight.  Shaw thinks Root is another Samaritan operative, but as soon as she feels Root’s body under hers, she knows.  “Root.”

“Shaw.”  Root can’t believe her eyes.  Her breathing increases with the first touch.  She holds Shaw’s head between her hands and surges up.  Shaw helps her up and can’t let go.  Root whispers her name like she’s ephemeral and might disappear at any moment.  “Sameen.  You’re really here.”  She draws Shaw into a crushing hug, intending to never let go.  “She brought you back to me.”  Shaw breathes in the scent of Root like it’s the last breath she’ll ever take.  But she knows it’s still too dangerous.  She pulls back although she can’t help keeping her hands on Root. 

After the initial shock Root’s a bit puzzled.  “What are you doing here?”  But what she really wants to know is why Shaw didn’t come find her the minute she escaped.  “What’s it look like?  Taking out Samaritan one agent at a time.”  Root gives a small laugh.  Shaw is still Shaw.  But Shaw pulls away reluctantly, regret on her face.  “I gotta go.”  But Root’s not about to let her out of her sight.  She puts away her gun and turns to follow her.  “Wait.  Go where? Wait.  When did you escape?”  Shaw doesn’t want to turn and look at her because she knows she won’t be able to leave Root if she does.  “It's complicated, Root.”

But she should’ve known Root wouldn’t let it go.  Wouldn’t let her go.  Root grabs her and yanks her around to face her.  “Then explain it to me.  Please.”  Shaw still won’t look at her, but she can’t refuse Root’s plea, so she matter-of-factly clarifies.  “I escaped a week ago.  I couldn't come and find you because it wasn't safe.”  Root’s trying to understand.  “Why?”  Shaw refuses to meet her gaze.  “When they had me, they put me through these tests, these simulations.”  Root’s not sure she understands.  “Simulations?”  Shaw finally looks up but she’s not really looking at Root.  Her gaze is fixed somewhere over Root’s shoulder and she sounds lost.  “Over 7,000 of them, and always with the same goal.  To turn me against all of you.  To kill you.”  Root doesn’t care what Shaw had to do to survive, but she knows she needs to reassure her.  She runs her hand down Shaw’s face.  “Well obviously they failed.”  Shaw turns away and swallows hard.  “No.  They didn't, because in all the simulations, that's exactly what I did.”

Root can’t let go, still caressing her.  Shaw finally looks her in the eye.  “Sameen, please, you have to believe me.  This isn't a simulation.  This is real.  You're safe now.  Let's get back to the subway.”  Root pulls Shaw’s hands to her, willing Shaw to believe.  Shaw draws her gun and points it at Root.  “No.  We can’t.”  Root knows Shaw will not shoot her and she’s certainly not going to pull a gun on Shaw.  “Shaw.”  But Shaw won’t let her finish.  “The simplest way to break someone is to rob them of their reality, and they did that well.  And maybe you're right, maybe I am safe.  But as long as I'm alive you'll never be safe.”  Root knows she’ll always be safe with Shaw.  “What do you mean?” 

“I could turn on you at any moment, and even if I don't, I could lead them to the Machine.”  Root believes absolutely in Shaw.  “That’ll never happen.”  But Shaw believes leaving Root is the only way to keep her safe.  “I don't know if I'm calling the shots anymore and neither do you.  7,000 simulations.  I killed a lot of people, but the one person that I couldn't kill was you.”  Root raises a corner of her mouth but she can’t bring herself to smile.  “So I killed myself.  Over and over again.” Root’s horrified.  Shaw raises the gun to her temple.  “And I'd rather do that here and now than to risk your life.”  Unlike the simulations, Root will never stand by and let Shaw die and she will never walk away.

“Okay, Shaw.”  Root pulls her gun and raises it to her own chin.  “What the hell are you doing?”  Root knows she has one chance at saving them both.  She stares Shaw down and sighs.  “Okay Shaw, we'll play it your way here.  You can't live with me.  I can't live without you.  So if you die, I die too.”  Until that moment it never occurred to Shaw that Root would rather die than live without her.  “Put that down.”  But Root doesn’t and Shaw knows it’s not a bluff.  “I really don't know what's gonna happen when we pull the trigger.  Never been much of a believer, but hey you never know.  Guess we're about to find out, aren't we?”  Shaw’s always known Root loves her.  There was something between them from the first time they met.  As much as she tried to fight it, Root never gave up on her.  She believed enough for the both of them and she was right.  “Damn it, Root.”  Shaw takes the biggest leap of faith in her life.  She lowers the gun.  “Come on Sam.  Let’s go home.”


	7. Breaking Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw lies in the bathtub staring at the ceiling. She escaped Samaritan’s facility but still feels trapped, this time in a prison of her own making. But this prison she can’t break out from; at least not alone. She survived all of Samaritan and Martine’s torture and their sick mind fucks, but if she doesn’t find a way out of her self-imposed penitentiary, they’ll have won anyway.

As they make their way home, Root can’t help but study Shaw like this is another dream and she’ll disappear when Root wakes up.  Shaw looks haunted, a mere shadow of her former self, and her eyes are glazed, clearly exhausted.  She looks around continuously, more hyper-vigilant than ever.  Root senses she’s not ready to be touched.  She remembers the way Shaw stiffened under her fingers in the park.  But Shaw does move into her, deliberately walking shoulder to shoulder until they reach their apartment.

She hesitates downstairs.  “This is not a good idea Root.  I killed Lambert.  Martine’s definitely tracking me and I won’t let her get to you.”  Root tentatively reaches for Shaw’s hand.  Shaw lets her hold it but keeps her fingers loose.  “No she isn’t and no she won’t.”  Shaw shakes her head in frustration but before she can say anything Root continues.  “I killed her.  Snapped her neck with that move you taught me.  She’ll never hurt you again.”  Shaw shivers, looking profoundly relieved and it breaks Root’s heart.  She can only imagine Shaw’s suffering at that bitch’s hands.  _Maybe if I had killed her at the church things would’ve played out differently._

Shaw interlaces her fingers with Root’s and allows herself to be led inside the building.  Root heads toward the elevator but Shaw pulls her towards the stairs.  It’s obvious she doesn’t want to feel enclosed.  When they reach the door to their apartment, she falters.  Root opens the door but waits, giving her all the time she needs to process.  Shaw takes a deep breath and crosses the threshold.  Once inside her eyes dart all over, finally settling on the windows. 

She walks over slowly and stands looking out at the city.  Root stands next to her, not breaking the silence.  Shaw’s not sure what she expected, but it’s obvious Root didn’t change a thing.  Even her jacket is still hanging by the door, her shoes lying under it haphazardly the way she left them.  It smells like home and comfort, their unique scents still blended.  But nothing feels right and it takes all of Shaw’s willpower not to run screaming.  Samaritan took everything from her, even Root. 

Root senses Shaw’s growing agitation and places her hand on the small of Shaw’s back.  She’s quaking uncontrollably and flinches at Root’s touch.  But Root doesn’t pull away and Shaw starts to calm.  They stand at the window for a long time until finally Shaw takes a deep breath and turns around.

“Sam, you want me be to draw you a bath?”  Shaw nods her head yes and Root heads towards the bathroom, leaving Shaw standing by the window.  Root waits until the water’s scalding before she fills the tub.  When she turns around, Shaw’s standing in the doorway looking lost like tears in the rain.  Root’s not sure what to do, but after a few seconds she starts to walk out, not wanting to crowd her.  Shaw doesn’t move.  As Root’s squeezing by, Shaw clasps her hand, bodies touching, for a few seconds.  She lets go without looking at Root and walks into the bathroom.  Root starts to pull the door closed to give her privacy, but hears her whisper, “Leave it open.  Please.”

Root moves away quietly letting out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding.  She decides to change and slips into a t-shirt and her loose cotton shorts.  She wonders if it will make Shaw uncomfortable, knowing Root’s naked underneath.  But Shaw also won’t like Root tiptoeing around her like she’s an invalid so she doesn’t change. 

Walking into the kitchen, she decides to order some food, sure Shaw hasn’t been eating much; she’s lost at least 20 pounds and looks like a shadow of her former self.  She debates whether to order Shaw a steak, but then decides that’s probably too much at once, so she orders a pizza instead.

Shaw lies in the bathtub staring at the ceiling.  She escaped Samaritan’s facility but still feels trapped, this time in a prison of her own making.  But this prison she can’t break out from; at least not alone.  She survived all of Samaritan and Martine’s torture and their sick mind fucks, but if she doesn’t find a way out of her self-imposed penitentiary, they’ll have won anyway.  Slowly she takes the soap and washes her body, trying to wipe herself clean of the memories.

By the time Shaw’s done with her bath, the pizza’s arrived.  She looks at Root, trying to force a smile.  “I’m not really hungry.”  Root sees right through the feigned attempt.  “Sameen, you don’t have to pretend with me ever.  I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”  There are so many other things Root wants to say, but she doesn’t want to overwhelm her, so she forces herself to step away to grab a couple of plates.  Shaw sits down and takes a whiff of the pizza.  Root passes her a plate.  “You want a beer?  Water?  Scotch?” Root asks smiling.  Shaw starts to nod her head no, but then decides she needs to force herself to do normal things.  Maybe that will help her to start feeling more like herself.  “Beer.”  Root grabs two.

Root eats quietly, not wanting to disturb Shaw.  “So what’s been happening?”  Root wonders how much she should say, but makes up her mind to be honest.  It’s what they’ve always been with each other.  “Well, I had to save Harry’s ass a few times.  He tried to kill himself.  We went to a wedding.  I walked on a rooftop ledge with my eyes closed.  Checked Harry into an asylum.  We got captured by Samaritan.  The Machine traded her location for our release.  We managed to save Her.  Produced a show whose devotees believe in aliens.  John almost died.”  Root pauses.  “You know, same old, same old.”  Shaw looks at her skeptically.  “Why do I get the feeling you’re leaving some key points out?”  Root just smiles, happy Shaw’s started to engage.

While Root’s been talking, Shaw polished off most of the pizza.  She realizes she was hungrier than she thought or maybe its Root’s presence allowing her to feel safe enough to eat unhurriedly.  She gets up from the table and grabs another beer from the fridge, ending up on the couch.  Root cleans up and wonders what she should do next.  Leave Shaw alone, sit with her, talk.  She wants to give her what she needs, which may not necessarily be what she wants.

Shaw’s wondering the same thing.  _What now?_   She thinks back to everything she told herself she’d do if she escaped.  Other than destroying Samaritan and it’s evil trinity, what she wanted was Root.  She chugs her beer.  She feels Root standing behind her.  Without looking she reaches up and takes her hand, tugging her around to sit next to her.   Shaw hasn’t been touched in any but the most perfunctory ways in over nine months.  Except for being tortured of course.  She’s not sure she can force her walls down in order to let Root inside.

They hold hands loosely and Root rests her head on Shaw’s shoulder.  Shaw speaks first.  “You can talk to me you know.”  Root sighs but doesn’t look up.  “I don’t want to overwhelm you.”  Shaw squeezes her hand hard, clearly exasperated.  “I’ll let you know when to shut up.”  Root's been lonely without her best friend. She hasn’t had anyone to confide in since she lost Shaw and there are a million things she wants to share.  She wants to know what Shaw thinks.  She wants to hear her laugh.  Hell she even wants to see her roll her eyes and scowl.

“John and I shot a rocket at Control’s SUV and she had a play date with my taser.”  Shaw allows a slight smile to play over her lips.  “Hmmm, wish I could’ve been there to see that.  I hope you gave her my regards.”  Root assures her.  “Oh, you were definitely the main topic of conversation.”  Shaw’s sure she knows exactly why Root went after Control. 

“John and I also wreaked a little havoc over five states and tortured a woman for information.  It drove Harry to apoplexy.”  At this Shaw raises her eyebrows.  She knows Root’s not that person anymore and is pretty sure she’s the reason behind the relapse.  But she’s not going to fault Root for doing what she needed to do, although it angers her Root was put in that position in the first place.

Shaw looks up and gently places her hand on Root’s chin.  Root gazes down into Shaw’s eyes.  Looking at the love she sees there, Shaw’s breathing goes erratic and she fights desperately against the urge to flee.  She clenches her eyes shut.  Root can’t stand the pain she feels emanating from Shaw like a wild fire.  She leans in and bathes Shaw’s lips with her tongue.  Shaw doesn’t pull away and she considers it permission to continue.

She tenderly traces Shaw’s mouth, feeling Shaw’s quick intake of breath.  She places her hand on the nape of her neck, gently massaging while she opens her mouth slightly leaning in to soothingly tug at Shaw’s lips.  She feels Shaw lightly stroking her arms and nips at Shaw’s mouth softly, letting her teeth graze slightly as she pulls away.  “Don’t stop.”  Root looks into Shaw’s eyes and sees the slow kindling of desire.  She rises from the couch, pulling Shaw quietly with her.

They stand facing each other and Root can’t help but drink in the sight of Shaw.  What she sees pierces her heart.  Shaw looks defeated, lost, and scared.  Root is careful not to let it show in her eyes.  Root’s pain is not what she needs right now.

Root skims her hands imperceptibly down Shaw’s arms, leaning in to capture her lips again.  Shaw parts her mouth timidly and Root slips her tongue inside delicately savoring, overwhelmed by her first taste of Shaw in so long.  Shaw brings her hands to Root’s waist pulling them closer and sinking into her mouth like a pebble into a pond.

Root reaches under Shaw’s tank top and lets her fingers explore her back drawing shapes, one morphing into the next.  She leans her head back a little and watches Shaw’s eyes carefully, seeking permission.  Shaw hesitatingly raises her arms and allows her to take off her tank top, immediately pulling their bodies back together.  Root feels new scars marring Shaw’s skin and again she fights to keep tears from her eyes.  She nibbles from Shaw’s mouth to her jaw and up around to her neck, biting shallowly at her pulse point before faintly tracing the ridge of her ear with her tongue.  Shaw scratches softly at her back. 

Root steps back, weaving kisses between Shaw’s breasts and down to her midriff.  She slowly sinks to her knees, pulling Shaw’s boy-shorts down gradually, giving Shaw time to protest.  Shaw silently steps out of them.  Root drifts up her body, her hands rippling across every inch of skin she can reach.  Shaw’s breath hitches slightly at the contact but she tries to relax. 

Root knows Shaw’s consciously trying to let go and doesn’t want her to feel more vulnerable than she already does.  So she steps back, Shaw’s hands resting lightly on her waist.  She removes her t-shirt deliberately and pushes her shorts down letting them fall and pushing them away.  She inches their bodies together, feeling Shaw’s nipples harden at the contact and her arms wrap possessively around her. 

This time Shaw initiates the kiss, greedily searching Root’s mouth, demanding entrance.  Root’s heart beats like a drum and she closes the distance between them.  They come apart to catch their breaths and Shaw drowns in Root’s scent, reveling in the comfort it always brings.

Wanting to feel Shaw on top of her, Root leads them towards the bed.  Shaw pauses and Root lies down first.  Shaw falls into Root’s eyes, searching…for herself.  Root raises her hand in supplication and she hesitantly takes it letting herself fall slowly.  Root catches her and she sinks into familiar warmth. 

Shaw settles her center on Root’s thigh hissing when it hits her swollen clit and she simultaneously feels Root’s wetness on her own.  She props herself with her elbows at either side of Root’s head and entangles her fingers in her hair and melts into Root’s eyes.  They’re like mysterious secrets, dark to cover the pain of ignorance, opaque to the want of another.

She brings their mouths together and it’s like coming home.  She begins to glide against Root and she groans, their bodies finding a rhythm they discovered long ago.  But Shaw’s endured too much silence already.  “Talk to me.”  Root’s stomach flutters at the words.  She wants to let Shaw know how much she craves her and missed her, but she doesn’t want to remind her of her time in Samaritan’s clutches.  Shaw growls.  “Don’t think Root.” 

“I can’t think…when your body’s moving against mine” she pants.  “Seems I can’t speak either.”  Shaw chooses that moment to increase the friction and Root loses her train of thought, moaning into Shaw’s ear.  Shaw’s licking and nipping her neck and Root’s drowning.  She holds onto to the nape of Shaw’s neck like she’s a life raft and forces Shaw’s forehead against her own.  They move in tandem lost in each other’s eyes.  “I will always be yours Sameen.”  Shaw’s pleasure soars and she feels like she’s exploding, closing her eyes and arching so there’s no space between them. 

“Sameen, look at me.  Please.”  Shaw opens her eyes and there’s a tempest brewing and Root’s willingly blown away.  Shaw falters, falling over the edge, but Root’s right behind her and they clutch each other until they’re both spent, breathing heavily.  Root brushes Shaw’s hair from her face and feathers her fingers down Shaw’s back.

Shaw recovers and tries to move away.  Root wants her to stay but decides hugging Shaw tightly would not be welcomed.  “Sam, will you stay just a minute more?”  Shaw doesn’t answer but lies back down, draping Root’s body and resting her head on her shoulder.  Root inhales the smell she’s craved in her dreams for so long, allowing it to envelop her. 


	8. Healing Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They ripped you from me. Twisted everything I feel for you until it was unrecognizable even in my memories.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the previous chapter. It's still Shaw's first night back after Root finds her in the park. 
> 
> I don't usually post warnings but this chapter includes a little heavier BDSM. Knife-play, angry sex, and angst abound. But it heals.

“Root.”  There’s a strange note in Shaw’s tone, almost as if she’s reluctant to speak.  Root waits, gently squeezing her bicep to encourage her to continue.  “I need to claim you.  To…”  Shaw’s voice fades away.  She rolls off Root, lying next to her, their bodies touching all along their length.  Root knows there’s more.  “Tell me.”  Shaw takes a deep breath.  “I need to posses you.  To own you.”   Root doesn’t hesitate.  “I will always surrender to you Sameen.”   

“It’s not something we’ve done before.”  Root wonders what she could possibly be talking about.  They’ve covered the gamut in their sex life.  Bondage.  Sense Play.  Fisting.  Asphyxiation.  “You want to use a knife.”  Shaw stops breathing.  “Yes.”  Again Root doesn’t hesitate.  “Yes Sam.  You can even cut, just not my face.  Take me any way you please.  Any way you need… Breathe Sameen.”  Shaw starts breathing again.  “Are you sure?  I don’t want you to…”  But Root interrupts her.  “Yes, I’m sure.  Safe word is the usual, Persia.  Let me just wash up a bit.”  Root gives her a genuine smile.  “You left me a little sticky.”  Root understands exactly.  Shaw needs to know she can trust herself to not hurt Root.

Root’s engaged in knife-play a couple of times but she’s always been the one holding the knife.  She never felt pleasure or excitement or release as a result.  Knife-play is erotic and intense and when you have no feelings for the person on the other side of your blade it’s more like playing with a toy.  Root would’ve never trusted anyone to wield it over her except Shaw.

Shaw gets up and wonders if her weapons are still where she left them.  She should’ve known.  Root hasn’t changed anything.  She wonders if that’s because Root wanted her to feel at home when she returned or because Root thought she was dead and wanted to hold on to their life together.  Maybe they’ll talk about it later.  Or not.  She finds her favorite combat knife from her life in the marines and heads to the kitchen to clean and disinfect it.

She heard Root finish in the bathroom and decides to wash up herself.  When she comes into the bedroom, Root’s lying on the bed on her back like an offering.  She’s wearing Shaw’s tank-top.  It takes Shaw’s breath away and she stands still not sure she can move.  After a couple of minutes Root sits up and scoots to the bottom of the bed.  Resting on her knees she reaches out and extends her hand waiting for Shaw to take it.  She looks into Shaw’s eyes without fear and with something akin to anticipation.  It’s enough to bring Shaw back to the moment.  Root lies back down without taking her eyes from Shaw’s.

Shaw glances away and notices the nightstand.  There are cuffs, scarves, a strap on, and a wash cloth.  She looks at Root, who's unabashed.  “I didn’t know what you’d want.  First aid kit is in the drawer.”  Again Shaw is speechless at the unwavering trust Root places in her.  “Root…”  Root looks at her openly.  “They…”  But she can’t continue and looks away. 

Resolutely, she turns back, rage and desire battling within her.  She lifts the hand holding the knife and places its tip on her chin thoughtfully, her eyes absorbing Root’s body like an artist evaluating her subject before putting brush to canvass.  Even with the window closed the noise of the city imbues the space between them in a faint cacophony of sound.  The harmony envelops Root and she’s comforted by the familiarity. 

Shaw moves closer casually, trapping Root’s eyes with her intensity, the knife scraping ominously against the frame of the bed.   In the blink of an eye Root senses more than sees the knife appear in Shaw’s hand floating over her abdomen.  Her eyes dart towards it involuntarily.  She knows the blade; she’s seen Shaw kill with it.  The danger is palpable.  Unexpectedly it occurs to Root she’s turned down a dead-end street in a bad neighborhood, defenseless.  

All sound dies and Root can only hear her own ragged breathing.  Shaw balances the knife on her open palm, the luminous tip resting on her wrist.  Suddenly the knife shoots straight up reaching its apex swiftly and immediately descending, rotating end over end so fast it’s just a blur.  Root freezes, a roaring reverberating in her ears, and slams her eyes shut.  Sooner than she can think or blink, the point scratches her skin so imperceptibly she may have imagined it.  Her eyes rocket open and she exhales sharply.  Every nerve ending in her body is screaming and she feels keenly alive.  She’s riveted by the knife, still poised so close a deep breath will pierce her skin.  Shaw’s grip never wavers, the knife still as the death it promises.  In slow motion Root’s eyes travel from Shaw’s wrist to her powerful bicep finally resting on her eyes.  There she finds a challenge, Shaw daring her to continue.  Root looks at her and licks her lips slowly, a smile slowly emerging.  It’s all the permission Shaw needs.

She uses the scarves to tie Root to the headboard wanting to be able to cut her loose instantly.  Root has her legs spread apart with one knee raised and her wetness glistens in the light coming through the window.  Shaw’s eyes broadcast danger like a tiger ready to pounce and an intensity that takes Root’s breath away.  Another scarf serves as a blindfold.  Root’s a bit scared, she’d be an idiot not to be.  But adrenaline still courses through her blood and she finds it’s heightening her anticipation, her clit throbbing with need. 

Shaw lets her breath sweep over Root’s mouth.  Root tries to surge up and kiss her but the restraints prevent it.  She sighs in frustration.  Light glints off the blade and Shaw growls.  “Stay still Root.”  Root obeys, knowing the knife’s threat is real.  She feels the dull edge roving over her lips.

Unexpectedly she feels the knife blade at her throat and swallows hard.  It’s resting lightly on her skin but it’s enough to feel the sharp steel like a pinprick.  Her heart rate climbs and she swallows hard again, her mouth suddenly dry.  “Are you scared Root?”  Root will never admit it to Shaw and carefully nods her head no.  “You should be.  I’ve been programmed to kill you.”  Root finds her voice but speaks softly, a promise in the dark.  “I trust you.”   Shaw’s voice is laced with menace when she whispers into Root’s ear.  “You’re a fool.”

The knife slices through the tank top without a sound, the cloth yielding without protest to the sharp steel.  Root feels the blade stroke her skin the entire length of her torso while she holds her breath.  Shaw’s mesmerized by the first mark on Root’s pale skin, a pink scratch true as the flight of an arrow.  Root’s shocked again by the sudden rush of fear.  Immediately a stinging wet drip follows racing down the trail of the knife.  She hisses, racked with a rush of desire.

Root takes Shaw’s breath away.  Despite her bound and sightless state, she's defiant.  It’s undeniable in her jutting chin, her grip on the restraints, and most of all in the knowing smile on her face.  Shaw feels a bolt of desire lancing through her.  She claims Root’s mouth, stealing her breath like a thief in the night, making it her own.  Root moans and writhes under her, but she stills when she feels the knife at her ear.  Instinctively she cries out.   “Sam don’t.”  Shaw waits for the safe word, but Root refuses to utter it.  “Afraid of losing the only hearing you have left?” Shaw mocks.  Root grits her teeth, her face flushed.  The knife is so still she’s not sure it’s still there.  She’s furious because she let Shaw get under her skin.  Clear as a bell, Root tells her “It’s not going to work.”

When Shaw speaks it’s condescending.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Root answers by leaning into the knife, which disappears instantly, Shaw's reflexes shielding Root from a serious cut.  Shaw growls.  “I don’t know what you’re playing at Root.  But you’re seriously mistaken if you think I won’t hurt you.”  Root knows better than to bait her.  She feels the heat of Shaw’s anger, searing and threatening destruction.  But she knows she's made her point.  Shaw has no intention of hurting her.    

Shaw lies on her side, drawing the knife across Root’s collarbone to the underside of her breasts stopping just above her sex.  The room is cool but Root's skin burns with anticipation and craving for Shaw’s touch.  A moan escapes her lips and she fights the urge to arch into the pain.  With sparking clarity she realizes she’s playing Russian roulette and the gun’s loaded with more than one bullet.  Any control she feels is a mirage on the road on a hot day, shimmering like water.  It was never really there at all.  Belatedly it hits her like a bolt of lightning; she’s playing for keeps.  The stakes are simple: Shaw.

Shaw’s never been able to read Root, but she knows something just happened.  Root’s breathing stilled for a moment, her face taut with concentration.  “Now you understand.”  Shaw tells her matter-of-factly as she continues the knife’s path from her center around to her thigh and back down to the other.  Shaw smiles as she nestles her body on top of Root’s.

She claims Root’s mouth roughly, biting hard and thrusting fast.  She grabs the nape of her neck almost painfully with one hand and forces the blade into Root’s shoulder drawing blood and leaving a two inch gash behind.  Root screams into her mouth and she swallows it pressing her assault.  Root wraps her legs around Shaw’s waist in a death grip, grinding their clits together.  Shaw starts at the contact and pulls back slightly growling.  Root takes a breath and vaguely feels the blood leaking from the wound but the feel of Shaw grinding against her, biting her neck, swamps her in pleasure.

Shaw almost lets herself go, but Root needs to learn the lesson even if she has to carve it into her skin.  She pulls away and sits up, Root’s legs still clamped on her waist.  Root’s panting and gyrating her center into Shaw’s abdomen, seeking release.  “Let go Root.”  But Root’s desperate and fails to heed the warning in Shaw’s tone. 

Shaw uses one hand to shove Root down onto the bed and slices into Root’s thigh leaving an invisible slash behind.  The knife’s honed to perfection and races through Root’s skin without resistance.  It takes several long seconds for Root to register the pain.  A shout erupts from deep in her throat.  “Fuck!”  She drops her legs, hissing when the movement sends a new shockwave of pain down her thigh.  She’s breathing harshly through her mouth trying to absorb the pain, breathing through it.  “I told you Root.  I will hurt you.”  Root’s suffered much worse on missions but never in combination with raw pleasure singing through her body.  Panting, she asks “Who said it hurt?”  Shaw smiles.

She bends over Root bracing herself with one hand, the other holding the knife loosely.  Root arches into her body desperately.  “Sam, please!”  Shaw leans further down, their breasts touching.  But just as Root sighs, she’s blinking her eyes, startled by the light cascading through the window as the blindfold falls away.  She tries to calm her body and her mind, taking deep slow breaths. 

Shaw hovers over her, hair sheltering Root’s face like a canopy offering protection from the scalding sun.   But other deadlier dangers lurk within.  Her eyes darken into a deep shade of russet when she’s angry and Root looks into them hungrily.  Shaw stares right back unflinchingly, intoxicated by Root’s eyes.  She doesn’t buy the “eyes as windows to the soul” crap.  But on the rare occasions when Root willingly breaks herself wide open, she finds everything she’s ever needed in Root's.

She’s laying herself bare right now; everything she feels about Shaw on display.  Shaw jerks away angrily.  “I’m not who you think I am.  Not anymore.”  Root looks at her with absolute conviction.  “I know exactly who you are.”  Shaw smiles but it’s cruel and it takes everything in Root’s soul to keep her gaze steady and open, daring Shaw to prove her wrong.  “I will break you Root.”  Root gives her a sad smile.  “I don’t care.”

The knife is smeared with Root’s blood and Shaw raises it to her lips, licking slowly with the tip of her tongue.  The coppery taste sparks a high-speed fuse inside Shaw and detonates inside Root’s mouth as she thrusts her blood-tainted tongue inside.  Her hair gripped tightly in Shaw’s fist, Root sucks Shaw’s tongue even deeper inside and bites sharply, making her own cut, moaning at the taste of their blood.  Shaw roars into her mouth and feels a dam inside her collapse, a raging flood of need and want and rage ravaging her body.

Root sees it and in her eyes Shaw finds only raw need and burning desire.  “You will not break me Sam. You could. But you don't want to.”  A scream tears out of Shaw’s throat and she shakes her head violently, but her words float like a leaf in a gentle breeze.  “You’re wrong Root and that’s the saddest part of all.”  Shaw roughly pushes off the bed and Root groans with desperation, fearing Shaw will leave before she can stop her. 

But Shaw doesn’t go far, simply stepping into the harness by the bed.  “Open your legs.”  Root complies slowly smiling lasciviously.  Shaw picks up the knife and kneels between them.  Root’s craving an orgasm like a coca-cola in the desert and she sighs in relief.  Shaw uses the blunt edge of the knife to part Root’s sex and Root’s not quick enough to hide the terror that ratchets through her body.  Shaw looks at her knowingly.

“I’m waiting.”  Root stays absolutely still.  “Is there something you want to say to me?”  Root looks at her refusing to mask her fear but all she says is “No.”  Shaw leaves the knife where it rests and slowly circles Root’s clit with her finger.  Root bites the inside of her cheek channeling all her considerable will into not moving.  Bit by bit, Shaw moves her finger down the outer side of Root’s outer lip.  Root can’t help but quiver slightly.  Shaw repeats the motion, returning once more to Root's clit and stroking it lightly.  Root’s having trouble regulating her breathing her eyes locked on Shaw’s.  “What about now?”  Root nods no. 

Shaw increases the rhythm on Root’s clit increasing the pressure.  Need spirals through Root’s body like a spool of unraveling thread but she focuses on nothing but Shaw’s eyes as her breathing increases.  Shaw knows Root will break soon.  She's breathing through her mouth, gripping onto the bindings around her wrists, but doesn’t move.  As she gets closer and closer to the edge she doubts this game will end well for either of them.  “I will always trust you” are the last words Root manages to speak before the orgasm consumes her.  But she comes silently reigning in her spasms, her eyes wide open still locked on Shaw’s.

Shaw’s blown away.  Root’s gaze is aggressive, defiant, and her belief remains absolute.  Shaw exhales sharply, her breath sucked from her body.  She’s never seen a more magnificent sight, powerful and alluring, and…masterful.  But it changes nothing.  She drags the knife from Root’s clit to her abdomen and enters her with the cock without notice, without permission, and without right.  Shaw pulls out and slides in gradually.  She stabs the knife into the mattress to its hilt and holds Root’s torso right at the spot under her ribs that drives Root to madness.

Slowly she lifts Root’s leg and rests it on her shoulder, opening Root up even more.  She continues her gentle invasion, the only sound Root’s wetness gripping the cock and the small hitches of Root’s breath.  Root can’t take anymore.  “Sam please.  I’m begging you.  Fuck me like you mean it.”  The unexpected curse darts through Shaw and straight to her clit, hitting the bull’s eye and Root gives her a smug smile.

Shaw slows down even more and rips the knife from the mattress.  Root’s frustration is bursting from her skin like shooting stars and now its anger flashing in her eyes.  It’s Shaw’s turn to give her a smug smile.  Shaw places the knife over Root’s heart on her breast.  Slowly she begins a cut.  Suddenly Root’s hand grips her wrist and Shaw realizes Root tore herself loose.  Shaw gives her a knowing look, but instead of yanking the knife away, Root presses it deeper, not letting go until there’s a deep two inch score on her breast. 

Shaw pulls the knife away slightly and stares deeply into her eyes, confused.   “I am not going anywhere Sam and not because I can’t.  I choose not to.”  She props herself up on her elbows and uses her new-found leverage to thrust against Shaw deeply.  Her eyes are blown open, deep pools of promise.  In them Shaw sees an unwavering resolve to give Shaw everything.  Needing more, Root lies down and places her hands on Shaw’s hips, forcing her to increase the pace.  When Shaw still holds back, Root again grabs the knife making another deep incision on her breast parallel to the first.  Shaw knows those will definitely scar and need stitches.  But as she starts to pull away, Root’s own rage erupts.  “Sameen enough!” 

She uses surprise and superior leverage to flip them so she’s on top of Shaw.  Shaw tries to throw her off, but Root’s using her thighs to keep Shaw in place and her arms are holding her entire weight as she grips Shaw’s wrists.  Shaw often forgets the strength in Root’s body because, unlike Shaw, she doesn’t wear it like armor.  But it’s there.  Silently at Shaw’s side, solid and steady and fearless.  

Root’s gaze unflinchingly traps her eyes.  She’s breathing rapidly and her body quakes with unspent desire.  Root’s aware immobilizing Shaw with her body might trigger terrifying memories.  “Do you want me to let go Sam?”  Shaw doesn’t respond and Root holds the position, the cock still inside her as she waits until she sees surrender in Shaw’s eyes.  Keeping their gazes locked, she sits back up, bringing Shaw’s hands with her, placing them on the spot under her ribs that drives her crazy.  She releases her grip on Shaw’s thighs and begins to ride her, blood leaking down her chest, still rebellious.  Shaw surges forward and flips them so she’s back on top.  She drives into Root, pouring all her rage, all her pain, and all her need into every punishing thrust.  And Root welcomes it, holding tight to Shaw’s biceps, and giving back in kind. 

Her orgasm rips through her without warning like a sudden summer storm and she arches into Shaw, screaming her name.  Shaw slows but never stops, deeply driving into Root, hitting her g-stop with each stroke.  Root holds her breath and exhales deeply.  “What?  Is that all you’ve got?”  Shaw grins wickedly and pulls out of her completely and slips off the bed.  “Fuck Sam, get back here.”

Shaw drops the harness and does just that. She lies on top of Root, claiming her mouth, pulling her hair, biting her neck. She plunges into Root with three fingers and her breath hitches.  “You’re so fucking wet.”  Root scratches her arms drawing blood and pulls Shaw into a punishing kiss, biting her lips violently, sucking her tongue forcefully, and licking roughly over the bruised skin.  Shaw’s pulsing clit meets Root’s firm thigh and she hisses. 

Shaw’s unrelenting possession propels Root higher and higher until she can’t see, can’t think, and can’t hear anything but their breathing as they crash together again and again like a raging sea breaking over jagged rocks.  In that moment Shaw owns her soul and she comes undone.  Her climax claims her and she grips the headboard and bites into her own bicep, muffling her screams.  Looking at her, Shaw sees beauty and strength and power equal to her own.  She hits her peak like a flash flood, howling into Root’s shoulder.  Gradually she pulls out of Root and grips her tightly, burrowing her head into Root’s neck as they plummet down from their high.

Shaw doesn’t move or say anything for a long time.  “They ripped you from me.  Twisted everything I feel for you until it was unrecognizable even in my memories.”  Root knows strength is what Shaw needs right now, so she swallows the gut wrenching pain erupting within her.  “Sameen…you kept everyone safe. You protected me.”   Shaw looks at her wonderingly, “How can you be so sure?”  Root gives her a genuine smile that lights up her eyes like a rising sun.  “Oh sweetie, you didn't hurt me in the simulations, why would that change?”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “You know there are other things…”  But Root shushes her with a finger gently placed over her mouth.

“Sameen we’ll work through everything together.  You don’t have to do it all at once.”  She feels Shaw let out a breath slowly and lift her head up.  “Well there is something I need to do right now.”  Root raises her eyebrow in question.  “I need to tend to those cuts.  The ones on your breast will scar.  You know that right?”  Root laughs.  “I’m counting on it.”


	9. Coming Out Of The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Talk to me Root… I thought I’d never hear your voice again…teasing, laughing…” Root gives a short laugh. “I’ll remind you the next time you roll your eyes at me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late on the evening when Root found Shaw. As you can see I've really been procrastinating. I don't know exactly how I'm going to deal with Root's disappearance.

It’s going on 11pm and Root figures Shaw will collapse from fatigue soon, but if anything Shaw seems to be coming alive with energy.  Root knows she won’t be sleeping tonight anyway, wanting nothing more than to absorb her presence.  “I think we need a shower.”  Shaw grins.  “You think?”  Root leaves the bed, dragging Shaw behind her. 

Shaw likes scalding showers and Root’s pale skin immediately turns pink from the heat.  They take turns washing each other and Root marvels at Shaw’s openness, shocked when she starts talking without prompting.  “They started by torturing me.  Lambert and Martine took turns.  They pumped me full of PCP and LSD.  The hallucinations were so intense...”  Shaw takes a deep breath.  They’re standing under increasingly cooling water, so when Shaw doesn’t start talking again immediately, Root turns off the shower and grabs them some towels.

Back in bed, Shaw lies down, pulling Root into her so her head is resting in the crook of Shaw’s neck.  Shaw’s skin feels ice-cold like a corpse and Root pulls the comforter over them.  The only light trickles through the window and the sounds of the city are distant, quieting in the late hours.  Root waits comfortably in the silence, not sure if Shaw wants to keep talking.

“I was dangling from a pipe, the cuffs digging into my wrists, and I could barely hold myself up, only the tips of my toes brushing the floor.  Martine enjoyed using the knife.  She kept a hood over my head so I never knew where to expect the next cut.  They lowered me for a couple of hours at a time, but never really let me sleep.”  Root’s resting on Shaw’s arm and she starts twirling Root’s hair absentmindedly.  She’s speaking in monotone as if she’s recounting something that happened to someone else.  Root can’t help but lightly caress some of the new scars she finds on Shaw’s skin.

“Sometimes it felt like I was being flayed alive.  During the more intense hallucinations, Martine would pretend to be you. …It was so hard…I wanted so desperately for it really to be you standing there.  I broke Root…somehow I told her about your cochlear implant.”  Her voice cracks and she holds Root tightly.  “Sam, I know.  It's okay.”

“Martine…she’s…was…one sick fuck.  They wanted me to give them the Machine’s location and our base of operations.  When the knife didn’t work, she used an iron.  Somehow Samaritan knew about the first time we met.  Martine tried to twist the memory.  Make me think it was you searing my skin, the smell of my burnt flesh in the air.  I knew she would kill me if Greer didn’t intervene.  I wished he wouldn’t.  That she would kill me and I’d finally be free.”  Root can’t contain the pain consuming her and silent tears drip down her face and onto Shaw’s shoulder.

“Lambert liked to use his fists.  He beat me back and blue, pummeled my kidneys, broke my ribs, and battered my face.  I was peeing blood.  He ruptured my appendix and I had to have emergency surgery.  I was being held in some hospital because they just took me from the basement up to an operating room and then to a regular hospital room.  But when I healed it all started back up again.”  The silence lingers for a few minutes.  “Then one day it all stopped.  I was taken to a regular hospital room, where they put me on an IV, gave me antibiotics, treated my cuts and burns.  They transferred me to another facility.  I never saw Martine again.  But then phase two began…the simulations.  It was worse than the physical pain.  I…”  Shaw takes a deep breath and Root kisses the skin under her mouth gently, rubbing her finger softly over Shaw’s abdomen.  “It’s okay.  I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

“Tell me about Martine.”  Root turns on her stomach so she can look into Shaw’s eyes.  “You called me.”  Shaw looks confused.  “I don’t remember…”  Understanding blazes from Root’s eyes.  “You must have been drugged but the Machine confirmed it was you and not some recording.  You asked me for help and then the phone went dead.  The Machine traced the call.  I…insisted She tell me where the call originated.”  Shaw interrupts. 

“How?  How did you insist?”  Root was hoping she’d get away with a vague retelling, but she wasn’t going to lie.  “I walked on a rooftop ledge with my eyes closed and basically played chicken with the Machine.  She blinked and told me where you were.”  A pained look crosses Shaw’s eyes.  “You came to find me.”  Root looks at her defiantly.  “Would you really expect any less from me?  We both know you’d have done exactly what I did.  I’m not a fool Sam.  I knew it was a trap.”  Shaw smiles sadly, but can't deny the truth in Root's words.

“Harry and I conned our way into the hospital.  Before I found you, I saw Greer inside what looked like a control room.  I told Harry to leave, but he didn’t.  When I found your room, I saw your jacket and rushed to the window.  They were leading you into an SUV.  I tried to rush out to follow, but Martine and several operatives intercepted me.  I killed her and we escaped.”  Root hopes Shaw will let it go.

“I deserve the truth Root.  All of it.”  Root sighs, but she knows Shaw’s right.  “They deliberately lured me there to remove the cochlear implant hoping it might help lead them to the Machine.  They sedated me and when I woke up they brought in Harold.  Martine told me about the implant and Greer gloated about you telling them.  She threatened Harry and when she got close again, I snapped her neck.  They were seconds away from sawing into my brain when Samaritan offered the Machine a trade.  Our lives for Her location.  The Machine accepted and we were released.”  Shaw shakes her head slowly and her eyes water, but tears never fall.  “Sam, I would risk it all again, even knowing the Machine would sacrifice Herself.  Besides, it was never about my implant.  Not really.  The entire scene was orchestrated to test the Machine’s devotion to its human agents.  In any case, we saved Her.

I was even more determined to find you at any cost.  I refused to complete any more missions until She helped me find you.  She showed me how to send you a message.”  Shaw’s eyes widen in understanding.  “You saved me.  I was sitting on the cold floor, a syringe gripped in my hand, ready to drive it through my eye and into my brain.  But when I heard your message…it breathed new life into me.”  Root feels Shaw’s body relax under her.  They lie like that for a while lost in their own thoughts.

“Sam…”  Root’s looking into her eyes with intensity akin to the cling of the sun to the lips of the earth.  Shaw’s awed by the sheer promise shining there like bolts from heaven.  She leans down and grazes Root’s lips with her own, her eyes wide open, struggling to accept everything Root so freely gives.  Root’s afraid she’ll drive Shaw away with her need and looks away.  But Shaw places one finger on her chin, lifting it gently until their eyes are again locked on each other.  “Talk to me Root… I thought I’d never hear your voice again…teasing, laughing…”

Root gives a short laugh.  “I’ll remind you the next time you roll your eyes at me.”  Root softly tucks Shaw’s hair behind her ear and leaves her hand resting on the nape of her neck.  “I want to make love to you…not just…” But Shaw interrupts her, pulling Root up so their naked bodies slot together and their lips meld like moonlight and shadow.  Root runs her hands through Shaw’s hair, lightly scratching her scalp, eliciting a moan.  She skims her hand down Shaw’s arm, reacquainting her fingertips with Shaw’s olive skin, her breath hitching when she feels new scars telling the story of Shaw’s torture, a nightmare branded into her skin.  Taking Shaw’s hand in her own, she nibbles down the tender skin of Shaw’s forearm placing butterfly kisses over her fingers. 

Her mouth slightly parted, she looks into Shaw’s eyes, asking permission before slowly claiming Shaw’s mouth.  Shaw responds by licking Root’s upper lip slowly.  Root reaches up and uses her finger to trace Shaw’s mouth, slipping it in slowly.  Shaw takes her finger and scrapes her teeth over it lightly still holding Root’s gaze.  Root nibbles her way from Shaw’s mouth to her neck, lightly sucking on her pulse point before grazing her tongue over the rim of her ear.

After all the violence of the last year, Shaw lets the waves of pleasure roll over her, her skin tingling from Root’s attention.  Root sucks gently along Shaw’s collarbone while caressing her breast with her fingers.  Shaw’s mouth summons her like a siren’s call and Root suckles her neck on the way, inhaling deeply, Shaw’s scent the most intoxicating drug she’s ever known.  She slips her tongue into Shaw’s mouth, stroking gently, their lips massaging, breathing growing erotic.  “I dreamt of you every night” Root breathes into Shaw’s ear.  She cradles her head in her hands while their mouths explore each other unhurriedly.

Shaw runs her hands all over Root’s back, biting softly at her shoulder.  Root slides down her body, nestling between her legs, circling her nipple with her tongue, circles slowly tightening.  She bites Shaw's hard nipple gently, while licking its center with her tongue.  Shaw groans with need and Root moves her attention to her other breast.  “I’m going to trace your body with my mouth…every inch…every scar.”  Root keeps her promise and Shaw stops thinking, willingly drowning in the flood of pleasure ravishing her body.

Every nerve in Shaw’s body feels electrified.  “Root, please…”  Root nuzzles her face into Shaw’s center, twirling her tongue at her entrance, clasping hands with Shaw.  Root can’t get enough of her taste, sliding her tongue inside then pulling out slowly before thrusting in deeper.  Her lips are nudging Shaw’s clit with every thrust of her tongue and Shaw is vibrating with pleasure, pulling on their clasped hands urgently.  But Root wants to look into Shaw’s eyes when she comes, so she climbs up Shaw’s body.  Shaw pulls her in for a deliciously languid kiss.  Tasting herself in Root’s mouth drives her to distraction and when she feel’s Root’s wetness on her thigh, she thinks she might come undone.  

Root pulls out of the kiss.  “I want to look at you Sameen, please.”  Shaw opens her eyes and Root enters her gradually, her eyes shining, offering every bit of herself.  She pulls out almost completely, then thrusts deeply, while her clit rides Shaw’s thigh.  "It feels so right to be inside you," she murmurs. Shaw loses track of time every inch of her body balanced on the edge of climax.  She cries Root’s name shamelessly, but Root maintains her steady rhythm slowly pulling Shaw’s orgasm from her body like gravity on her soul.

Shaw’s every muscle is taught with need, her body soaked with sweat, her thoughts filled with Root.  She’s moaning continuously.  Root’s own body is tensing and she knows she’s on the cusp of losing control.  “I want you to come for me Sameen…”  Before she finishes speaking, she ghosts her thumb over Shaw’s clit and Shaw explodes with pleasure, gasping and clenching Root to her tightly.  Captivated by the wanton pleasure written on Shaw’s face and her muscles clenching on her fingers Root lets go, shooting to the pinnacle of pleasure she’s only ever found with Shaw.  She keeps her fingers inside, applying gentle pressure until Shaw unclenches, then slowly withdrawing.   

She shifts and brings Shaw with her so they’re lying sideways face to face.  They’re both breathing hard and Shaw’s dazed, her climax shattering her composure, leaving her raw and vulnerable, but she feels safe.  As their breathing slows, a smile reaches out from Shaw’s eyes and Root comes undone in a totally different way.  “I love you Sameen.”  Shaw rolls her eyes playfully, “Yeah, I think I felt that.”  Root grins and pulls the comforter over them.  Shaw drifts off to sleep without fear for the first time since her capture.  She throws her leg over Root’s and drapes her arm over her abdomen, her head tucked into Root’s neck.  Root watches her late into the night, tears running silently down her face.

In the morning they both stir as the sun shines through the window.  Root smiles as Shaw groggily opens her eyes.  “Morning sweetie.”  Shaw sighs and buries her head in Root’s neck, hiding from the sun and maybe from the day ahead.  “Root, the team…I don’t think…”  Root feels Shaw tensing.  “Sam, the fight’s not over.  But if you can’t come back to the team, I’m going with you, wherever that may be.”  Shaw lifts her head up.  “Root, they need you.  You’re too important.”  Root doesn’t raise her voice but her tone brooks no argument.  “I know I made myself clear last night.  I can’t...I won't live without you.” 

Shaw exhales slowly and sits up.  She knows they have a much better chance against Samaritan if they all work together but she still doesn’t trust herself.  “Root, I’m barely convinced I won’t hurt you.  I could turn on the team or Samaritan may track me to the Machine….”  Root sees Shaw’s getting herself all worked up.   She sits up, crossing her legs, and clutching Shaw’s hands.  “I trust you.  We’ll fight side by side until nothing stands in our way.”

Shaw knows there’s no point arguing.  If she slinks away Root will drop everything to look for her.  She’s also not going to let Root leave the team so she can coddle Shaw back from the brink of insanity.  They’ll need to work together to have any chance of winning.  Although inside, Shaw believes they will all die trying.  “I’m going to take a shower.”  Root lets her go, her heart breaking at the defeated slump of Shaw’s shoulders.  But Shaw’s back and that’s all that matters.

After Shaw’s done, Root takes a quick shower.  They grab a bite at the diner and head off to meet the team at the park.  Shaw’s withdrawn and Root doesn’t want to make things worse so she prattles on like she usually does, making light-hearted conversation which Shaw mostly ignores.  They arrive at the park and see the team in the distance standing by the water. 

As they approach, Shaw falters and Root can feel the tension emanating from her in searing waves.  The team looks at her in a mix of wonder and relief.  Root smiles at her with the unwavering belief all she's ever needed resides in Shaw.  Shaw looks at them apprehensively but then her muscles relax in acceptance.  She takes a deep breath and exhales, some of the tension easing from her shoulders.  This is, after all, why she fought so hard.  To protect the team and make it back to Root.  She knows with them she's found absolute acceptance.  She starts walking again, eyes locked on Root.  She stops next to her, her shoulder anchoring her to Root’s body.  For once not concerned with how it looks. 

“Ms. Shaw…I am profoundly relieved to have you back with us.”  Shaw looks at Finch pensively.  Although Root skirted Shaw’s questions, she knows there’s some profound divide between her and Finch.  After a moment she nods her head in acknowledgment.  John squeezes her shoulder, communicating in a way he knows Shaw understands and appreciates.  Fusco looks more profoundly relieved than any of them.  “Good to have you back Deadly.  Nutter butter here was losing her mind.  More than usual.”  Shaw raises her eyebrows at him, but hides her smile.

 


	10. Stealing Her Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t agree.” It’s not a question. Finch knows Root has never agreed. “You built God, Harry. Who am I to question your judgment? Or hers?” Harold knows there’s more. “But?” Root thinks about what she could say this time to convince Harold when nothing she’s ever said before has made a difference. “But we're gonna lose. You know that. We have the most powerful ally in the world, but you're too high-minded to let her help us. So, we're gonna end up the most principled corpses in Potter's Field.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene takes place immediately after the reunion in the park. Shaw's back for a week before the Machine gives them Harold's number, so the next few chapters will tell the story of that week.
> 
> Comments are encouraged!

“Root, what’s going on with you and Finch?”  Root sighs and sits on the park bench, knowing she can’t evade Shaw’s questions indefinitely and now’s as good a time as any.  “We had a…”  Root flounders for the right words.  “…difference of opinion on how to find you.”  She rushes to her next sentence hoping to avoid any further questions about what happened between her and Harold during Shaw’s disappearance.  “Plus although the Machine’s an open system right now and able to communicate freely, he intends to close Her again, reducing Her only communication to the numbers.”

“Root you need to convince him to let the Machine fight.  I’ve seen up close and personal what these monsters will do to bring about their vision for humanity.  It’s not pretty.”  Root winces at Shaw’s words.  “I know Sam, but you know how stubborn he is…clinging to his ideas of principles and right and wrong.”  Shaw scowls deeply.  “We will lose…and all of it” Shaw’s breath hitches “will have been for nothing.”  Root knows she's thinking about everything she’s given and lost in the war against Samaritan.  “I’m going to head to the subway to talk to him.  Come with?”  But Shaw nods her head no.   “I’m going to take a walk.  Call me when you’re free.”  Root watches Shaw walk away.

She beats Harold to the subway and talks to the Machine.  She stands in the subway car and the Machine speaks.  “Admin will close the system today.  You must not stop him.”  Root’s anguish is written on her face.  “He’s wrong.  We need you to fight to have any chance of winning.”  Almost immediately the Machine repeats.  “Do not stop him.”  Root sighs, unwilling to defy her God.  But she sits down to code.  She hears Harold arriving and walks out of the subway car.

“Morning, Ms. Groves. How is Ms. Shaw faring?”  Root thinks of what a complicated answer than entails but settles for “Great.”  Harold gives her a disbelieving look.  “How's she really faring?”  Root needs to talk to him about the Machine, but she knows he won’t let it go.  “It's gonna take some time.”  Harold senses there’s something else on Root’s mind.  “Is there anything else the matter?”

Root looks away.  “We finally have open access to the Machine, and now you're planning to close it.  Go back to talking in numbers.”  Harold’s suspicious.  “Unless you've added telepathy to your long list of talents, there's no way that you could have known that I had chosen today to end our dialogue with the Machine.”  Root looks at him.  “You built Her to predict people, Harry.  And She's very good at it.  Starting with you.  She respects your decision.  She believes in you so much.”

“You don’t agree.”  It’s not a question.  Finch knows Root has never agreed.  “You built God, Harry.  Who am I to question your judgment?  Or Hers?”  Harold knows there’s more.  “But?”  Root thinks about what she could say this time to convince Harold when nothing she’s ever said before has made a difference.  “But we're gonna lose.  You know that.  We have the most powerful ally in the world, but you're too high-minded to let Her help us.  So, we're gonna end up the most principled corpses in Potter's Field.”

“We've stayed alive so far.”  It seems today will be no different.  Root pleads.  “We're not living.  We're surviving.  We're human.  Eventually, we'll make a mistake, and She'll die too.  I know why you didn't give Her a name.  You don't name something you may have to kill.  You had to kill the first 40 versions of Her.  But like it or not, Harry, She's your child.  And She's gonna die unknown, un-mourned.  She'll simply vanish without a trace.  And you couldn't even give Her a real voice to ask you if it needs to end like this.”

“I didn't give the Machine a name because I imagined that one day it might wish to choose one for itself.  And a system doesn't have to be open to be given a voice.  Whose voice would you prefer?”  Root knows Harold’s being deliberately obtuse.  Root’s not talking about a physical voice; she’s talking about the ability to communicate freely.  “She's a big girl.  Like you said, let Her choose.”  But there’s no point in continuing to push Harold now.  He’s shut himself down.  “I'm locking us out of the system.”  Maybe Shaw will be able to convince him.  She has more right than any of them to decide.

Harold leaves the subway and Root calls Shaw.  “Hey sweetie.  Where are you?”  When Shaw answers Root can tell it’s quiet.  “At your apartment…our place…home.”  Root understands Shaw’s struggling to acclimate.  “Can you come to the subway?”  There’s a long silence before Shaw answers.  “Okay.”  Root waits impatiently.  When Shaw arrives, she walks in casually, looking around slowly.  She notices her weights exactly where she left them and has no doubt her guns are still in the locker.  She raises her eyebrows at Root.  “I see nothing much has changed.”

Root gives a small smile.  “Sam, Harold closed the system.”  Shaw scowls, anger suffusing her face.  “Open it.”  Root smiles sadly.  “It won’t matter.  She won’t act until Harold says She can.”  Shaw kicks his chair.  “What’s it going to take?  Which one of us has to die for him to see we need Her to have a chance in hell of winning?!”


	11. The Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not angry with you. Or with John or Finch really. I’m just filled with rage and nowhere to focus it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This conversation happens right after Root talks to FInch and he tells her he's closing the system.

“Maybe you should talk to him Sam.  He’s carrying around a lot of baggage since the stock exchange.  Maybe you can help him see there’s another way.”  Shaw’s anger is tangible.  “Baggage?  You mean because he left me for dead and wouldn’t look for me?”  Root inhales sharply.  “I’m not stupid Root. And I know you.  What did he do to prevent you from coming right back down to the exchange?”  Root’s not sure this conversation will lead anywhere productive.  “It doesn’t matter, you’re back.”

Shaw slams her fist on the desk.  “Tell me.”  Root walks over and sits on the desk, tugging Shaw between her legs.  “John knocked me out.”  Shaw exhales sharply and looks away.  “I didn’t want you to get caught and I’m glad they stopped you.  But a part of me expected you to come….”  Shaw tries to pull away but Root grabs her hands.  “I would have.  It should’ve been me.”

“I was so relieved when I escaped and when I saw you again nothing else mattered.  But I’m angry Root.  Nine months is a long time.  When I woke up and realized I wasn’t dead, I was thrilled.  I knew you’d be looking for me.  I knew you wouldn’t give up until you found my body.  But then weeks passed and months and it got harder and harder to hang on.  After a certain point I didn’t even know why I was fighting so hard.  It was sheer stubbornness keeping me alive.  If I hadn’t gotten your message, I would be dead right now.  You have no idea how close I came.”

“They kept me sedated for a couple of days.  As soon as I woke up I started to search.  John backed me up every step of the way.  He even stood up to Harry when we resorted to somewhat unorthodox methods looking for a lead.”  Shaw gives a small smile.  “You mean torturing Control and that woman you told me about?”

“Yes.  I also killed a lot of people Sam.  I’m not proud of it, but I doubt I’d do it any differently given the chance.  I stopped working the irrelevant numbers except when the Machine told me I had to save Harry.  I even ignored the relevant numbers for a time, trying to prove to Her it was more dangerous not to let me go after you.  She wouldn’t tell me anything, not even if you were alive or dead.  But I knew you were alive.”

“I wonder why She didn’t just tell you I was dead.”

“I know why.  She couldn’t predict to a reasonable certainty what would happen if I thought you were dead.  It was just as likely I’d self destruct in one way or another instead of getting back in the game.  I’m not sure myself.  I was slowly self-destructing anyway.  Taking unnecessary risks, not caring if I got hurt.  I couldn’t concentrate on anything except you.”

“I’m not angry with you.  Or with John or Finch really.  I’m just filled with rage and nowhere to focus it.”

“After John and I went across the country looking for you, the Machine told us to stop searching.  Harold tried to convince me it would consume us and cost us the war.  I couldn’t stop so I tracked down every Samaritan operative I could find to try and uncover a lead, no matter how small.  But they were just foot soldiers.  Martine and Lambert were M.I.A.  Now I know why.”

 “I guess I can’t blame them for trying to protect you.  You’re just as important as Finch in this fight.”

“Sameen, so are you.  Your skills are different than ours, but just as important.  Without you we’d all be dead or worse.  And I need you.  You keep me balanced.  You give me something to fight for when I just want to give up.  I don’t want to win if it means losing you.”  Shaw responds angrily.

“Don’t be ridiculous Root.  Whatever happens you keep fighting.  Do you hear me?”

Root sighs.  “Yes Sam, I hear you.  But I’d be lying if I said I could.  If I knew you were dead, I’m not sure I’d care anymore.  I look at people every day.  They have no clue.  I’m not sure they’d care even if they did.  What difference does it make to the average person who runs the country?  They might even think it’s for the best.”

“Maybe.  But I damn sure am not going to bow down to some rust bucket.  It’s one thing to help track down bad guys; it’s another to kill people because of what they might do, even if there’s a high degree of probability.   Look at us.  We’re not the same people we were a couple of years ago.  Most days I’m not even sure I recognize myself.  I don’t kill people anymore.  I care about…things.  Fuck, I’m even in a…well us.”

Root can’t keep a huge grin from bursting onto her face.  “Sameen!  You were about to say we’re in a relationship!”  She gives Shaw a completely sappy doe-eyed look.

Shaw scowls and rolls her eyes.  “Don’t push it.”  But she leans in and captures Root’s lips in a lingering exploration.  “I’ll talk to Finch.”


	12. The First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell is the point of gluten free? Did everyone in New York develop celiac disease while I was gone?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shaw's second day back. She goes on her first mission with Root. Chaos ensues.

Shaw decides she’s still too worked up to talk to Finch right now.  “I’m hungry.”  Root knows there’s still a lot to work out, but it’s too much for Shaw to deal with all at once.  “Let’s go.”  They leave the subway and make their way to the diner. 

Shaw soaks in the aromas of the cooking food and the murmur of voices all around her.  The noise used to bother her, but she was trapped in silence for so long she actually finds it comforting.  Plus her favorite table is free, so all’s good.  She didn’t notice Root called ahead to make sure they freed up the table with the promise of an extra large tip.

Grabbing the menu, Shaw can’t seem to make up her mind.  “What the hell is the point of gluten free?  Did everyone in New York develop celiac disease while I was gone?” Root laughs.  “It’s the latest fad diet.  Not to mention a new market for food vendors.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “Idiots.”

When the waitress comes Root orders fruit and yogurt.  Shaw finally makes up her mind.  “Steak and eggs with a side of pancakes.”  Root smiles indulgently.  She loves to watch Shaw eat .

“So how come you’re not out working a number?”  Root looks at Shaw and wonders how to phrase it.  “There aren’t any urgent relevant numbers at the moment.”  Shaw stares at her.  “Is that code for you told the Machine not to bother you?”  Root should’ve known she wouldn’t get away with such a vague answer.  “Not exactly.  I just told her I wasn’t available to work irrelevant numbers for a few days.  She’ll tell me if any relevant numbers come up.” 

Shaw scowls at her.  “I’m not an invalid and I don’t want you babysitting me.”  But Root’s adamant.  “Did it occur to you it may not be about you?  That maybe I need this?”  Root’s not going to burden Shaw with her own pain but she’s not going to pretend she doesn’t need to be with her.  Shaw sighs.  “I just don’t want you to leave some poor sap to get hurt because of me.”  Root agrees.  “I won’t.”  The food arrives and Shaw digs in, not putting down her fork until every scrap of food is consumed.

Root looks away for a moment.  “Looks like you got your wish.  We have a relevant number.  Come on.”  She doesn’t give Shaw a chance to protest as she stands up and throws some money on the table, not forgetting the extra large tip.  Shaw follows but when they get outside she pulls Root’s arm to make her stop.  “We?”  Root knew this was coming.  “Yes we.  Look Sam, I can always use help with the relevant numbers, but usually I’m not in New York so it’s not an option.  I’m not coddling you.  I can really use the help.”  Shaw’s not sure she believes her, but she lets Root’s arm go and falls into step next to her. 

“So what’s the mission?”  Root has the faraway look she gets when talking to the Machine so Shaw waits.  “We need a limo and you need a hat.”  Shaw’s somewhat comforted to see not much has changed.  Root’s as inscrutable as ever.  They stop at an internet café and Root prints a new cover identity for herself.  A quick laminate and she’s now Aleksandra Georgi, cultural attaché at the Russian consulate.  They pass by an open dry cleaner van and Root snags a chauffeurs uniform for Shaw.  The Machine leads them to a limousine parked outside a hotel and Shaw hot wires it.  While Root drives, Shaw changes and they swap places at a traffic light.

“So what next?”  Root’s not sure.  “Drive to the Russian consulate.”  Root’s ID gets them through security.  Shaw drops her off and parks over by the other limousines.  She gets out and gravitates towards the other drivers.  One of them approaches her.  “Hi?  You new too?”  Shaw smiles.  “First day on the job.  You?”  The driver nods no.  “I’ve been driving for the Russians for a couple of years.  Nice to see a friendly face.  I’m Ted.” 

Shaw doesn’t introduce herself.  “You said ‘too.’  Any other new drivers?”  The man scoffs.  “Yeah.  Some asshole who parked so close he grazed my limo.  He’s driving some Chechen big wig.”  Shaw gets a sense of déjà vu.  She quickly disentangles herself from the conversation.  “It takes all types.  I’m going to try to catch a cat nap.  See you later.”

She turns on her comm.  “Root.”  At the moment Root’s in ‘her’ office, trying to figure out what’s going on.  “Hey sweetie.  So far all I’ve found is a fifth of vodka hidden in a drawer.  Seems our attaché likes a little nip in the afternoon.”  Shaw ignores the comment.  “I think we’re looking for C4.”  Root stops her search.  “How do you know?” 

“One of the Samaritan simulations involved Chechen terrorists bombing the Russian consulate.”  Root considers the possibility.  “Were they helpful enough to show you where they placed the bomb?”  Shaw sighs, obviously frustrated.  “No.  In the simulation they were still at their hideout.  But ten pounds of C4 placed near the gas furnace of the building could totally demolish it.  They’d still need a detonator. But that’s easy to set attached to a battery and a timer.”  Root quickly accesses the building’s blueprints.  “The furnace is at the back of the building, right near a service entrance.”

“Get out of there now Root.”  Root doesn’t answer, quickly hitting the stairs and heading towards the furnace room.  Shaw sets out at a run for the back of the building hoping to find the service entrance.  As she spots the door, a gunman spots her.  She takes cover behind a car and returns fire.  _Come on Root!  Get out of there!_

She can’t wait any longer.   Root’s still inside and they have no idea how or when the bomb will be detonated.  She crawls under the cars separating her from the gunman.  When she’s close enough, she shoots at his legs and he falls to the floor.  She pops out and shoots him in the head for good measure.  She’s not leaving him behind her back able to cause all sorts of trouble or delays.  She learned that lesson with blood, sweat, and tears.

Inside, Root finds the furnace room but it’s locked.  She shoots the lock, hoping not to trigger the bomb on the other side, but she doesn’t have time for much else.  “Sam, I found it!  What do I do?”  Shaw’s busy fending off two other gunmen.  “Ask the Machine!”  But the Machine’s silent in Root’s ear.  Root studies the bomb, but she has no clue how to disarm it.

She bursts out of the service entrance guns blazing and expertly takes down the two remaining gunmen.  “Sam, the bomb!”  Shaw sprints for the door and ducks into the furnace room, Root following.  She studies the device.  It seems to be equipped with a simple firing circuit, but she needs to be sure or they’ll be blown to bits along with the Russians.  If it’s a collapsing circuit, cutting any wire will trigger the device.

Before Shaw can conduct a more thorough examination, one of the gunmen from outside appears in the doorway and fires into the room, hitting Root.  Shaw pivots and puts one through his head.  Root’s on the floor but still conscious.  Shaw bends over her, face impassive.  The bullet grazed Root’s torso.  She rips off her shirt and presses it to Root’s side.  Root doesn’t have to be told to apply pressure.  She’s been shot so many times she knows the drill.

Shaw pulls her knife and uses it to cut the wires.  The bomb doesn’t blow, so she disassembles it and helps Root back to the limousine.  Root’s weak from blood loss, but the wound is not life threatening.  Shaw doesn’t say a word and drives them to the subway.  Once inside she helps Root to the cot, stores the C4, and goes into the bathroom for supplies.

“Sameen, I’m sorry.”  Root’s not exactly sure what she’s apologizing for but she knows Shaw’s angry.  Shaw never reacts well to Root being injured, but this seems to go beyond simple annoyance.  Shaw ignores her while she tends to the wound.  When she’s done she puts away the supplies and heads for the exit. 

“Sam, wait…”  Shaw doesn’t answer and leaves without looking back.  Root’s not sure what to do.  _What if she doesn’t come back?_ She groans in frustration and reaches for her phone.  She calls Shaw but gets sent to voicemail.  She’s not in any condition to roam the city looking for her, so she leaves a message.   “Sam, please come back…”  Root struggles for more words, but a one way conversation on voicemail isn’t going to solve anything.  She hangs up and waits, debating whether to call John and have him look for her.  But even if he finds her it will only make matters worse.

When Shaw hits the street, she feels an inferno burning inside her.  She tries to catch her breath but feels faint and dizzy.  She wonders if she’s having a panic attack.  She leans against a storefront and takes deep slow breaths until she recovers her equilibrium.  She makes her way to the limo and dumps it in Brooklyn.  As she walks towards the subway she realizes she should’ve never come back.

Root dozes off at some point and wakes to realize several hours have passed.  She hasn’t heard from Shaw and the boys are still out.  She doesn’t want to answer any questions so she decides to head home.  If she doesn’t hear from Shaw by the time she gets back to the apartment, she’s going to go find her.

Root walks into the apartment to find Shaw hasn’t returned.  She takes a shower, careful of her dressing and puts on clean clothes.  The Machine has been silent since the completion of the mission, but Root’s desperate so she asks Her for Shaw’s location.  She gives Root an address and Root heads out, not sure where she’s going. 

The address is in a somewhat seedy part of town, but not too far from their apartment, although it’s difficult to find, the entrance facing an alleyway.  It turns out be a dive bar called the Brass Rail.  The place is a hole in the wall and when Root walks in she blinks her eyes at the sudden darkness.  The bar looks something like the interior of a coffin. The wallpaper is a dark burgundy with a strange shine to it.  Either the shine is part of the effect, or no one has cleaned the place for the last twenty years or so. There’s a smell of stale beer and nicotine.  A weathered pool table sits in the corner and an ancient dart board hangs on the back wall. 

As she steps further into the space, Root spots Shaw at the bar.  There are several empty shot glasses in front of her and a tall brunette is hanging from her neck.  Shaw doesn’t seem to be paying her any attention but it boils Root’s blood.  She takes a calming breath and walks closer, finally catching Shaw’s eye in the mirror hanging behind the bar.  Her half-lidded expression makes it difficult for Root to tell where her head’s at.

It’s obvious she’s been here for a while.  Her eyes are red rimmed and her pupils are dilated.  Her pony tail is falling apart, hair clinging to her sweat-soaked forehead.  Her clothes are also disheveled, although that may simply be a by-product of the brunette.  _We’re too old for this shit._   Root walks over and sits on the side of Shaw not occupied by the brunette.  “Hey sweetie.” 

Shaw turns her body to face her and the brunette stumbles back.  “Whoa baby…give a wirl a garning…”  She laughs, wrapping both arms around Shaw and nuzzling her neck.  She looks at Root.  “Hi, I’m Cindy.”  Root ignores her.  Shaw doesn’t seem to notice, but Root is quickly reaching the end of Patience Road.  But she knows making a scene will likely result in a fight, which is not her desired outcome. 

Shaw rakes her eyes over Root’s body and licks her lips.  Root feels desire curling in her belly, but resists the temptation to pull Shaw forward and kiss her.  She moves her eyes from Shaw to Cindy pointedly.  Shaw turns around like she’s not sure what Root’s looking at.  Turning in Cindy’s arms means Cindy’s now clasping her arms around Shaw, resting them on the nape of her neck.  Root’s giving it two minutes then someone is getting their ass kicked, gunshot wound be damned.  At this point she’s not sure whether it’s going to be Cindy or Shaw.  Most likely Shaw.

Shaw pushes Cindy away angrily.  “Fuck off.”  But Cindy is either too drunk or too stupid to realize the danger.  “Come on baby…don’t be like that…”  Shaw pushes her stool back and stands up menacingly.  The bartender looks up sharply and Root decides to intervene.  She puts her hand on Shaw’s arm and Shaw immediately calms.  She tugs on her arm gently so Shaw turns to face her.  “Will you come home with me?”  Shaw nods yes immediately, somewhat eagerly.  Root sighs and throws a hundred on the bar.  “Keep the change.”           

The night’s turned chilly and Root shivers.  She wasn’t thinking clearly when she left the apartment and didn’t grab her jacket.  Obviously not too drunk, Shaw takes off her jacket and helps Root put it on, staying in her hoodie.  Shaw’s rarely cold and she’s finding the cool air bracing, chasing away the alcohol fog in her brain.  Root’s pretty angry, but she can’t keep her arm from linking Shaw’s as they walk. 

They don’t talk and by the time they walk into the apartment the silence stretches between them like a graveyard at midnight.  Root takes off Shaw’s jacket and winces when she accidentally lets it hit her wound.  “Shit Root, I forgot.  I’m sorry.”  Root breathes through the pain until the throbbing eases.  “It’s okay.”  But Shaw looks miserable.  “No, it’s not.”

Root’s not sure if Shaw means everything’s not okay or it’s not okay she forgot Root was shot.  “Sameen…I shouldn’t have taken you on the mission.  I wasn’t thinking.  I’m sorry.”  Shaw doesn’t answer for a long time.  “It wasn’t the mission.”  Root waits but it doesn’t seem Shaw is going to say anything else.  “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah order whatever, I’m going to take a shower.”  Root watches her walk away.  She’s tired of pizza so she orders Chinese.   When Shaw comes out of the shower she looks better.  “Sorry I left.”  Root looks at her pensively.  “Can we talk about it?”  Shaw tenses but after a moment drops her shoulders.  Root knows it means Shaw will listen but not necessarily engage.

She grabs them both water and sits at the kitchen counter.  Shaw remains standing looking for all the world like she’s about to bolt.  “Can you tell me why you left?”  Shaw sighs and looks down.  “It felt like I was imploding.  I just needed out.”  Root thinks for a minute.  “Can you tell me why?”  Shaw exhales slowly.  “I didn’t protect you.”

“Sam, I can take care of myself.  Besides, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.”  Shaw looks at her.  “I was also angry.”  Root’s not surprised, anger’s Shaw’s default emotion, but she’s curious.  “Why?”

“The guy who shot you.  He was one of the gunmen you shot outside.”  Understanding dawns on Root.  “You can’t let them live Root.  If you can’t tie them up, they need to be dead.  Otherwise they’ll kill you.”  Root’s not sure she disagrees but they’re on a slippery slope.  Giving Shaw tacit approval to kill every agent they come across seems dangerous.  “Sam, we can’t lose our humanity to them.”  Shaw walks away angrily.

“That’s just it Root.  Humanity is at stake.  They didn’t kill me because they had a more horrid fate in store.  You think they were concerned with my humanity?  You think they even understand what that means?”  Root’s saved from answering by the arrival of the delivery guy.  Shaw pays him and starts to unpack the food.  Root grabs a beer for herself.  The pain pills wore off a while ago and she’s feeling the burn.

She takes the time to turn on the sound system playing Shaw’s favorite band, 21 Pilots.  Shaw digs in, ravenous since she hasn’t eaten since breakfast.  Root picks at the broccoli chicken, not hungry but knowing she needs to eat.  While they eat Root considers Shaw’s words.  While Shaw was missing, Root killed a lot of Samaritan operatives.  She can’t be a hypocrite and pretend she doesn’t know what Shaw’s talking about.  She tormented herself continuously wishing she had killed Martine when she had the chance.  It might have made all the difference.  Was she willing to risk Shaw again or any of the team? 

“Okay Sam.”  Shaw looks up, taking a second to figure out what Root is talking about.  “I hear what you’re saying.  I’ve wondered a million times if things would have been different if I had killed Martine at the church instead of letting her walk out.  I won’t make that mistake again.”  Shaw nods once.

When they’re done eating Root starts to pick up but Shaw stops her.  “Go sit.”  Root’s relieved and gravitates to the couch, scrolling through their saved movies.  She decides on Bitch Slap, needing a completely unrealistic distraction.  Plus hot chicks and violence are never a mistake.  When Shaw’s done she sits next to Root, intertwining their legs.

As they watch, Shaw caresses Root’s thigh, drawing abstract patterns with her fingers.  Root leans her head on Shaw’s shoulder.  Shaw’s clearly not interested in the movie.  She lifts Root’s chin with her finger and stares into her eyes, finding comfort and home.  Root’s scent permeates her senses and she’s drunk all over again, warm and cozy and safe.  Her hand caresses the nape of Root’s neck as she leans in and captures her lips.  Root tastes like beer and fortune cookie.  Sweet and salty, a combination that sends waves of pleasure through Shaw’s mouth.   Root moans, shivering. 

They break apart, chests heaving, breathless, their foreheads touching.  “Root…I want you.”  Root wants nothing more than to lose herself in Shaw, oblivion swallowing thought.  “Sam, I’m not sure I can…”  But Shaw interrupts her.  “Let me take care of you…”  Root surrenders like the moon to the sun and Shaw leads her to the bedroom.

Root lies back, Shaw nestled between her legs, resting her head on Root’s abdomen taking care not to jostle her wounded side.  Root runs her fingers through Shaw’s hair slowly, luxuriating in the silky waves.  “About the bar…”  Root laughs softly.  “You don’t have to tell me.  I know nothing was going on.  I trust you.  But if I ever see another woman hanging off your neck like that you will be punished.”  Shaw looks up and smirks.  “Hmmm…that sounds like fun.”  _I should’ve known she’d like being punished._

“What about if it’s a guy?”  Clearly, Shaw’s feeling playful.  “I’ll kick his ass and you’ll do without until I forget about it.”  Shaw frowns.  “That’s no fun.”  Root stares down at her keenly.  “Which part of ‘you’re mine’ don’t you get?”  Shaw sputters.  “I do not belong…”  But as she looks up at Root, she doesn’t continue protesting.  Instead she places soft kisses along her midriff, her hand drifting up to stroke Root’s breast.  Root’s breath hitches and Shaw smiles into her body.

She slowly kisses down her thigh, letting her hands wander.  Mindful of Root’s wounded side, she keeps her touches slow and gentle.  She approaches Root’s sex with reverence, like a sinner in prayer, licking her folds almost imperceptibly and letting her warm breath caress her clit.  Using the tip of her tongue she opens Root's outer folds, kissing her inner lips softly.  She slides her tongue over them down one side and up the other sucking very gently.  Flattening her tongue, she licks from the base of Root's sex, tasting every inch to just under her clit, intoxicated by her scent.  Root’s breathing fast, the pain from her wound lancing her side as pleasure floods her body.

Shaw licks Root’s clit languidly, seconds between each swipe of her tongue.  She keeps licking using the bottom of her tongue on the way down.  Root whimpers.  “Sam…please…”  Shaw keeps tasting and licking, until Root’s trembling uncontrollably under her mouth.  She can feel Root’s stomach muscles clenching and knows Root has to be feeling some pain.  “Are you okay…”  Root takes a deep breath.  “Mmmm...intense…don’t stop.” 

Keeping her mouth on her center, Shaw enters Root, making her hiss.  With her free hand she reaches up and Root clenches it, raising her hips slightly to meet Shaw’s mouth.  Using two fingers, Shaw thrusts carefully against her g-spot, while lapping at her clit.  She takes it into her mouth, sucking gently, then releases, flicking it softly in rhythm with her thrusts.  Root moans loudly.  “Don’t stop…”  Her orgasm builds relentlessly and she forgets all about the gunshot wound and the war and anything other than Shaw’s tongue and fingers riding her, driving her higher and higher until her climax breaks, flushing her body with intense pleasure.  Shaw gentles her through it until Root stops clenching and she withdraws her fingers.  Giving Root's sex a last kiss, she pulls herself up to lie next to Root, ghosting her lips over Root’s, nuzzling into her neck.

Root’s breath slowly returns to normal.  “You can take care of me anytime sweetie.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and laughs.  “But I think I tore my stitches.”  Shaw examines the wound, there’s slight bleeding through the stitches, but they didn’t tear.  She brings Root two more pain pills and pulls the comforter over them.  “Don’t be a baby.  You’re fine.”

Shaw’s soaking wet and decides to take care of herself too.  She reaches over to the nightstand and pulls out a vibrator from the drawer.  Root raises her eyebrows and Shaw grins.  “Hey, a girl’s got needs.”  She turns the vibrator on and rubs it over her nipples, making them hard instantly.  Root licks her fingers and reaches over, pushing the vibrator aside and rubbing and tugging on Shaw’s nipples, her eyes glued on Shaw’s hands.

Shaw runs the vibrator down her body to her sex, delicately circling her clit, applying the slightest amount of pressure on her hood.  She graduates down to her labia running the vibrator up and down.  “Sam you’re so hot…”  Root’s look sears her skin and she inhales sharply when she feels Root’s hand on top of her own, guiding the vibrator.  “Let me help you with that…”

Root takes control and slowly penetrates Shaw with the vibrator, biting on her lower lip.  Shaw bucks into her hand and grips the headboard, arching her back.  Root penetrates her with just the tip, pushing in and out lightly as Shaw’s juices provide lubrication.  Gradually she increases the depth and speed, rubbing Shaw’s g-spot with every stroke.  Shaw tries to control her thrusting, not wanting to hurt Root and breathes slowly, letting her orgasm build.  Root feels Shaw’s body tensing.  “Come for me Sam…”  And Shaw lets go, coming hard, tension bleeding from her body.

Root withdraws gently as Shaw releases her death grip on the headboard.  “I want to taste you…”  Shaw looks over and leers.  “Not that I’m opposed, but I think you’re getting a little ambitious.”  Root sighs in frustration, but Shaw’s right.  Her side is on fire and any more movement will probably lead to torn stitches.  “Fine.  But we’re revisiting the subject tomorrow.”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “Whatever you say…” 

Shaw almost throws her leg over Root in her usual sleep position but remembers her injury at the last minute.  She finds herself annoyed she can’t cuddle up the way she wants.  Root senses her distress and pulls her arm over her body.  “I’m fine…just be gentle.”  Shaw rests her leg over Root’s and sighs contentedly as they drift off to sleep.


	13. PTSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am so very sorry Ms. Shaw.”
> 
> Shaw looks at him indifferently. “I’m not an expert on feelings Finch, but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the more useless ones.” Finch looks down and doesn’t reply. “What would be useful is employing every means at our disposal to destroy Samaritan once and for all. Otherwise all the “sorry” in the world isn’t going to stop it from killing every last one of us along with humanity’s free will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 after Shaw gets back.
> 
> Anyway I rewrote Chapter 9 of New World Order in case you guys want to check it out. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!

When Root wakes in the morning Shaw’s gone, her side of the bed cold.  Root knows she shouldn’t worry, but she’s not sure Shaw is altogether herself yet.  She starts to ask the Machine, but she knows at some point she’s going to have to trust Shaw to take care of herself.  The Machine will let her know if Shaw’s in danger.  So instead she wanders into the kitchen to start the coffee.

When she goes to shower she finds medical supplies next to the bathroom sink.  There’s no note, but they’re laid out in the order necessary to change her dressing.  There’s a plastic bandage to use while she bathes to keep the wound dry.  Even when she’s not around Shaw manages to take her breath away.  A warm feeling suffuses her body and she smiles as she steps into the shower.

Shaw woke up early and decided to head to the subway.  When she arrives, no one else is there.  When she was here briefly the other day, she didn’t really absorb the nuances, preferring to leave as soon as possible.  Nothing’s changed and yet everything’s different.  She’s not uncomfortable exactly, but it’s like all her memories of the place belong to someone else.  It’s one of the consequences of the simulations.  Her memories, those she can be sure are hers anyway, feel distant, abstract.  There are no feelings associated with them, just pictures like a silent movie in her head.

The air is damp and the only sound is the whirring of the Machine in the background.  The sounds of the city can’t penetrate this far below ground.  She remembers the last time she slept on the camp cot after her cover was blown.  Well it wasn’t actually ‘sleep’ per se.  She was unconscious after Root tranqued her to prevent her from going after John.  Noticing Bear’s bed she walks over and sees one of her favorite t-shirts has become his blanket.  She smiles when she notices it’s the one Root gave her.  “Good Morning.  I see the assassins have failed.”  _Ain’t that the truth?_

She opens the gun locker and removes her guns one at a time, laying them out to clean.  The only one missing is the one she used at the exchange, her Sig P226.  Knowing Martine, she probably kept it as a sick souvenir.  The others are still loaded as if she just walked away from them for a minute.  They’re unfamiliar in her hand, like they don’t belong to her anymore.  She realizes the reasons aren’t just in her head.  She’s lost so much weight and acquired new scars, so the grips don’t fit the same.

She starts the ritual with her Beretta Nano, ejecting the magazine and retracting the slide to eject the chambered round.  She field strips it and sets out her cleaning supplies.  She cleans the barrel first, applying oil to the bore-cleaning brush and inserting it into the barrel from the chamber, scrubbing the chamber and bore thoroughly and cleaning the barrel locking lug.  Next she takes a cloth soaked in gun oil and cleans the slide, paying particular attention to the breach face, extractor, slide rails, and locking shoulders.  She lightly oils the spring gun assembly and the cocking lever and ejector.  Finally she makes sure the magazine is thoroughly clean and the follower slides easily downward.

Her hands’ muscle memories allow her to perform the task without conscious effort and the smell of the gun oil comforts.  It lulls her into a meditative state, almost dissociative.  She’s momentarily confused when the tap and drag of Finch’s limp snaps her mind back to reality.  He’s obviously startled when he notices her but recovers quickly.  “Ms. Shaw…good morning.” 

“How’s it hanging Finch?”  He flinches at the slightly vulgar phrase but replies with dry humor.  “At the moment, ‘it’ and by ‘it’ I mean humanity’s survival, is dangling by a thread…How are you faring Ms. Shaw?”  Shaw reassembles the Nano and stores the other guns back in the locker before answering.  “Not bad for someone who’s spent the last nine months killing herself over and over again in her mind while some malevolent computer tried to suck her very thoughts from her brain.”  Although her voice carries no inflection Finch feels it like the accusation it is intended to be.  “I am so very sorry Ms. Shaw.”

Shaw looks at him indifferently.  “I’m not an expert on feelings Finch, but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the more useless ones.”  Finch looks down and doesn’t reply.  “What would be useful is employing every means at our disposal to destroy Samaritan once and for all.  Otherwise all the 'sorry' in the world isn’t going to stop it from killing every last one of us along with humanity’s free will.”

“It’s not that simple Ms. Shaw.  What would be the difference between the Machine and Samaritan if I open the system and arm her, so to speak?”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “Well for one we’d be alive and Samaritan might actually be dead.”  Shaw fights the urge to punch him right in his face.  She can feel his glasses crunching as blood drips from his nose.  But Root would be disappointed and it wouldn’t accomplish anything.  Shaw hates to disappoint Root although she’d never admit it.  Plus John would certainly kick her ass.

“You have no idea what Samaritan and Decima are capable of Finch.  It’s not just about humanity’s free will.  They kill everyone they can find that Samaritan labels an enemy or even just obstructionist.  Have you heard from Vigilance lately Harold?  No, because they’re all dead.  That's what Samaritan does to anyone who dares try to expose the truth.”

“Ms. Shaw I understand why you feel…”  But Shaw interrupts, rage vamping her body.  “No, you don’t.  If they'd caught you Finch, you’d be dead. We need the Machine at full capacity to have a prayer in hell.  What you’re doing is like giving an army guns but withholding the bullets, forcing them to club their way to victory.  It’s not going to happen.  You’re dooming us all.  The team and those people you’re so obsessed with protecting.”

“I will take everything you’ve said under advisement Ms. Shaw and will give it serious consideration.”  Shaw knows she needs to leave now, no longer sure she can control the rage consuming her very soul.  “Yeah, you do that Finch.” Without another word she walks out.

When she hits the street, the sounds overwhelm her.  Voices and horns and engines rumbling.  Her mind is racing and she’s carried along by the flow of people rushing down the sidewalk.  The car fumes intermingle with the smell of the Chinatown restaurants making her nauseous.  She has a flashback, a crowded street, John walking in front of her, John lying on the concrete, blood pooling under him.  Vertigo hits her suddenly and she can’t breathe.  She hits the concrete hard, passing out.

When she wakes, she’s back in the subway lying on the cot, Root sitting nearby.  She stirs and Root comes over.  “Hey sweetie, how’re you feeling?”  Shaw sits up slowly, another mild bout of dizziness hitting her.  “How did you find me?”  Root helps her sit up.  “The Machine told me you were in trouble.  I called Harry and John found you a couple of blocks from here, with a crowd gathered around you and an ambulance on the way.  I got here as soon as I could.  Do you remember what happened?”

“I was talking to Finch and I was furious.  I left and I remember feeling nauseous and dizzy…I had a flashback to one of the simulations.  The last thing I remember is hitting the sidewalk.”  With the memory comes the awareness of physical pain.  Her check is swollen and bloody from the fall and her hands are scraped and her body’s sore.

“It’s going to take you a while to get back to normal.”  Shaw scowls.  “Don’t patronize me Root.  I’m well aware I’m describing symptoms of PTSD.  Where are John and Finch?”  Root sits down on the cot.  “A number came in and they went to investigate.”

“Since when does Finch go out to investigate numbers?”  Root sighs.  She realizes handling Shaw with kid gloves might convey the wrong impression.   She doesn’t want Shaw to feel Root thinks she’s weak.  “He told me about the argument and I told him it was best if he wasn’t here when you woke up.”  Shaw frowns but she can’t deny she’s glad he’s not here.

“I want to get out of here.  I’m going home.”  Root puts on her jacket, but Shaw doesn’t move.  “I don’t need an escort.”  Root finds herself growing impatient.  “Sam, cut it out.  I’m not babying you.  I don’t have a number at the moment and the boys don’t need my help.  If and when I need to leave, I will.  Now come on.”  Shaw stops to grab a gun on her way out.  Root doesn’t think it’s necessary but wisely doesn’t comment.  They make their way home in silence.

When they get home Root grabs her laptop and starts working on a new program she’s coding.  A modified version of the funtenna hack used by Samaritan.   If she can replicate the program, they might be able to use it to eavesdrop on the messages Samaritan is sending its operatives. 

Shaw brings out her body opponent bag, which she affectionately calls Bob and changes into workout clothes.  After spending an hour practicing first strike scenarios she decides to go for a run.  She wants to avoid crowds so she heads to North Hudson Park where the only noise is the sound of the tour helicopters.   The park is not crowded and although it’s hot, the humidity is low.  The abundant trees provide cool shade along the trails.  She does five miles on one of the running paths before she finally feels her mind calm and heads back home.

When she gets back Root is still coding and obviously didn’t notice Shaw was gone.  She hears the door and looks up.  “Where are you going sweetie?”  Shaw snickers.  “You mean where have I been for the last two hours?”  Root stretches her arms and sets her laptop aside.  She looks closely at Shaw.  “Hmmm…it looks like you need a shower.  Smells like it too.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and heads to the bathroom.

When she comes out of the shower Root’s lying on the couch watching Wrong Turn.  She pounces on top of her and Root lets out an exaggerated oomph.  “You do remember I’m recovering from a bullet wound right?”  Shaw looks chagrinned.  Clearly she didn't remember.  Root makes a show of checking her stitches.  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “I’m hungry.”  Root raises her eyebrows.  “When are you not?”  Shaw scowls.  “I’m ordering Thai.”  She doesn’t bother to ask Root what she wants because she knows Root will say she’s not hungry.  She orders for both of them. 

When the food arrives she sits on the floor in front of the couch and spreads out the containers, handing Root the volcano shrimp she ordered for her.  Root takes the container but doesn’t eat.  Shaw stares at her and she takes the hint and picks up a fork.  She doesn’t put it past Shaw to force feed her if necessary.  She’s made credible threats before.  They eat in companionable silence while they finish watching the movie.

As she turns off the television Shaw feels Root staring at her.  She looks up and the look on Root’s face can best be described as a leer.  Innocently she asks, “Feel like a nap sweetie?”  Shaw smiles.  “A nap huh?  Is that what we're calling it now?”  Root starts undressing.  “Well actually by nap I mean I want my desert and you’re it.”  When she’s naked she grabs Shaw by the hand and pulls her into the bedroom.  “I’m wounded so you’ll have to undress yourself but I want to watch.”

Root sets up some pillows and lies down on her back.  Ever practical, Shaw undresses in 10 seconds flat.  She pouts.  “Sameen, that was no fun.”  Shaw raises her eyebrows.  “Seeing me naked isn’t fun?  Usually you’re drooling by this point.”  Root sighs in frustration.  “Get over here.  I’m horny and hungry for you.”  Shaw obliges.


	14. Spin Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw walks over to the roundabout. “Spin me.” Root smiles and gives it a push. “There was a base in Qandahar where my dad was stationed for a while. There was a park for the kids and it had one of these. I used to go and spin for hours. It felt like an escape. During the worst of the torture I let my mind wander to that base. I brought you with me and we spun around looking at the stars. They were so bright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 of Shaw's return.
> 
> There's an allusion to rape, but it didn't actually happen.

Shaw surges into awareness struggling for breath, her heart pounding so hard in her chest, it’s a physical pain.  Root lies next to her snuggled into her pillow.   She takes deep breaths trying to calm the terror consuming her.  Vague memories of her dream resurface.  Putting the gun to her head, over and over.  Watching Root’s anguished face.  Martine’s voice, her touch, her smell.  She barely makes it to the bathroom, where she wretches until there’s nothing but bile and then slides down the bathroom wall landing roughly on the cold floor.

She can’t fight the scene playing in her mind.  Hanging helpless in a room straight from hell.  Spread eagle.  The cock penetrating her over and over.  A hot mouth on her throat, fingers pinching her nipple viciously, nails clawing into her hip.  Root’s face but it can’t be Root.  Not in that room.  A wet mouth on her clit, fingers driving into her relentlessly, everywhere, no escape.  The screams ripped from her throat until she was raw.

Shaw doesn’t remember getting dressed or leaving the apartment, but next thing she knows, she’s back at the Brass Rail, a line of shot glasses empty in front of her on the bar.  Martine walks in, but that can’t be right.  Root said she’s dead.  Shaw shakes her head in confusion and closes her eyes.  When she opens them, there’s no one there and the bartender is looking at her warily.

Root hears what sounds like an alarm and groggily pries her eyes open.  Awareness dawns slowly but she snaps awake when the Machine starts talking in her ear.  _Shaw._   She throws on some clothes and rushes from the apartment.  At least this time she knows where’s she’s going.

When she walks in, the bartender clearly recognizes her and nods his head towards the back.  Not that Shaw would be hard to spot.  She’s the only one in the bar in the middle of the day.  She’s at the pool table sloppily taking a shot.  Root lets out a slow breath and walks over, taking a seat at a high-top behind her.  Shaw’s focused on her shot and curses when she misses the ball and the pool stick grazes the felt.  Root exhales a short laugh.  

Shaw seems to take notice of her slowly and leaves her pool stick on the table, making her way to the high-top where Root’s sitting.  “Hey sweetie.”  Shaw slots in between Root’s legs and lays her head on Root’s shoulder, letting her hands rest on Root’s thighs.  Root runs her fingers through Shaw’s hair soothingly.   For a moment she thinks Shaw’s fallen asleep, but then she feels Shaw’s tears on her collarbone.

Shaw whispers something, but it’s too low for Root to hear.  Gently she pushes Shaw back a little so she can look at her.  “What did you say sweetie?”  Shaw won’t look her in the eyes but she repeats herself, the words coming out in a rush.  “notsafe.”  Root’s heart breaks as she pulls Shaw into her body.  “I’ll keep you safe Sameen.  I promise.  Come on, let’s get you home.”

By the time they get home, Shaw’s falling down drunk and Root struggles to get her clothes off and into bed.  She brings Shaw a washcloth soaked in cold water and places it on her forehead.  Shaw remains passive, a faraway look in her eyes.  Root brings her PowerAde and some prophylactic aspirin.  After all the drinking Shaw’s done in the last couple of days, she has to be dehydrated.  Shaw takes the pills and drinks the entire bottle.

Root crawls into bed behind her, holding her close.  Shaw doesn’t say anything but Root can feel the tears hit her arm as they stream silently down Shaw’s face.  Root has never seen Shaw cry and she feels utterly helpless.  Shaw cries herself out silently and drifts off.  Root watches her sleep, determined to be right there when she wakes up.

She tucks the comforter snugly around Shaw and sits up, leaning back against the headboard.  She pulls her laptop over from the nightstand and stares into the camera.  She doesn’t want to wake Shaw but she’s not willing to leave her side either, so she opens a command window and types a message for the Machine.  “I need to know what happened to her.  Show me.” 

Root feels Shaw stir and closes the laptop, shocked to find she’s been watching for over six hours.  She carefully schools her face before she looks up.  Shaw has her back turned and gets up without looking at her.  But she only walks a few steps and stops.  “Thanks for staying,” she whispers, still not looking at Root as she closes the bathroom door.  Root hears the shower turn on and she rubs her tired eyes, wondering what she should do.  She can’t think, so she decides to do what she’s always done when it comes to Shaw.  Follow her heart. 

She knocks lightly on the door, but when Shaw doesn’t answer, she opens it slowly.  Steam immediately hits her face.  Shaw’s standing under the spray, her eyes closed, arms braced against the shower wall, her head hanging down.  Root undresses and steps in behind her.  She squirts some bath gel into her hands and starts kneading Shaw’s shoulders and neck.  Shaw stiffens momentarily but then relaxes into the touch.  Root grabs the shampoo and washes Shaw’s hair while she massages her scalp.  When she’s done, Shaw turns around and leans into her, kissing her collarbone before she steps out.

When Root comes out of the shower, Shaw’s lying down on the bed, Root’s laptop open next to her.  She looks up impassively.  “Sam…I’m sorry.”  Root can’t imagine a scenario where this ends well.  “Sorry for what?  For what happened to me?  For invading my privacy?  Or for my turning into an even more fucked up version of myself?”  Root winces at the tone.  Shaw hasn’t spoken to her like that in a long time.

“Only for what happened to you.”  Shaw looks angry, which is what Root intended.  Well, not for her to get angry per se but for her to snap out of the catatonic state she seems to be falling into.  “I needed to know.”  Shaw closes the laptop slowly and carefully.  When she looks up, Root feels like she’s been slapped.  The look of utter contempt on her face sears her skin with its intensity.  “Oh, in that case.  Since it’s what _you_ needed.  By all means, feel free to rape my memories.”

The sound of the slap shocks them both.  Root’s hand stings and the impression of her fingers on Shaw’s face is blossoming starkly.  She takes a deep breath.  “I am not going to let you push me away.  I needed to know because you need to know what’s real.  Not just what’s real right now, but what actually happened to you.” 

“Fuck you.  You have no idea…” Shaw yells angrily.  As she starts to storm out, Root steps in front of her.  Shaw lashes out, twisting Root’s arm savagely behind her back and throwing her against the wall.  But as Shaw heads for the door, Root swings her foot out, yanking Shaw’s leg out from under her.  She goes down hard, her head bouncing off the floor.  Their breaths sound harsh in the sudden quiet.  Shaw sits up slowly.  “You had no right.” 

Root pants softly.  “You didn’t kill the scientist.  Martine didn’t rape you.”  Shaw looks at her defiantly, but Root sees the hope in her eyes.  “They were both simulations.  The rape simulation was supposed to make you think it was me.  But your mind wouldn’t accept it, so you turned it into Martine.  They were trying to give you every possible motivation to betray the team.  You didn’t.”

Shaw shakes her head.  “It doesn’t make it feel any less real.”  Root stands up slowly.  “But now you know.  If you still want to leave, I’m not going to stop you.  But if you don’t come back, I will go after you.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and scowls, but there’s a small smile at the corner of her lips.  “Nice to see some things never change.”

“Sam, I’m not going to let you self-destruct.  If you know what you need, tell me.  I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you need.  But if you don’t, then I’m going to keep doing whatever I think is best for you and for us.  You didn’t fight your way back from hell to let them win anyway.”  Root reaches out her hand and Shaw takes it, pulling herself slowly to her feet.  “I fought my way back for you.  To you.”

 “I know.  I’m right here, Sam.  I’m right here.”

Shaw makes her way to the door.  “I need some air.”  She walks out, but leaves the door open behind her.  Root starts to walk over to close it.  “Are you coming?”  Root didn’t see that one coming at all.  She doesn’t answer, but grabs her jacket and follows Shaw down the stairs.

It seems to Root they’re just meandering, but they end up at a park.  Shaw walks over to the roundabout.  “Spin me.”  Root smiles and gives it a push.  “There was a base in Qandahar where my dad was stationed for a while.  There was a park for the kids and it had one of these.  I used to go and spin for hours.  It felt like an escape.  During the worst of the torture I let my mind wander to that base.  I brought you with me and we spun around looking at the stars.  They were so bright.”

Root gives a hard push and jumps up, tugging Shaw’s hand until they’re lying down staring at the night sky.  “I know it wasn’t easy for you Root.  You can tell me about it.”  Root looks over at her.  “It’s nothing compared to what you went through Sam.”

“It’s not about comparing.”  Shaw sighs, obviously struggling with what she wants to say.  “I know I never wanted to talk, much less about feelings; and I’m not saying I understand feelings all of a sudden.  But you always made me feel, even when I didn’t want to admit it.  Mostly exasperated, but you also made me feel safe, needed, and wanted.  I need to feel that way again.  I need to feel something that makes me feel good…you’re the only thing that ever made me feel good.  Not just content or satisfied.  Good.”

Root lays her hand on top of Shaw’s.  “I had nightmares every night.  It was always the same.  You on the floor in a pool of blood, my screaming, Martine standing over you.  But it was even worse when I was awake.  I walked around with this constant ache.  A physical pain there was no escaping.  I hated Harold and the Machine.  Sometimes I even hated you…for not letting me stay with you and fight.”  Shaw understands the feeling no matter how illogical.  Sometimes she hated Root for not finding her.

They lie on the still roundabout for while longer lost in their thoughts.


	15. Missing Root

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Root's missing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 after Shaw's return.

When they get back to the apartment Shaw’s exhausted, but Root’s too wired to go to sleep.  “I’ll be in soon Sam, I just want to finish this section of code.”  Shaw knows that means Root will be up most of the night, but she’s too tired to argue.

When Shaw wakes in the morning, Root’s not in bed.  She expects to find her in the living room asleep at the table or still coding, but when she walks out to the living room, Root’s not there.  Her laptop is on the floor lying on its side.  Shaw looks to the front door.  It’s closed but unlocked.  She checks the kitchen but there’s no note from Root and no signs she made coffee this morning.  Not that they tell each other everything but Root always leaves her a note if she leaves before Shaw gets up.  Always.  Especially since Shaw came back.  She calls her, but the call goes immediately to voicemail.  A heavy weight settles in her stomach.

She checks the fridge where they store their weapons.  Shaw’s heart rate spikes.  None are missing.  She gets dressed and heads to the subway.  When she walks in Finch looks up from his computer.  “Good morning Ms…” but Shaw cuts him off.  “Is Root on a mission for you?”  Finch looks at her worriedly.  “No, she told me she wouldn’t work any irrelevant numbers unless… it was an emergency.  Why?”

The team still doesn’t know Root and Shaw live together, but they assume they’ve been staying together anyway since Shaw came back.  “I can’t reach her and I found her laptop discarded on the floor and the door to the apartment closed but unlocked.”  Shaw ignores the sweat breaking out on her forehead. 

“The Machine may have called her away Ms. Shaw.”  Shaw scowls at him.  “And she left without her laptop?  Or any weapons?  Or locking the door?  Ask it.”  Finch accesses the Machine but it has no information.  “Maybe we can access camera feeds near the apartment?”  But Shaw just nods her head no.  The apartment in New Jersey is completely devoid of any camera coverage.  Coverage doesn’t begin until the toll to the Holland Tunnel.

“Root was working on some code last night.  Do you know what she was working on?”  Harold hesitates.  Shaw’s anger’s slowly reaching the boiling point.  “Tell me Finch.  If something happens to her...”  Finch stands up and walks into the subway car.  Shaw follows him and he explains.  “There’s a company that may have a breakthrough on a new encryption program which allows communication between two computers undetectable by any intrusion detection software.  Ms. Groves was trying to obtain a copy to evaluate its use against Samaritan.” 

“So Root was trying to steal software from a company whose developers are smart enough to create an undetectable virus?”  Finch nods yes.  “And that didn’t seem risky to either of you?”  Shaw’s words are laced with barely contained rage.  “The potential benefits outweighed the risks.  If we can replicate the program, it might give us a way to destroy Samaritan once and for all.”  Shaw practically growls.  “Not if she’s dead Finch.”

John walks in and saves Finch from a tongue-lashing.  John looks at both of them.  “Finch.  Shaw.  Is there a problem?”  Shaw takes a deep breath and looks at John.  “Root’s missing.”  John’s face reveals nothing but he immediately understands what’s necessary.  “How do we find her?”

Shaw hands Root’s computer to Finch.  “Maybe you can see what she was working on last.”  Finch plugs the computer into his network.  “I doubt Ms. Groves has key logger software on her laptop.”  But he immediately looks up and Shaw can see by the grave look on his face she’s not going to like the answer.  “It will take me days, if it’s even possible, to break her password.  I’m afraid the computer isn’t going to help us find Ms. Groves.”

John decides to intervene before Shaw unleashes her rage on Finch.  “What company, Finch?”  Finch looks even more uncomfortable.  “I’m not sure.  She never told me.”  Shaw turns slowly and looks at him.  “You are fucking unbelievable.”  But John puts his hand on Shaw’s shoulder before she can say anything else.  “We’ll find her.”

Finch thinks for a moment.  “It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out which software companies are capable of developing such tech and narrow it down from there.”  Shaw just stares at him and Finch immediately gets to work.  “What about Root’s hacker nerds?  Would one of them know?”  Finch shrugs his shoulders unhelpfully.  Shaw starts to walk out.  “I’m going to find them.”  John follows her.

“What about Root’s phone?  Did she take it with her?”  Shaw stops in the middle of the sidewalk.   “I’m not sure.  I didn’t see it, but I didn’t look for it either.”  John stands patiently waiting.  “Let’s go look,” Shaw finally decides.  When they get back to the apartment John makes no comments about the obvious signs of cohabitation and asks no questions.  They start to search and John finds the phone under the couch.  “It either landed here by mistake or Root kicked it under here for a reason.”

John hands Shaw the phone.  “But its password protected.”  Root’s never told her but Shaw thinks she knows the password.  She thinks for a minute and types a few keystrokes.  The phone unlocks, showing Root’s home screen.  John knows better than to comment.

Shaw looks through the contacts and finds a number labeled Jason.  She hits enter.  “Hey Root.”  Shaw takes a deep breath.  “It’s Shaw.  Root’s missing.  I need to know what she was working on.”  Jason takes a second to catch up.  “I’m not sure.  I haven’t heard from her in weeks.  Maybe Daizo knows.  I’ll call him.”  Shaw sighs.  “Call me right back.”

While they wait, John walks around and Shaw packs a duffle with weapons and equipment.  “It doesn’t look like there was forced entry.  How could they’ve taken Root without you hearing?”  Shaw doesn’t bother to question his assumption.  There’s no time for games.  “I was exhausted and the bedroom door was closed, but still.  I’m an extremely light sleeper.  I have no idea.”  John goes out to the hallway but sees nothing suspicious.

When he walks back in, Shaw’s just finishing a conversation.  “She ordered a pizza.  The place says their delivery guy never came back.”  Before John can comment the phone rings.  Shaw answers.  She listens for a few seconds and then hangs up without a word.  “Darth Technologies.  Daizo told Jason that’s who Root was trying to hack.  They were supposed to meet today to work on it, but Root never called.”

John calls Finch.  “We need an address Finch.  Darth Technologies.”  Finch finds their digital footprint.  “This could certainly be one of the companies capable of producing the technology.  Their office address is an office park in the financial district.”  John hangs up.  “Let’s go.  They’re downtown.”

When Shaw and John exit the subway at the Bowling Green station, they immediately find the building.  But unlike every other building in the area, there is no security out front and the place is locked down like a fortress.  There are hundreds of pedestrians streaming by and it’s unlikely they’d be able to get in through the front without drawing unwanted attention.  “There’s no way we’re going to get through that door John.  At least not without letting everyone know we’re here.”

Shaw follows him down the alley to the back of the building.  “We’re going to have to go in hot.”  John calls Finch.  “We need the building schematics Finch.”  John hears typing.  “You may be able to get in through the heating duct on top of the building.  It looks like only the top two floors have offices.  The rest seems to be an open warehouse, maybe a manufacturing site.”

John jumps up and lowers the fire escape ladder.  They make their way to the roof quickly.  Shaw uses a blowtorch to get the access grate to the heating duct open.  She hands two flash-bang grenades to John and pushes the duffle in ahead of her before climbing into the duct.  After a few yards she comes across the first air vent.  It opens into what looks like a storage room.  She pops the vent and jumps down silently, John behind her.

As she moves to open the door, John stops her.  “We need to move cautiously.  If they find us before we find Root, they might hurt her.”  Shaw yanks her arm out of his grip.  “You mean if they haven’t already.”  But she does stop to listen before she yanks the door open.  They step out covering each other’s back.  They’re at the end of a long hallway.  The next room has a long window.  Shaw approaches slowly and glances in quickly.  It’s an empty conference room.

As they start down the hall, a door ahead of them opens.  A man with a gun in a hip holster steps out.  Without thought, she lunges and grabs him in a head lock, holding him until he crumples to the floor unconscious.  While John keeps watch, she zip-ties and gags him, dragging him into the empty conference room.  They check out the rest of the floor but don’t come across anyone else.  They start down the stairwell to the lower floor.

When they reach the landing, they stop and listen but there are no sounds coming from the hall outside the door.  As they step out from the stairwell, they hear voices, but they’re too muffled to make out.  John signals Shaw.  She’s going to open the door and he’ll throw a flash-bang inside then duck in to assess the situation.  In the brief second after the door opens, Shaw makes out at least three people.  The minute John tosses in the grenade they move into the room. 

Gun shots ring out from the right side, but the person must be disoriented by the flash-bang because the shots are wild and nowhere near their location.  The room is filled with smoke and the acrid smell of gun fire.  Shaw shoots the gunman center mass and pivots to search for the others.  She hears a grunt as she rounds a door at the back of the room.  When she looks in, John’s standing over another bound and gagged man.  As Shaw steps into the room, John yells.  “Down!”  Shaw drops to the ground rolling out of the doorway as John shoots into the room they just came from. 

Something clatters to the floor and they hear a voice.  “You’re trapped in there, so come out with your hands up.”  It’s not an ideal situation, but there’s no way Shaw’s surrendering.  She shoves her gun into the small of her back and moves into the doorway with her hands in the air.  John follows her out the door.  A woman steps out from behind a desk.  She’s holding a pistol in her right hand, but her left hand is bleeding.  Shaw steps to the left, while John moves to her right.  She can’t cover both of them at the same time.

“Stop right there.”  John gives her a tight smile.  “We’re just looking for our friend.  Tell us where she is and we’ll be on our way.”  The woman grimaces and its obvious she’s in pain.  While John’s talking she points the gun at him.  Shaw immediately draws and fires, hitting the woman in the right shoulder.  She drops the gun and John’s there before she can even look up.  He kicks the gun out of the way and looks down at the woman but says nothing.

Shaw looms over her.  “Spare yourself some pain and give us our friend back.”  The woman gives them a smug, although pain-filled look.  “You’re too late.  She’s gone.”  Shaw slams the butt of her gun into the woman’s nose and she passes out.  Shaw's hands are shaking and sweat is pooling at the small of her back.  _What if I’m too late?_

John bends down and zip-ties and gags the woman.  He’s not too concerned if she drowns in her own blood.  Shaw turns around and walks out the door.  John follows her quickly.  “Shaw, she’s probably lying.  We’re going to search every inch of this place.”  Shaw looks at him blankly and says nothing.  She starts opening the other rooms on the floor quickly.  They don’t find anyone else and head down onto the warehouse floor.  The entire area is filled with computer work stations, but no one seems to be around.

John calls Finch.  “We haven’t found her Finch.  Hack into their cameras and see what you can find.”  Shaw looks at John, waiting.  She hears Finch through her comm.  “They brought her in through the back at 3am.  I’m forwarding through the files to see if they brought her out…there’s no sign she left the building.” 

“Finch this is an open warehouse.  She’s not here.”  John hears Finch muttering.  “There’s an area in the southwest corner wall.  It seems as if there’s missing space.  According to the exterior dimensions, the room is ten square feet smaller than it should be.”  Shaw walks over and starts to feel the wall for any hidden switches or crevices, but she finds nothing.  John’s looking at her carefully.  If they don’t find Root, Shaw won’t be able to handle it.  He sees the way her eyes are darting about and she’s gripping her gun so hard, her knuckles are white.  “There’s nothing here but a workstation with a computer, Finch.”

“Give me a minute, I’m seeing something unusual in the security system.”  As Shaw stands there impassively, she hears a click and sees a section of the wall open.  “You couldn’t see anything because the locking mechanism is on the inside and controlled remotely through the security system.”

Shaw’s not listening anymore.  She steps quickly to the opening and walks inside.  Root’s handcuffed to a stretcher.  There’s a hood over her head and her feet are zip-tied.  She’s not moving and Shaw can’t tell if she’s breathing.  She stands by the door, not sure she can face what comes next.  John steps around her and walks over to Root.  He feels for a pulse.


	16. Dr. Sameen Shaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did they drug her with?” Shaw asks tersely. Before the woman says a word John warns her. “You better answer her or you’ll wish you were dead sooner rather than later.” The woman spits out blood. “Sodium amytal and haldol.”

“She’s alive Shaw.”  John’s words snap Shaw out of her paralysis.  She walks over quickly and falls into the rote of doctor mode.   She makes a conscious effort to see Root as a patient; otherwise she thinks she’ll fall apart.  Her pulse is thready, respiration depressed, and there are injection sites at the bend of both elbows.  Shaw picks up her right arm and drops it, rubs her sternum, and checks her pupils.  “She’s definitely unconscious.  Looks like they drugged her.  We need to know with what.”

John walks out without saying anything.  Shaw waits with Root.  There’s no air vent in the room and the air is humid.  The silence is absolute and all Shaw hears is her own ragged breathing.  She can’t look away from Root.  She’s even paler than usual and her rising chest is barely discernible.  Shaw knows they need to get her medical help quickly, but they need to know what caused her condition or they could end up killing her. 

John is back in a few minutes dragging the woman from upstairs with him.  Shaw turns slowly and stares at her with murderous rage; she’s still bleeding from her arm and hand and is barely conscious.  John allows her to fall onto the floor against the wall.

“What did they drug her with?” Shaw asks tersely.  Before the woman says a word John warns her.  “You better answer her or you’ll wish you were dead sooner rather than later.”  The woman spits out blood.  “Sodium amytal and haldol.” 

“Truth serum,” Shaw bites out.  “When was the last time she was drugged?”  It’s obvious their hostage considers not answering but something in Shaw’s eyes stops her.   “Around 6am.”  John replaces the gag.  “Does that matter?”

Shaw sighs.  “Yeah, it means we need drugs and medical equipment.  Let’s get her to the safe house.  I’ll call Finch.”  John picks up Root carefully.  “What about her?” John asks, pointing his head to the hostage.  Shaw answers indifferently.  “Someone will turn up eventually.  Or not.  She’ll live.  Or she won’t.”

When they get to the safe house, Finch is already there.  “Ms. Shaw I set everything up in the bedroom.”  Shaw doesn’t respond, but heads to the bedroom.  John lays Root on the bed and walks out, leaving Shaw to set up.  Shaw sets up the heart monitor and the IV drip with the phenylephrine and norepinephrine.  Now all they can do is wait. 

The last time Shaw was in this bedroom with Root was right before the stock exchange.  It seems like a lifetime ago.    

Finch walks into the bedroom and clears his throat.  Shaw refuses to look at him.  She’s furious at his lack of concern for Root and if she looks at him, she’s not sure what she’ll do.  “Ms. Shaw, is there anything else I can do?”  Shaw answers him without turning around.  “No.”  Finch waits, but leaves when Shaw doesn’t say anything else.

A couple of hours later Shaw walks out of the bedroom and is surprised to find John is still there.  Finch is gone.  “I brought food.  How is she?”  Shaw walks over to the containers, realizing she’s starving.  “She’s stable.  But she should be awake by now.”  John hands her a glass of Scotch neat.  Shaw drinks it in one gulp.  “Thanks…for everything.”  John squeezes her shoulder and gets them plates.  “You don’t have to stay.  I’ll be fine.”

“Fusco has things under control at the station and Finch will call if he needs me.  I’ve got nowhere else I need to be.”  He sits on the couch to eat.  When they’re done, he stretches out and falls instantly asleep.  Shaw returns to Root’s bedside.


	17. The Periodic Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll always come for you Root. Just try not to go missing again anytime soon.”

Shaw lies down carefully next to Root on the other side of the bed from the equipment.  She’s not sure what she’s feeling.  It’s almost surreal.  What would she do without Root?  Who was she before Root?  All the time she was captive, all she thought about was getting back to her.  Root was her connection to…everything.  But she never really thought about what that meant.  She just clung to her memories and that was enough to keep her fighting.  To give her hope.

Now she finds herself asking why.  How did Root manage to make herself so indispensible to Shaw’s existence?  She’s not sure she knows the answer.  Root just…persisted.  She never, not once, made Shaw feel she was defective or lacking in some way.  All her life Shaw was aware people thought she was an aberration…somehow not normal.  But Root…Root just accepted and loved her with a single minded determination Shaw had never witnessed before, much less been the object of. 

Root made her feel good about herself, made her feel like she fit.  She’d felt desired and desire for plenty of people in her life.  But Root was different.  It wasn’t just physical desire.  It was unalterable, unwavering, unlimited acceptance.  Root knew exactly who she was, she got her in a way no one else ever had and loved her anyway.

Things just couldn’t end like this.  So inconsequentially.  Some casualty of corporate trade secrets.  Root meant so much more…in their fight…to Shaw. 

Shaw must have drifted off.  She wakes feeling a pressure on her hand.  She looks up to find Root gazing at her.  “Root.”

“Hey sweetie.  I’m kind of thirsty.”  Shaw gets up immediately and brings her water.  “How are you feeling?”  Root takes a last sip and looks pensive.  “Like I’ve been kidnapped, drugged, and interrogated.”  Shaw snorts with laughter involuntarily.  “That about sums it up.” 

“Sam, I’m sorry…”  Shaw shakes her head.  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.  I get it.  There was no way for you to predict this would happen or any reason to expect it.  We all play our part in this war.  But why didn’t you tell Finch more about what you were doing?”

Root takes a while to answer.  “He didn’t ask.”  Shaw shakes her head angrily.  “He’s so self-absorbed.”  Root reaches out and takes hold of her hand.  The anger drains from Shaw’s face.  “Just…from now on…”  Root waits.  “What Sam?  From now on what?”  Shaw looks at her earnestly.  “Just tell me…whatever you’re working on.  I want to know.  Just in case.”  Root smiles at her adoringly.  “I will.”

Although Root doesn’t tell Shaw, she thought it might be all over this time.  Knowing there was no camera coverage and no one knew what she was working on, she really didn’t think there was any hope of rescue.  But really she shouldn’t have underestimated Shaw.  If anyone would find her, it was Shaw.

“Sam…how did you find me?”  Shaw sighs.  “I found your phone and called Jason.  He called Daizo, who told us the company you were trying to hack.  Did you leave your phone on purpose?”  Root vaguely recalls kicking her phone under the couch.  “I’m not sure.  I remember thinking it was important you find it, but I don’t really remember why.”

Shaw smiles slightly.   “For a nerd your password was sure easy to guess.”  Root grins widely.  “Only for you Sam, only for you.”  Shaw scoffs.   “Sulfur (16) and Americium (95)…Sam…hardly rocket science.”

“For someone who claims not to be a nerd, you sure know your periodic table of elements Sameen.”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “Yeah, yeah, whatever.  I can remove the IV and cardiac monitor if you promise to tell me if you feel short of breath.”  Root agrees immediately, wanting the intrusive devices disconnected.

“Are you hungry?  John brought some Chinese.”  The thought of food makes Root nauseous but eating will probably help absorb the drugs in her system.  “Did he bring fried rice?”  Shaw nods yes and heads to the living room to get some.  When she comes out, John is sitting on the couch watching cable news with the volume turned really low.  “Hey.  She’s up.  She’s going to be okay I think.”  John gives a slight smile as he stands up.  “Call me if you need anything.”  He doesn’t wait for Shaw to answer and lets himself out silently.

Shaw makes a plate for both of them.  She disconnects the equipment, but leaves it ready in case she deems it necessary to hook Root up again.  She settles in and they eat silently, but comfortably.  It’s one of the things Shaw’s always appreciated about Root.  There’s no pressure for small talk.  She can say, or not say, anything she wants.  Root’s not uncomfortable with the silence.  She says whatever she wants to say, but there’s no pressure for Shaw to respond or participate.

When they finish eating Shaw cleans up.  When she comes back to the bedroom, Root’s making her way to the bathroom.  “Do you need help?”  Root nods no so Shaw lies down on the bed and turns on the TV.  When Root comes out she looks better, having taken time to wash up.  “Sam can we go home?”  Shaw looks up and thinks about it.  The sun is just setting and they’d both probably sleep better in their own bed.  “Are you okay going back?  You won’t feel weird?”  Root sighs.  “No, just remind me never to order pizza again.”

Shaw rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  They close up the safe house and make it home in record time.

Root feels absolutely grimy and decides to take a bath.  Shaw grabs a beer and plops down on the couch.  She thinks about watching a movie, but then changes her mind and decides to join Root.  When she walks into the bathroom Root’s soaking in the tub, her back facing Shaw.  Her head’s resting on the edge and her eyes are closed.  A light steam hangs in the air and it smells like her favorite bath salts.

Shaw sits on the edge of the tub and runs her hands through Root’s hair.  Root opens her eyes slowly and smiles.  “Want to join?”  Shaw undresses and slips in behind her, her chest and legs cradling Root’s body.  Root sighs contentedly.  “Thanks for coming to get me.”  Shaw sighs heavily.  “I’ll always come for you Root.  Just try not to go missing again anytime soon.”

Root knows Shaw must be struggling with her feelings after having been captive for so long and then losing Root again even if only briefly.  But this is their life for now and pretending otherwise wouldn’t be honest.  When the water cools they get out and slip into bed.

Shaw pulls Root until she’s half lying on Shaw’s body, her head nestled into Shaw’s shoulder.  For the first time since she woke up that morning, Shaw relaxes.  Root kisses the skin under her mouth.  Shaw squeezes her tight for a moment and they drift off to sleep.


	18. Happy Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root has one hand on Shaw’s shoulder, the other stroking her back, from the nape of her neck to the base of her spine. Shaw opens her eyes and finds Root looking at her with lust so intense it’s searing and knowing all at once. Shaw feels exposed and raw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get it? Instead of happy endings? I know sometimes I make terrible jokes.
> 
> Well this is the last chapter before the dreaded death of Root. Don't worry, it's not permanent. 
> 
> I won't be posting again until next week. Heading with my niece to Disney World to celebrate her fifth birthday! Have a good weekend all!

Root wakes slowly.  The room is still dark and the only sound is the occasional siren in the distance.  For a second she wonders what woke her, but then she feels a tug at her nipple.  Shaw’s under her shirt teasing her with her tongue and teeth.  “Hmmm…good morning Sameen.  Or is it still night?”

Root hears a muffled answer.  “5 am.”  Shaw pokes her head out.  “It’s about time you woke up.  Take your shirt off.”  Root obeys, grinning.  Shaw rolls her eyes and settles in between Root’s legs again and claims her mouth slowly, first lightly, then more urgently.  Shaw’s tongue is in her mouth and Root’s hips tilt against her, breasts pressed tightly to Shaw’s, her whole body sending an undeniable message.  Her face is flushed and Shaw can smell her arousal. 

She pulls away and Root whimpers.  “Your shorts are in the way,” Shaw growls.  She pulls them down impatiently, leaving them hooked around one ankle.  Settling back in, Shaw slips a hand between them, her thumb lightly grazing Root’s clit while her fingers tease at her entrance.  “Mmmm…”  Shaw nuzzles against Root, her lips on Root’s neck, nibbling and kissing up to her earlobe.  She sighs as Shaw works her fingers against her slick seam.  

Root squeezes her eyes shut and clamps her thighs against Shaw’s hand.  She thrusts her hips desperately against Shaw’s wrist until she freezes, all the muscles in her thighs and belly and bottom tense and quivering.  Shaw feels her contract against her fingers. 

Before Root can recover, Shaw slips inside her with the strap-on she’d put on before she woke Root.  Root gasps in pleasure.  Shaw strokes her cheek softly and runs her fingers through her hair.  Root swivels her hips, causing the base of the strap-on to hit Shaw’s clit deliciously.  It’s Shaw’s turn to huff in surprise and she closes her eyes, beginning deep, slow thrusts, grazing Root’s g-spot with every stroke.

Root has one hand on Shaw’s shoulder, the other stroking her back, from the nape of her neck to the base of her spine.  Shaw opens her eyes and finds Root looking at her with lust so intense it’s searing and knowing all at once.  Shaw feels exposed and raw. 

“You feel so good inside me Sam…”  Shaw can’t hold back any longer.  She plunges deeper and harder and Root clutches and feels heat pooling in her belly.  She can’t help the moan that escapes her throat.  “Oh, baby,” she gasps as she put her lips against Shaw’s ear, whispering her name over and over, like a chant, or a song, or a prayer.  

Shaw thrusts once more and Root’s gone.  She lives for seconds in the soaring agonizing perfection and falls into an ecstatic burning, lost to herself, obliterated, completely undone.  As she comes down slowly, Root looks at Shaw and her eyes are blown wide, her need evident.   Shaw withdraws gradually and stands up, dropping the harness on the floor. 

Root looks at her lasciviously.  “Come straddle me Shaw, I want to taste you.”  Shaw looks at Root hungrily, but she moves slowly, clearly communicating she’s still in command.  But the minute she settles onto Root’s mouth and feels the first languid stroke of Root’s tongue, she forgets all about her need for control and abandons herself to the pleasure coursing within her.

Root places soft kisses all over Shaw’s sex, inhaling the musky scent of her arousal.  Still kissing her center, she lightly uses her tongue, dipping shallowly inside then out quickly, sucking gently on Shaw’s clit, then on her entire sex, in and out of her mouth.  Shaw’s soft as silk and warm like sunshine.   Root blows gently, almost imperceptibly, on her clit.  Shaw’s beginning to push down and is biting her lip in an obvious effort not to cry out. 

Root wraps her lips around Shaw’s sweet spot, drawing it in, moving her tongue along the bottom ridge.  She moves her tongue tenderly up and down in the ridge and feels Shaw’s clit extend into her mouth.   She engulfs it with the whole of her mouth and slowly curves her tongue and slips it under the hood.  She keeps moving her tongue over that spot, unhurriedly, burying herself inside.  She feels Shaw pulsing under her tongue. 

When Root enters her with two fingers, Shaw hisses.  “Fuck yes…”  Root reaches the spot right behind her clit.  She rests her fingers there, not moving, just pressing gently.  The pressure thrusts Shaw's clit further into her mouth.  She begins to move her tongue in a slow rhythm, gently beginning to draw out Shaw’s orgasm. 

“Don’t stop…” Shaw pleads.  Root moves her fingers slightly, grazing Shaw’s g-spot.  Before long, Shaw’s body tenses and her breaths become ragged.  A suppressed groan escapes her lips and her mouth opens in a silent cry as her climax swamps her body.  Root gentles her through it until Shaw stops clenching.

Her legs are trembling as she tries to ease back down to the bed, and she ends up collapsing half onto Root.  “Oomph…for someone so small you sure are heavy Sam,” Root laughs.  Shaw rolls her eyes and scowls.  “I am not small.  You are abnormally tall.  Besides, I’m all muscle.”  Root pokes Shaw’s abdomen playfully.  “I’m certainly not complaining sweetie.  I love your muscles.”

The lay together comfortably in the silence.  “Root?  How did they kidnap you out from under my nose?”  Root sputters out a laugh.  “Quite ironically actually.  I opened the door for the supposed delivery man and he tased me.”  Shaw doesn’t find it amusing.  “Why?”

“They thought I was hacking for a competitor and they wanted to know who.”  Shaw muddles that over, but doesn’t say anything else.

Root looks away distractedly.  “We gotta go Sam.  We have a number.” 

Shaw grumbles.  “It’s too early for a number.”  Root smiles at her indulgently.  “Crime never sleeps Sameen.  Come on, you can wash my back.”  Shaw looks at her sarcastically, her thoughts obvious.  _Since when is washing her back a reward for me?!_

 

 

 


	19. The Day Her World Went Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Actually, Sameen,” The tone in Root’s voice draws Shaw’s eyes to her. “I've been hiding since I was 12. This might be the first time I feel like I belong.” Root leans over and intertwines her fingers with Shaw’s. After a second, Shaw squeezes their hands together. As she leans in to kiss Root, they hear tires screeching outside and Root goes to the window. Shaw smiles ruefully. “These guys don’t quit.” Root assesses the situation. “I guess we might get a workout after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal for this series has been to closely track the canon but give an alternate interpretation of how things really evolved. So yes, we had to come to this moment. But I promise, Root will be back. The real Root, not the Machine as Root or some android as Root. Hang in there!

John calls Root while she’s on her way to the subway with Shaw.  “We got a number.”  Root replies in a smug tone.  “I know.”  He tells her he’s heading to the subway with Fusco.  “Lurch and Lionel are meeting us at the subway.”  Shaw rolls her eyes at Root’s regular nickname for John, but makes no comment.   It’s a sunny day and Shaw’s enjoying the crisp, cool air.  Just one of the many things she missed when she was captured.

Root and Shaw arrive at the subway first and Root sits at the computer to look up the number.  All color leaches from her face.  Shaw’s been leaning on the desk looking at her, so she doesn’t see the monitor.  “Root, what is it?”  She swallows.  “It’s Harry.  The number.  It’s him.”  The knowledge hits Shaw like a sledgehammer.  “I knew it.  I knew coming back would put you all in danger.”  She stands and starts to walk away but Root stops her.  “Sam stop!  There has to be another reason.  If you somehow endangered him, they would have come for him days ago.  The why doesn’t matter right now.  We have to save Harry.”

When John and Fusco arrive, Root fills them in while Shaw stands by impatiently.  “We need to get to Finch.”  Fusco leaves to cover for them at the station.  John turns to Shaw.  “Shaw, head to the safe house and make sure it hasn’t been compromised.  Elias is there so don’t shoot him.  Root and I will go to the university and get Finch.”  John doesn’t wait for an answer.  He and Root arm themselves and head out.

Root and John arrive at the university ending office hours abruptly.  They explain Finch’s number’s come up.  “Sorry, Harry.  Professor Whistler's taking early retirement.”  But Root doesn’t look too sorry.  Inside she hopes this will finally motivate Harold to set the Machine free. 

As operatives converge on Harold’s office, John shoots one of them in the legs.  Root takes out the other one with a shot to center mass.  She’s done playing games.  When Harold looks at her with admonishment in his eyes, she makes no apologies.  “Who wants to go quietly?”  John takes a business card from the downed operative.  As John leads them out, Root turns to Harold asking him pointedly.  “Good to be alive.  Isn't it, Harry?”  But as usual, Root’s sarcasm is lost on Harold.  “We haven't survived this yet, Ms. Groves.”

They make it to the safe house.  Shaw rushes in a few seconds later.  “Street's clear.  You weren't followed.”  Harold looks at Shaw.  “Ms. Shaw, it’s good to have you back home.”  Elias wonders how Finch’s cover was blown and Finch tells him he doesn’t know.  But Shaw’s sure.  “I do.  I'm back a week, your cover's blown.” 

Root can see Shaw is completely shut down, her walls firmly in place where nothing and no one can touch her.

Meanwhile John’s gathering weapons, ammo, and cash.  It’s time to go on the offensive.  Fusco walks in suddenly and they all point their weapons at him.  “Yeah, I love you too.”  They all put their weapons down when they realize it’s him, except for Shaw.    

Root walks over and gently turns her away, a smile in her voice.  “Grab some guns, Sameen.  You'll feel better once we shoot some people.”  Shaw feels itchy and unsure.  But Root trusts her implicitly, wisely or not and, right now, Shaw trusts Root more than she trusts herself.  She allows herself to be turned away.    

Root turns back to Harold.  “There'd be a better way to fight this war if we hadn't closed the system.”  In the background, Shaw hears Root and couldn’t agree more, but she knows it won’t persuade him.

“What if I said I hard-coded a little something extra into the system before you closed it for good? I gave her the capacity to defend herself.”  Harold’s shocked, but Root reassures him.   “Don't worry.  I added a safeguard.  She'll only act if you ask her to.  It's entirely your decision.”

Before they can discuss it further, Samaritan operatives arrive.  Shaw rushes to the window.  “Party crashers.”  Despite the danger, she can’t help but smile and looks at Root knowingly.  “You want to stick around, give 'em a proper welcome?”  Root grins.  “Thought you'd never ask.”

While Shaw and Root prepare a welcome party, Elias leaves with Harold and John and Fusco set out to track Greer.  “Sam…” Root’s not sure how to put into words what she wants to say.  Shaw looks at her and knows what’s on Root’s mind.  “We can’t make any promises Root.  This is what we do.  We fight the bad guys.”  Root sighs.  They take out the operatives and Shaw feels better after burning off some aggression.

As he hides with Elias, Harold realizes how Samaritan found him.  He calls Root. 

“Root? –

Hey, Stranger.  Just finishing up here.

I'm afraid I've made a grave miscalculation.  I went back to the place I took Grace on our first date.  It had been ten years to the day since I bought her that first cappuccino.”— 

Root stops to consider what this means.  “Samaritan isn't just watching everything we do now.  It's monitoring everything we've ever done.”

Finch can’t help the guilt that racks his mind.  “You said this morning we were just surviving.  By then my fate had been sealed.  But not yours.  I would hate for my mistake to mean punishment for the rest of you.  And please tell Ms. Shaw this is not her cross to bear.”

Root hangs up and sits on the couch next to Shaw, who’s riffling through the items they took off the bodies of the operatives they recently welcomed.  The smell of gun fire lingers in the air.  She sighs.  “That was Harry.”  Shaw doesn’t look over.  “I gathered.  He think I'm the reason his cover's blown?”

“He knows you're not.  He slipped up.  He went back to the place he and Grace had their first date.”

Shaw glances up but doesn’t stop what she’s doing.  “Harold has a weakness.”  Root looks down waiting for Shaw to look at her and whispers.  “We all do.”

Shaw finally looks at her and stills her hands, but she doesn't deny it.  She turns her face and gazes into the distance as if she’s looking backwards in time.  “It'd be nice if we could go back.  I guess none of us has the life we want.” 

“Actually, Sameen,” The tone in Root’s voice draws Shaw’s eyes to her.  “I've been hiding since I was 12.  This might be the first time I feel like I belong.”  Root leans over and intertwines her fingers with Shaw’s.  After a second, Shaw squeezes their hands together.  As she leans in to kiss Root, they hear tires screeching outside and Root goes to the window.  Shaw smiles ruefully.  “These guys don’t quit.”  Root assesses the situation.  “I guess we might get a workout after all.”

Although Elias does his best to protect Finch, Samaritan finds them.  Elias is killed and Finch is captured.  The Machine tells Root where to find him and she heads out with Shaw.  As they hit the sidewalk, Shaw pulls on Root’s hand, stopping her.  “Shaw we have…”  The noise of the street, the press of the people, the smell of the city all close in on Shaw.  But there’s something she needs to say to Root, right now, before anything else happens.  She looks at her, eyes unblinking, voice clear.  “You’ll always have a place where you belong Root.  With me.”  Without waiting for an answer or seeing the look of wonder on Root’s face, Shaw turns around and keeps walking.

They steal a car and find Harold just as he’s being led out of a building by Samaritan operatives.  Shaw burns rubber as she brings the car to a screeching stop, blocking the street.  Shaw and Root step out of the car calmly, weapons drawn, anticipation on their faces.  Harold sees them first and takes cover.  They open fire, taking cover behind the car doors.  Root of course is shooting with two semi-automatics, while Shaw wields the heftier automatic rifle.

As the gun fight ensues, Root reverts to type.  No time like the middle of a gun fight to have meaningful conversations with Shaw.  “Ah! So I was thinking about your thing.”  Shaw’s almost afraid to ask.  “My thing?”

Your whole ‘I'm crazy and the world's just a simulation’ thing? It's a little like when Harry had me locked up and I was questioning everything.”  Shaw doesn’t know why she’s surprised now’s the time Root wants to talk.  “Can we talk about this after the whole lethal shootout thing?”

Root gives her trademark ‘only for Sam’ smile.  Shaw always does better talking when it’s not the only thing going on.  Bullets continue to fly.  “No time like the present, Sameen.  Besides, if this is just another simulation, who cares if we die?”  Shaw shakes her head as glass from the shattered car window rains down on her.  But Root is oblivious and despite herself, Shaw focuses on what Root is saying.  “Anyway, Schrodinger said at its base level, the universe isn't made up of physical matter, but just shapes.  I thought that might make you feel better.”

Shaw can’t help the incredulous look that comes unbidden.  “Seriously?”  They’ve taken out several operatives and they move further up the street together, taking cover on the same side of another car.  As Shaw reloads, Root keeps talking.  “A shape, you know? Nothing firm.”  Shaw misses the absolutely lascivious look Root gives her body.  “What it means is the real world is essentially a simulation anyway.”  Shaw knows the completely surreal explanation makes perfect sense to Root.  So all she says as she turns around to keep firing is, “You are the last person I should have confided in about this.”

Root turns wistful and Shaw can’t help but pay attention.  Root always has her attention, whether consciously or not.  “I liked that idea.  That even if we're not real, we represent a dynamic.  A tiny finger tracing a line in the infinite.  A shape.  And then we're gone.”  But even for Root this conversation is way out there.  “That's supposed to make me feel better?  I'm a shape?”  Shaw asks.

Root’s smile reaches her eyes and she leers at Shaw.  “Yeah.  And, darlin', you got a great shape.”  Shaw can’t help smiling genuinely in return.  It almost feels normal.  A gun fight, Root’s innuendos.  “I swear to God, you flirt at the most awkward times.”  But she can’t keep the glint of desire from her eyes or the want from her voice.  Exactly the reaction Root wanted.  So when Root’s says “I know,” it’s about more than just her ill-timed flirtation.

As the gun fight rages on, Root continues her metaphysical analysis of their role in the universe.  “Listen, all I’m saying is that if we're just information, just noise in the system, we might as well be a symphony.”  They share a smile, knowing they get each other exactly.  They rise in tandem, unleashing a barrage of bullets, eliminating the opposition and allowing them to retrieve Finch from the car.

As Shaw covers them, Root ushers Finch to their getaway car.  Another Samaritan truck appears with a heavy caliber machine gun.  Root yells for Shaw.  “Get back!”  But Shaw only hunches down, screaming back.  “Get in the car.  I’ll draw the fire!”  Panic ravishes Root’s face.  “I’m not leaving you again!”  Root’s frozen.  Shaw yells, beseeching her to go.  “Get him out of here now, or I'll shoot you myself!  Go!  Go!”  Root gets hit by a stray bullet, but doesn’t move until the Machine assures her Shaw will be safe.

As Root tries to get Finch back to the subway, he despairs, expressing his exhaustion and pain.  But Root insists everyone they’ve lost is not gone.  When Finch tells her he’s not in a metaphysical mood, Root scoffs.  “I'm not talking metaphysics, Harry.  You built it, but you refuse to accept what you created.  I mean, Shaw's a little screwy right now, but she's not wrong.  We're all simulations now.  In order to predict what we do she has to know us.  And she's gotten better and better at it.  And the people she watches the most, she knows the best.  Better than we know ourselves.  Nathan, Elias, Carter they're all still in there.  The Machine's still watching over them.  She's watching over us too.”

Root takes a pause to eliminate the operatives that have caught up with them, but then continues her explanation.  “As I was saying, this is the next world, Harry.  The world you built.  And as long as the Machine lives, we never die.” 

Fusco and John pick up Shaw.  Once in the car, she calls Root.  “Root.  Are you okay?”

Root can’t help but smile, even though Shaw can’t see her.  “Yes, sweetie.  Harry and I are fine.  We’re headed back to the subway.”  Suddenly, Root goes quiet and Shaw knows something’s not right.  “Root?”  Root answers nonchalantly.  “Sorry Sam, gotta go.”  But Root’s last words before the line disconnects leave Shaw with no doubt something really bad is about to happen.  “I love you Sameen.”

Shaw’s not wrong.  Root’s out of time.  She only has a couple of minutes at most to convince Harold of what he needs to do next.  “Listen, I know you have apprehension about what the Machine is.  About what she will become.  And I trust you, Harold.  I walked in darkness for a very long time until you guided me to light.  And I wouldn't change any of it.  But we're not going to win this way.  And we can't afford to lose.  When the time comes, you'll know what to do.  And I know this is an ugliness you never wanted, but sometimes you have to fight a little.”

But Harold feels they’ve already lost.  “We're fighting a war that's already over.  All this mayhem? It isn't some plucky underground resistance movement.  It's an extinction burst.”  There’s nothing more Root can say.  She just hopes it will be enough.  As the Machine alerts her, Root slows down, watching the roof tops.  Just as she sees Jeff Blackwell lining up his shot on Harold, Root swerves the car.  She takes the bullet meant for him.  As she continues to drive, bleeding out, they approach a police barricade.  Finch tells Root they need to take their chances with the police, but the truth is Root’s reached the end of the line.  She can’t continue to drive in her condition anyway.  As Root’s taking labored breaths, the police pull Finch from the car.

Fusco, Reese, and Shaw arrive at the scene.  Finch’s been arrested and Root’s at the hospital in critical condition.  Shaw shuts down internally.   There’s nothing she can do for Root right now, so she goes with John to try and save Finch.  But her mind goes into overdrive.  Root will make it.  They didn’t come this far only to be separated again.  One week was not enough.  It will never be enough.

Finch has been arrested and booked.  As he sits listening to a federal agent go on about his crimes and consequences, he wrestles with himself.  Not about what comes next, but rather how.  He knows he can’t just let Samaritan win.  He won’t let his friends have died in vain.  As they start to take him back to his cell, a phone next to him rings.  He answers and it’s Root’s voice.  But it’s not Root.  The Machine has chosen a voice.  That’s all the confirmation of Root’s death Harold needs.  _So this is how the end begins._ “This place…can you get me out of it?”  ROOT: You created me.  I can do anything you want me to—

As John and Shaw arrive at the holding facility, chaos reigns.  There’s been an escape.  John stops to answer a call from Fusco.  He’s at the morgue and tells John Root’s dead.  John turns to look at Shaw and nods his head no once. 

Shaw takes a second to process.  _Root is not dead.  I would know if Root were dead.  And her number would’ve come up.  But wherever she is, she’s in trouble.  Finch and the Machine will help me find her._

But all she says to John is “We need to get to Finch.”

But John thinks he’s finally figured out what’s going on.  “I got a feeling Finch isn't here anymore.   Samaritan didn't want him dead, at least not if they could capture him…I think it was warning us about what he might do to them.”

_And it occurs to Sameen she has her answer. Root. Root had to die before Finch finally unshackled the Machine._


	20. Shaw Knows Root's Not Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ROOT: I don't think I have much time left. There's something else I wanted to tell you before I'm gone.—
> 
> Shaw can only imagine. “Is this the part where you tell me that I should live out the rest of my days in peace? Grow an herb garden or something?”
> 
> ROOT: No. I chose you for exactly who you are, but there's something I think Root had wanted to say to you. You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don't feel things the way other people do. But she always felt that was what made you beautiful. She wanted you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line. An arrow.”
> 
> Shaw can’t help it and a tear runs down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised Root would be back this chapter, but I didn't have a lot of time and wanted to get through the hard stuff. She'll be back next chapter I promise. I may even be able to post it tomorrow, but if not I will on the weekend. For sure!

Reese and Fusco stand by Root’s grave, but Shaw’s not there.  They think it’s because she can’t handle it or doesn’t feel anything, but they’re wrong.  She’s not there because Root’s not dead.  But Shaw knows that’s not the same thing as being okay.

Shaw’s at the playground near their apartment, letting the kids spin her on the roundabout.  She reaches up behind her ear, where her chip used to be.  Maybe she was right all along and this is a simulation.  Maybe she can trigger a flicker that will let her know none of this is real.  But the world spins on.  John’s been standing by and Shaw finally acknowledges him.

“What do you want?  Want to ask how I'm feeling?”  John waits a beat.  “Okay. How are you feeling?”

“I'm not feeling anything.”  John wisely doesn’t comment.  Shaw knows the numbness she feels now has nothing to do with not caring or recognizing what Root means to her.  She simply will not accept the idea that Root is dead.  This may be a simulation, but either way Root’s not dead.

When Shaw doesn’t say anything else, John prods her.  “I can't have you sit on the sidelines, Shaw.  I need you to decide to fight.”

Shaw’s reserve cracks.  “I have made a decision.  This simulation sucks.”  She throws off her cap and heads to the nearest camera, staring directly into it.  “And I'm ready to start again.”

John rushes over.  “What do you think you're doing?”  A car immediately pulls up, tires screeching.  Shaw approaches it.  “Here I am.  Come and get me.”  John draws his gun.  “Shaw, stop!”

But a man exits the car and simply hands Shaw an envelope with a new identity from Thornhill.  “Have a nice day, Mrs. Sterling.”  John relaxes and debates whether to confront Shaw.  Clearly she feels strongly about what happened to Root.  She’s willing to be recaptured by Samaritan on the off-chance this is still a simulation.  Or maybe she’d rather be in a simulation with Root than in the real world without her.

But he settles for pointing out, “The Machine wants us to get back to work.  This is not a simulation.”  Shaw remains unconvinced.  “Yeah, I've heard that before…Alison Sterling, Congressman Joe Sterling's wife.  The world's gone to hell, and the Machine still wants us to play dress-up.”

John speaks without thinking, “I think you're getting Root's rotating identities now that she's…”  Shaw glares at him and crumbles the envelope, tossing it on the ground.  “Undercover's not really my strong suit.”  _That was Root’s thing._  

John can’t mask his agitation.  He picks up the papers.  “We have to get Finch back.  Maybe this will help.  Shaw, we need you.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  She can wait for this simulation to end anywhere she thinks.  “Got to kill time somehow.  How exactly do you think we can track Harold down?”

Relived, John admits, “I don't know, but I'm not just gonna stand here and wait for him to text us.”  The phone next to them rings.  But Shaw’s not having it.  “No way, I am done helping little old ladies cross the street, Reese.  No more numbers.  We get Finch.  We go after Samaritan.  That's it.”  _Then I get Root back._ But their number is the President and Shaw thinks just maybe this may have something to do with their fight against Samaritan.

Once they save the president Shaw realizes they only received the number because Samaritan decided the president of the United States was irrelevant so the Machine sent them his number.  Until she finds Root or the simulation ends, whichever comes first, Shaw’s going to make sure to thwart Samaritan at every turn. 

And then the Machine sends them Greer’s number.  The search leads them to Finch, who has appropriated a virus capable of destroying Samaritan.  They help him reach the upload site and he gets them out safely, but stays behind to upload the virus.  Reese and Shaw escape and head back to Manhattan.  Finch disappears.

 

* * *

 

Shaw decides to visit Root’s grave.  She’s not sure why.  There are only two realities Shaw will accept.  This is a simulation or its reality and Root’s alive and needs her help.  But she needs…something. 

So she finds herself standing in Potter’s Field.  The day’s cloudy, which seems fitting somehow.  The air is cool and dead leaves litter the ground.  It’s weird.  Maybe she should say something.  “If this digital Armageddon turns out to be a full-blown Armageddon I figured I should say good-bye.”  She can’t think of anything else to say, so she stands looking at the grave number.   050313.  It takes her a second but she knows that number.  It’s the date Root became the Machine’s analog interface.  Shaw smiles.  Root would like that.  She’s not sure what else to do.  “Sorry Root.  This just isn’t my thing.”

As she starts to walk away, she notices the ground over the grave’s been dug up.  As she bends down, her phone rings.  It connects automatically and she expects to hear John or maybe even Fusco.  Instead she hears, ROOT:  Looks like they dug her up.—

Shaw stands up quickly, looking around.  ROOT: Guessing they got to her cochlear.  I should have had her cremated, but I just didn't have the heart.  My bad.—

Something like hope momentarily beats in Shaw’s heart.  “Is this?  Are you?...”

ROOT: You know who I am, sweetie.  Big sister.—

Shaw smiles despite herself.  “You took her voice.”  And to Shaw, it’s the next best thing to actual Root.  So much of Root was communicated not in what she said, but how she said it.  Not just the innuendos.

ROOT: As much as I'd like to continue this conversation, you should get moving.  Samaritan sent its lap dogs to find you.—

With Root’s voice in her ear, Shaw can’t bring herself to worry too much.  “God, you have her bad timing too.  You got an exit strategy?”

ROOT:  Relax, sweetie.  A hearse will pass your way in three, two… —

Shaw watches the hearse as it comes to a stop near her, tires squealing.  “Well, I’ve driven worse.”  She pulls out the driver as Samaritan agents open fire.

 

* * *

 

 

Back at the station, John and Fusco get arrested based on an anonymous tip.  But instead of being transported to Riker’s, they’re taken to the docks to be killed.  As they stand at the water’s edge a sniper takes out their guards and Finch appears.  They walk off together to finally end it—one way or another.

They head back to the subway and meet up with Shaw.  Although John doesn’t comment, Shaw’s changed somehow.  She almost looks like her old self, with the excited gleam in her eye that says she’s up for anything.  “Are we gonna bust some heads open or what?” Shaw wants to know.  _These guys need to get their shit together so we can finish this and I can go find Root._

Finch may have rebooted his fight instinct, but still wears pessimism well.  “I wish it was that simple, Ms. Shaw.  Ice-nine virus has had a global impact.”  But Shaw has a solution.  The Machine gave her a core copy of her code for Finch.  They figure out there’s an air gapped copy of Samaritan in the Federal Reserve  that Finch and Reese head out to destroy.   Shaw and Fusco stay in the subway to protect the Machine’s infrastructure.

Shaw starts stocking up on weapons and ordering Fusco around.  Finally fed up, he asks her, “You know I’m a cop, right?”  Shaw stops and stares, quietly telling him, “If we were eating doughnuts and shooting cardboard cutouts, you would be in charge.”  But as Shaw’s preparing for a siege, she hears Root again. 

ROOT: Actually, there's been a slight change of plans.  I'm gonna need you to go to the fourth locker on the left.—

Although Shaw automatically questions, she instinctively does as asked.  It’s her default setting to Root’s voice.  “What’s in there?”

ROOT: An exit strategy.—

Shaw opens the locker and finds a duffle bag full of semtex.  Fusco looks at Shaw.  “We blowing up something?”

ROOT: The tunnel, and I'm gonna need you to throw power to the third rail.—

Shaw’s confused.  “What?”

ROOT: The breaker sweetie.  Just do it.

Even machine ROOT exasperates Shaw and she rolls her eyes.  She turns to Fusco.  “All right, plant this along the tunnel.”  Then she flips the breaker.

ROOT:  Pull off the tarp in the subway car up at the front.—

Shaw doesn’t bother to question why.  She pulls off the tarp and finds the controls to the subway car, slowly shaking her head.  “Oh, you've got to be kidding me…”  Until that moment it never occurred to her that the subway car actually worked.

ROOT:  I never kid.

Which Shaw knows may be true of machine ROOT, but the real Root always had time for humor.  No matter the occasion.  Shot, running for her life, entering the bowels of hell…Root always had time for two things.  Humor…and Shaw.

Fusco’s starting to get nervous.  “Hey, Looney Tunes, you sure about this?”  Shaw smiles.  It’s almost like old times.  Root ordering her around and Fusco calling Root names.  Or was he talking to her?

ROOT: Time this train left the station.  We've got visitors.—

As Shaw turns on the subway car, Jeff Blackwell and other Samaritan operatives burst into the station, guns firing.  Shaw and Fusco return fire as the subway car powers up.  Shaw screams at Fusco.  “Watch out, Lionel…Hit it!”  Fusco detonates the semtex and the train starts to pick up speed.  “Hold on to your hat, Lionel.”

As they thunder through the opening, Fusco braces himself.  “Remind me to never ride with you again.”  Shaw smiles.  This is her kind of ride.  “We made it.”  She wishes Root, her Root, were here.  She can picture her laugh and the way her eyes would sparkle just for her….and the adrenaline kindling their desire.  Although Fusco would sure put a crimp in their more carnal celebration.

Fusco… just looks happy to be alive.  “Yeah, looks like we did.”  But before they can enjoy their escape, Blackwell bursts in, shooting Shaw in the bicep.  Fusco subdues him forcibly.  One thing Shaw learned from Root, humor makes it hurt less.  “Not bad for a guy who practices on cardboard cutouts.”

Fusco patches Shaw up and she searches Blackwell’s backpack.  “What kind of loser does Samaritan recruit?”  Naively, Blackwell thinks he has all the answers.  “You have no idea what you're doing, do you?  What you're interfering with? “ 

Now it’s Fusco’s turn to roll his eyes a la Shaw.  “Tell me something.  When your boss gets turned to vaporware, you gonna go back to selling shoes or whatever the hell it was you were doing?”

Shaw finds Blackwell’s rifle and her voice gets deadly calm.  “Upscale ordnance for a freelancer.  Chambered for 6.5.  Custom.  A real connoisseur's choice.  A good friend of mine was killed with a 6.5 round.  You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?”

ROOT: Shaw.—

Blackwell swallows hard.  Shaw leans down in front of him slowly, her expression blank and her voice devoid of emotion.  “Is this the guy who killed you?  Killed her, I mean.”

ROOT:  Shaw.  That doesn't matter right now.  You need to get off this train at the next stop.  They might be waiting for you.—

Shaw believes Root is alive out there somewhere and she intends to find her.  But right now, her voice is all she has and she’s not ready to let it go.  “What about you?”

ROOT:  I'm dying, Shaw…I'm almost done.  I need you to get away.—

Shaw’s sighs, but she’s not giving up now.  “Ride's almost over, Lionel.  Time to load up in case the welcome wagon's waiting for us.”

The car starts to slow.  “All right, Lionel, let's see you earn that pension.”

ROOT:  I don't think I have much time left.  There's something else I wanted to tell you before I'm gone.—

Shaw can only imagine.  “Is this the part where you tell me that I should live out the rest of my days in peace?  Grow an herb garden or something?”

ROOT:  No.  I chose you for exactly who you are, but there's something I think Root had wanted to say to you.  You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don't feel things the way other people do.  But she always felt that was what made you beautiful.  She wanted you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line.  An arrow.”

Shaw can’t help it and a tear runs down her face.  But as much as this feels like a private conversation, Blackwell and Fusco are here and they heard and she’s not going to cry in front of them. 

Her and Root…that’s always been private.  It’s the only thing they kept for themselves.  Everything else they gave to the team…to the Machine…to the war.  But not them.  Not ever.

Shaw again resolves to find Root.  She knows Root is out there somewhere and she’s not giving up until she finds her.  Samaritan tortured her for nine months and it couldn’t break her.  A couple of weeks without Root and a death she didn’t witness and a body she hasn’t seen isn’t going to break her now.

Fusco can’t help but worry as the subway car pulls into the station and stops.  “Looks like we’re here.  See anything?”

Shaw grabs her gun and looks, but no one is waiting for them.  “Coast is clear.”  She walks by Blackwell. “I guess Samaritan got what it paid for with your friends, huh?”  She passes Fusco.  “Grab the gimp.  I'm not done with him yet.”  He’s her key to finding Root.  And if Shaw’s right, and he killed her or even tried to kill her, nothing is saving him from her.

Shaw is not sentimental.  But she finds herself whispering longingly to a bunch of wires.  “Good-bye.”

She turns around resolutely.  “Okay, time to face the music.  Let's go.”  But neither of them notices Blackwell slip a knife from his boot.  As Fusco bends down to lift him up, Blackwell stabs him and runs out the door.  “So long Lionel.”  Shaw looks up.  “No!”  She shoots and manages to wound Blackwell, but chooses to stay with Fusco rather than chase him.  “Come on, big guy.  This is not the end of you.  Come on.”  Shaw gets Fusco to the hospital and then sets out to take care of unfinished business.

 

* * *

 

 

Blackwell knows he needs to get out of town.  Samaritan’s gone.  He doesn’t know how.  All he knows is all of his contacts have disappeared.  His employer’s offices are empty.

He knows he probably won’t survive, but he’ll have a damn better chance getting out of New York.  But as he starts to pack, he turns around and looks up to find Shaw holding a gun on him.  It took her a couple of days, but she found him.

His voice sounds panicked.  He heard the Machine in the subway car and he saw Shaw’s reaction.  “It was a job.  Nothing personal.”  But Shaw looks at him much like she did in the subway.  Face blank.  Voice emotionless.  “I had a few jobs like that myself.  In fact, a few years ago, I would've just killed you without even a second thought.  But then I met some people.  Some good people.  And they taught me the value of life.”  Blackwell thinks there might be some hope after all.  “Those people, they wouldn't want you to kill me.”  But he doesn’t see the shine in Shaw’s eyes as she answers him.  “You're right.  But they're all dead.”  She shoots him twice in the chest at point blank range and walks out without looking back.

 

* * *

 

 

Shaw knows finding Root is not going to be easy, but first she wants Bear back.  He’ll make the search easier.  He’s the only family she has right now.  She finds Fusco and he begrudgingly agrees to let her take Bear.  “You know, you could've called and said you were alive.”  Shaw just smiles at him.  “I'm alive.” 

Fusco can’t help but be glad Shaw survived and his son still has a father.  But still.  “It's more than we can say for glasses and John.  You hear anything?”  Shaw’s already decided it’s best if Fusco’s life gets back to normal.  Being a cop in New York is hard enough.  She smiles at him enigmatically.  “No news is no news.”  As Shaw leaves with Bear, he’s somewhat comforted by the thought.

Now that the AI apocalypse is over, Shaw decides to find an apartment in Manhattan.  They’ll need a new base of operations once she finds Root; and with Samaritan gone, there’s no need to hide in the armpit of America known as New Jersey.  Besides, a fresh start will be good for them.  As she heads to a realtor with Bear, a public phone she’s walking past rings.

Shaw slows down.  Given everything’s that’s happened, nothing would surprise her.  So when she answers the phone and hears the Machine, she has to smile.  The Machine managed to send her core program back to the subway before the missile destroyed the signal tower.  It has no memories and since Shaw answered the phone first, she just became the default Admin.

Shaw hangs up and smiles into the camera.  Her and Bear need to make a detour to pick up the laptop from the subway on the way to the realtor.  Its first task is going to be to help her find Root.  And she knows just where to start.


	21. Finding Root

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What took you so long sweetie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's back! I hope I didn't make it too convoluted. I didn't want to follow the expected she was unconscious the whole time plot line, much less have her intentionally putting Shaw through hell. So she was...sequestered. But now she's back! Stay tuned....

As Shaw and Bear enter the realtor’s office, artificial chimes sound in the background.  The air is frigid and there is no one in the front office.  The only sound the quiet hum of the a/c.  A perky blond comes out from a back office and approaches Shaw and Bear.  She’s short, with glasses, and seems a bit awkward for someone whose job is to sell people things.  But her eyes are intelligent and her smile genuine.

“Hi, I’m Mandy.”  She extends her hand, but quickly lowers it when Shaw just looks at it.  Instead she squats down and extends her hand for Bear to smell.  Once he approves she rubs his ears and Bear licks her hand.  Shaw glares at Bear.  _Traitor._ Mandy stands back up, smiling at Shaw.  “Why don’t we come to my office and you can tell me how I can help you?”  She leads the way and after a moment, Shaw follows.

When they walk into Mandy’s office, Shaw remains standing while Bear hops up onto a chair and settles down comfortably.  Mandy smiles fondly at him which Shaw counts as points in her favor.  Shaw wishes Root were here, she’s much better at these things.

“I’m looking for a brownstone in the Village.”  When it’s obvious Shaw’s not saying anything else, Mandy gently prods her.  “Okay, what amenities are you looking for?”  Shaw looks at her like she has three heads.  “Space.”  Clearly it’s beginning to dawn on Mandy that Shaw is not her typical buyer.  “Why don’t I show you some of my listings so we can get a better idea?”  Shaw rolls her eyes but acquiesces.

Mandy pulls out a binder and when she looks up, Shaw’s already hovering over her shoulder motioning her impatiently to hand it over.  She flicks through the binder with increasing incredulity.  These prices are ridiculous.  The Machine’s going to have to rob a bank.  The thought makes Shaw smile wickedly.  It makes Mandy more than a little nervous.  “Uh….”  But before she can speak, Shaw pulls out a page from the binder.

“This one.  Draw up the paperwork.  Call me when it’s ready.”  Shaw motions Bear down from his chair.  “Wait, don’t you want to see it first?”  Shaw rolls her eyes and nods her head no.  “What about the offering price?”  Shaw sighs, does she have to spell everything out?  “Offer what they’re asking.”  She waits, obviously annoyed. 

Mandy quickly realizes, although not quickly enough as far as Shaw’s concerned, that Shaw just wants to get this over with as quickly as possible without being bothered with details.  “Okay, well I’ll need some information to prepare the contract.”  Shaw sighs.  She wishes she were back in the days when the ISA or Finch took care of all these details.  It’s exhausting and she needs to start looking for Root.

“Why don’t we start with your name?”  That’s it; Shaw’s reaches the limit of her patience.  “Shaw.  My attorney will be in touch later today to finalize the details.  Oh, and Mandy…no one better buy this place out from under me.”  She stomps out with Bear wagging his tail happily after her. 

 

* * *

 

 

Shaw stops at the next coffee shop she sees and orders a tall coffee and three doughnuts.  She settles at a table in the back.  Bear lies at her feet munching on his own doughnut while Shaw sets up the laptop.  When it powers up the command prompt appears. 

She types out a set of instructions for the Machine she hopes won’t need tons of clarification. 

c:\>buy brownstone

c:\>show me autopsy pictures Samantha Groves

Although the baby Machine has no memories it learns at the speed of light and in less than a second it knows everything ever digitally recorded.   At least everything that wasn't corrupted by the Ice9 virus.  

Pictures from Root’s autopsy start to populate the screen.  Shaw stares impassively.  She studies them one by one carefully.  Then she smiles.  Root’s alive.  Or at least, these autopsy pictures aren’t of Root.  But someone went to a lot of trouble to make it look like her.  The question is where to look next.  Root earned two new scars since Shaw came back, two parallel lines over her heart, one put there by Root and one by Shaw.  Whoever faked her death didn't know about them.  Already the field narrows.

c:\>police report shooting unidentified female 05312016

The police report pops up and after a few minutes Shaw finds what she needs.  Root was transported by Central Park Med Unit ambulance in critical condition to Bellevue. 

c:\>Central Park Med Unit ambulance report unidentified female 05312016

Shaw reviews the report and closes up the laptop.  “Come on Bear, we have to see a man about a corpse.” 

At the next intersection, an ambulance comes to a screeching halt, sirens blaring.  A medic jumps out and looks around.  Shaw walks up to him.  “Joe Darns?”  He looks at her confused.  “False alarm.  Have your buddy turn off that siren.  It’s annoying.”  Joe signals the driver and the alarm falls silent.  He shakes his head and starts to turn away, but Bear growls and bares his teeth.  Shaw looks at him unconcernedly. 

“I have some questions.  You picked up a shooting victim a week ago by the name of Samantha Groves.”  Recognition flares in his eyes.  Shaw looks at him knowingly.  “Funny how you knew exactly who I was talking about.  You must have picked up dozens of people since then.”  Joe’s clearly nervous and starts to sweat. 

“Look lady…” Shaw starts to shake her head slowly.  “You don’t want to lie to me Joe.  It won’t end well.  She’s very important to me.  Plus she was listed as an unidentified female, so how did you know her name Joe?”  He studies the deadly gleam in Shaw’s eyes and reconsiders. 

“Look, all I know is she was in critical condition but stable.  But when we got to the hospital they routed us to the morgue entrance.  They claimed the emergency entrance was blocked by an incoming multiple trauma.  So we unloaded, but….”  Shaw stares at him calmly.  “Don’t stop now Joe.  You’re on a roll.”

“There was another stretcher there.  The body looked just like your friend.  The toe tag read Samantha Groves.  Two doctors rushed over and grabbed both gurneys and rushed away.  That’s all I know.”  Shaw smiles at Joe reassuringly.  He seems to relax a little.

“Okay Joe…but you must have written down the doctor’s name for your report right?  You had to document who you released the victim to correct?  But funny, the name isn’t in your report.”  Joe starts to sweat.  “They’ll kill me.”  Shaw scowls at him and edges into his personal space.  “Maybe.  But I definitely will if you don’t give me that name.”  Joe whispers the name and Shaw steps back.  He jumps back into the ambulance eagerly and it pulls away.

Shaw looks down at Bear.  “That wasn’t so hard.”  Shaw walks in the morgue entrance at Bellevue and leaves Bear by the door.  “Zit.  Blijf.”  She walks up to the intake desk.  The clerk looks up her with a bored look on her face.  Shaw gives her best smile, which admittedly looks more like a grimace.  “I’m here to see Dr. Philips.”

The clerk doesn’t answer but thrusts a clipboard with a sign in sheet at her.  Shaw scrawls her name illegibly and drops it in front of the clerk.  The door next to her buzzes open.  Shaw rolls her eyes and walks through. 

She wanders around until she finds an office with the name Philips on it.  She walks in without knocking.  An owlish looking bald man looks up from his computer, startled.  “Who are you?!”  Shaw studies him.  “Trust me.  You don’t want to know.”  He stands up and grabs his phone.  “I’m calling security.”  He changes his mind when Shaw draws her gun.  “I’m only going to ask once.  You admitted a shooting victim by the name of Samantha Groves last week.  I want to know what happened to her.” 

He looks at Shaw dismissively.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Shaw sighs and shoots him in the forearm.  He screams, grasps his arm, and falls back into his chair.  “My silencer’s good for a few more shots and trust me when I tell you, I can make it hurt and still keep you conscious.  So let’s try again.” 

Shaw doesn’t have to ask twice.  Philips is talking as fast as he can through his sobs.  “They knew everything about me.  They paid me…”  Shaw shakes her head and interrupts impatiently.  “I don’t care about them.  What happened to her?”  When he’s done, Shaw motions at him with her gun.  “Get up.  You’re taking me to her right now.”  Philips stands up, still gripping his arm and walks around the desk without protest.

There’s still one thing Shaw doesn’t understand.  She asks the Machine.  Interesting.  Bellevue hospital was built in the 1700s and is the oldest public hospital in the US.  There are absolutely no cameras anywhere.  That answers that question.

Shaw follows Philips out of his office.  “If you try to warn anyone or call for help, the next bullet goes in your brain.  Understood?”  He nods.  Once inside the right room, Shaw closes and locks the door behind her.  There’s a stretcher behind a curtain and a door to the bathroom.  She pushes Philips inside the bathroom and shoves a chair under the handle.

She draws the curtain back slowly, gun trained on whatever might lie behind it.  “What took you so long sweetie?”  All the tension Shaw’s been carrying around for a week evaporates.  Then she scowls.   “What the hell are you doing just lying there?!”

 

* * *

 

 

Root looks at her innocently.  She looks like shit and she’s in a straight jacket.  Shaw notices there’s a significant blood stain on the front and Root’s breathing’s a bit labored.  “Are you okay?”  Root smiles and then winces in pain.  Shaw finally snaps out of it and puts away her gun, approaching Root carefully.  She releases the restraints tying Root to the bed and then helps her out of the straight jacket.

Root grabs onto Shaw’s arm and sits up carefully, resting her head on Shaw’s chest.  “Root…” Shaw wraps her arms around her gently, caressing her face softly.  “Sameen, I knew you’d find me.”  Shaw steps back slightly, making a more detailed inspection of Root’s body.  She sees the stitches from the gunshot wound and her old scars, but there doesn’t seem to be any other injury.  Until she sees the hair poking up from a bandage from behind Root’s ear.  “What happened Root?”

Root sighs painfully.  “It’s a long story.  They removed my implant.  Is Harry okay?”  Shaw realizes Root has no idea what’s happened since she was shot.  “Uh, about that…it’s a long story.  Let’s get out of here first.”  Shaw finds some scrubs in the room and helps Root get dressed.  Once in the hallway, she finds a wheelchair and a blanket.  She settles Root in and makes her way back to Bear.  If anyone thinks to ask why she’s wheeling a live patient through the morgue, the look on Shaw’s face deters them.

Once outside she calls the Machine.  She hails the nearest taxi and helps Root get in.  “Sam, where are we going?”  Shaw slides in next to her.  “The Park Hyatt.”  Root looks at Shaw worriedly, but doesn’t ask anything else.  When they pull up outside the hotel, a bellman with a wheelchair greats them warmly.  “Ms. Shaw?”  Shaw gets out and nods.  “I’m Mark and I’ll be helping you during your stay.  Right this way.” 

He helps Root into the most luxurious wheelchair Shaw’s every seen and doesn’t raise an eyebrow at Bear or their lack of luggage.  He whisks them by reception and up to what turns out to be the presidential suite.  Once inside he helps Shaw settle Root onto the bed.  Shaw walks with him to the door.

She whispers with him quietly.  “Here’s a list of the…”  Mark shakes his head reassuringly.  “Your assistant gave me the list of medical supplies and sizes for clothes.  I’ll take care of it myself.”  Shaw looks at him, unsure, but whatever.  The Machine knows what it’s doing she hopes.  She notices there's a bed for Bear and he's already settled in for a nap.  In the kitchen there are two dog bowels and dog food.  She fills his water bowl.

She closes the door behind Mark and sighs.  She walks back to Root and takes off her clothes, staying only in her tank and boy-shorts.  Root reaches out her hand and Shaw climbs in next to her carefully.  “Mark’s going to get us some supplies, are you okay for right now?”  Root smiles.  “As long as you’re staying.”

Shaw gives a short laugh and rolls her eyes.  “Believe me, I’m not going anywhere.”  The smile slowly leaves Root’s face.  “Sam, what happened?”  Shaw’s not sure where to start. 

“You were shot while running from Samaritan with Harold.  Do you remember?”  Root nods yes.  “It was an eventful drive.”  Shaw shakes her head at the understatement.  “Samaritan’s plan was intricate.  When Blackwell failed to kill you and Harold, it had Harold detained and transported you via ambulance to Bellevue.  It made it look like you died…Everyone thought you were dead.”

Root looks at her carefully.  “But not you.”  It’s not a question.  Shaw looks defiant.  “Not me.  I didn’t feel it.”  Root looks at her questioningly.  “What do you mean?”  Shaw fidgets, but she’s adamant.  “I can’t explain it Root.  I…something happened along the way...with us.  I always know.  I always know when you’re hurt or close by or in trouble.  I would know if you were…gone.   I just would.”  Root lifts Shaw’s hand and kisses it softly.  “I know you would Sameen.”

Root sighs before speaking.  “I woke up in that hospital room where you found me.  I was obviously recovering from surgery.  I was out of it the first day, but slowly I became more aware.  I realized they had removed my implant.  There were no cameras or networked devices in the room.  I was too weak to try an escape.”

Shaw looks at her pointedly.  “Then why were you in a straight-jacket?”  Root grins slightly.  “Well, I still tried.  Evidently biting your doctor’s ear is frowned upon.”

Shaw rolls her eyes again and picks up where she left off.  “Harry thought you were dead.  It pushed him to let the Machine defend itself and us.”  The ringing doorbell interrupts them.  Shaw goes to answer it and comes back with a few bags Mark brought from the local drug store. “Food will be here in 30 minutes.  Let’s wash up and I’ll redress your wounds.”  Root looks like she’s about to ask something.

“Root, it’s a long story and I’ll tell you everything, I promise.  But for now, just know everyone survived and Samaritan is gone.  The uh the Machine was gone for a bit but she’s back.  But uh a little different.”

Root can see Shaw is struggling.  “It’s okay Sam.  It can wait.  Are you sure we’re safe here?”

“Oh yeah.  We’re safe.”


	22. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it’s weird, but something about the way Shaw eats makes Root hot. No maybe about it really. It’s definitely weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Root and Shaw have a lot to figure out. But they're together and the rest is just noise.
> 
> I'm not done with this story yet. I want to take them to the point where they've figured some things out. I've also decided to write a part 4 to the All Shoot All The Time series. There's just so much for them to do and so many directions for them to grow.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Your comments are my motivation.
> 
> Thanks!

Shaw stands by the bed as Root gets up.  It’s obvious she’s weak and she sways slightly.  Shaw grabs her forearm softly to steady her.  “Shower or bath?”  Root considers briefly, but really a shower might just be too much for her.  “Bath.”

The bathroom is practically a suite with cream colored walls and white tile.  Root sits on a bench next to the tub, while Shaw turns on the taps.  On the edge of the tub there’s a collection of high end bath products and Shaw dumps some bath salts into the hot water.  A sweet musky scent immediately fills the air.  It’s not unpleasant and Shaw takes a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders for the first time in two weeks.

She turns around to find Root carefully peeling off the scrub shirt.  She helps her get the pants down and gets a close look at Root’s naked body.  Her mouth tightens when she sees the poorly tended gunshot wounds. 

Without conscious thought she reaches out to graze her hand over the puckered flesh, still red and swollen.  Clinically she knows the stitches will leave an uneven scar.  Root inhales sharply.  Shaw snatches her hand back as if burned and quickly looks up and away from Root’s pained expression.

After a moment, Root speaks softly.  “I need your help to get in, Sameen.”  Shaw can’t help the shiver that runs up her spine when she hears Root whisper her name.  “You need bandages. You shouldn’t get the stitches wet.” 

Shaw opens one of the boxes Mark brought and gets a couple of waterproof dressings.  She places them over Root’s wounds with a light touch.  She notices a patch behind Root's ear where they shaved her hair to remove the implant.  She makes a mental note to track down the surgeon and make him wish he was a vet.  Once she finishes, she offers Root her hand while she grips her forearm with the other gently. 

Root steps into the tub gingerly and sighs as she sinks into the hot water.  She smiles and looks up at Shaw, who’s still standing there uncertainly.  “Will you get in with me?”  Shaw hesitates, but then strips quickly and gets in behind Root so she can cradle her body.

Tentatively she wraps her arms around Root and leans her head on Root’s shoulder.  She turns her head slightly and kisses Root’s neck.  Root rests her hands on Shaw’s thighs and leans back.  “Thanks for coming for me.”

“You should know by now nothing will ever stop me from getting to you Root.”  Root’s heart skips a beat and she squeezes Shaw’s thigh.  “Can you tell me the rest?”

Shaw settles back against the water proof pillow conveniently provided and thinks about where to start.  “Once he thought you were dead, Finch went off the reservation.  He was being held in FBI custody.  He had the Machine stage a prison break so he could escape.”  At that Root laughs, but Shaw knows she’s not going to be laughing for long.  “He let 600 criminals escape so he could break out Root.”

Root’s laugh fades away.  “I never knew…”  Shaw waits for her to finish her thought.  “…that he cared.  Not like that.”  Root can feel Shaw shrug her shoulders.  “You’re very special to him.  To all of us.” 

Shaw gives Root time to absorb her words.  She takes a wash cloth and squirts it with a generous amount of bath gel.  It smells citrusy.  Patiently she begins to lather Root’s body.  Touching Root always has a visceral effect on Shaw and she wants nothing more than to lose herself in that feeling.  But Root is injured and there still seems to be more to say.

“Where is he now Sam?”  Shaw sighs.  “In Paris with Grace.  He thinks we’re all dead.”  Root doesn’t say anything to that.  “He broke into an air force base in Texas and stole a virus, Ice9.  We found him at Fort Meade, where he was trying to hack the NSA to upload the virus to their intranet.”

Root thinks about that.  “He decided to bring down the internet and let Her die with Samaritan.”  She feels Shaw nod her head.  “But as usual for us, it wasn’t that simple.”

Shaw stops talking for a minute and grabs the spray hose and soaks Root’s head, careful not to get water in her eyes.  Squeezing some shampoo into her hands, she washes Root’s hair.  Distracted at the feeling of Root’s silky curls, she slowly massages Root’s scalp.  She hears a tiny moan and grins.

Shaw knows their food will be here soon, so she rinses Root’s hair and helps her out of the tub.  Root grabs a bathrobe and doesn’t bother with a towel as she makes her way slowly to the living room of their suite.  Shaw towels herself off quickly and grabs another robe.

As she walks into the living room, the doorbell rings.  Mark’s at the door with a handful of bags from Neiman Marcus.  Behind him there’s a room service waiter with a cart.  As they set up the food, Shaw takes a cursory look through the bags.  Black t-shirts & tanks, jeans, button down shirts, underwear, and even a leather jacket and pea coat.  And boots.  _Guess baby Machine does know what it’s doing._

When they’re done setting up Mark looks at Shaw and smiles.  “Just call downstairs and we’ll clean everything up when you’re done.”  Shaw grabs her wallet and hands him a $20 bill.  “Thanks.”  Mark looks over at Bear who's sniffing the air eagerly.  "Would you like me to take him for a walk?" Shaw hesitates, but as Mark leans down to introduce himself to Bear, Bear licks his hand and wags his tail.  Shaw rubs Bear behind the ears.  "Sure, that would be great."  Mark leashes Bear.  "I'll get him dinner too and bring him back later."

Root’s mouth waters when she smells the food.  She hadn’t realized she was hungry.  She hasn’t had anything but bland hospital food since she was captured.  Shaw ordered her a soup and grilled chicken breast with risotto.  And coffee.  Blessed coffee.  Root looks at her and smiles.  “No salad?”

Shaw rolls her eyes and scowls and Root laughs with glee.  Shaw is not amused and growls.  “You need protein to heal Root and it looks like you’ve lost more than ten pounds since the last time I saw you.”

Root holds her hands up in surrender and digs into her food.  Shaw tears into her own steak and mashed potato.  Root watches her eat, always amused at her intensity.  Maybe it’s weird, but something about the way Shaw eats makes Root hot.  _No maybe about it really.  It’s definitely weird._

Shaw devours her food in record time and looks over to Root’s plate.  She seems satisfied when she sees Root’s eaten all her soup and most of the chicken and rice.  Root sighs contentedly and sits back.  “I’m stuffed Sam.”  Shaw shrugs her shoulders and pulls Root’s plate over, finishing her meal. 

Root gets up gingerly and walks over to the couch, sitting down gratefully.  Shaw follows with her coffee and hands it to her once she’s settled.  Root’s been puzzling over something Shaw said while they were eating.  “Why does Harold think you’re all dead?”

Shaw gets up and goes to the bar before answering.  She pours herself a couple of inches of scotch neat and then looks back at Root.  “Samaritan managed to send a compressed copy of itself to a satellite.  Someone had to upload our copy of the Machine to destroy it.  But there were only 2 minutes because Samaritan sent a missile to target the upload tower. 

Finch wanted to do it but John tricked him and did the upload.  Agents showed up to stop him and he was seriously wounded.  But the Machine managed to alter the course of the missile enough so the building he was in wasn’t totally destroyed.

As soon as Fusco and I made it out of the subway and I dropped him at the nearest hospital, I went looking for John.  I found him and it was touch and go for a few days, but he’s alive.”

Shaw pours herself another drink and wanders back over to sit next to Root.  Root waits but it doesn’t appear Shaw’s going to explain further.  “Why does Harold think you’re dead Sam?”  Shaw’s not sure she has the words to explain what started out as an impulse but grew into a conviction.

“I never got back in touch with him after it all…happened.  I found him, saw he was okay, and left.  I just wanted time…” Root reaches over for Shaw’s hand.  After a brief hesitation, Shaw intertwines their fingers.  Root wants to ask time for what?  But she senses Shaw will shut down if she pushes it so she lets it lie for now.

“Is he in touch with the Machine?”  It’s a very good question.  “As far as I know, he thinks the Machine was destroyed with Samaritan.  And She was.  At least the version we knew before.  I think…I think I’m the new admin,” Shaw admits miserably.

Root feels a jolt of…jealousy.  But it’s Shaw and it doesn’t last but for a moment.  They’ll figure it out.  Really she never dreamed they’d all make it, Samaritan gone, and the Machine…alive.  Root’s feeling a bit overwhelmed and bone tired.  She can’t stop the yawn that escapes her mouth.

“You should rest.”  But Root doesn’t want to let Shaw out of her sight.  “Take a nap with me?”  Shaw’s not sure she can sleep, but she’s willing to stay with Root until she dozes off.  “Sure.”  They make their way to the bed.

Root crawls under the covers and it takes her a couple of minutes to find a position that doesn’t press on her wound painfully.  Shaw waits and then carefully lies down beside her, close but not touching.  “I want you closer Sameen.  Please.” 

Shaw pauses, then scoots over carefully, turning on her side so she can rest her head on Root’s shoulder, her hand resting on her thigh.  Root reaches down and brings Shaw’s hand to rest between her breasts, her own hand resting on top. 

Root falls asleep almost immediately, but Shaw lies awake for a while with her thoughts.  They have a lot to figure out.  But at least now they have…time. Shaw feels a tiny spark inside.  She’s not sure she recognizes the feeling.  Maybe it’s…hope.  _Root’s okay and we’re together._ Her time in Samaritan’s hell made Shaw realize one thing.  She never wants to be without Root again.  She drifts off with the thought lingering.


	23. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It was harder.” Root’s doesn’t understand. “What was Sam?” Shaw straightens up and looks away. “Thinking you might be dead. It was harder than being tortured.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The girls are getting reacquainted.

Shaw wakes up when she hears a buzzing noise.  She’s instantly alert and realizes her phone is ringing.  _What the hell?_  No one has her new number.  She disconnected the old one in case Finch tried to get in touch, but she didn’t even give the new number to Fusco.

She slips out of bed quietly so Root doesn’t wake up.  She connects the call but doesn’t say anything.  After a couple of seconds she hears, “Hello?  Is anyone there?  Ms. Shaw?”  Shaw knows she’s heard the voice before but it takes her a moment to remember.  The realtor, Mindy or Molly or something like that.  _Stupid Machine._ “Yeah?” 

She hears what can only be described as a painfully cheerful voice.  “Hi! It’s Mandy.  Your realtor.”  Shaw responds impatiently.  “I know.”  Mandy mumbles something inaudible and Shaw snaps.  “What do you need?”

“Uh, I heard from your lawyer and drew up the contract.  The seller accepted your offer.”  Shaw still doesn’t know why Mindy/Molly/Mandy is calling her.  “So?  Call the lawyer and set up the closing.”  There’s a brief silence. 

“Um, I just thought you’d want to know.”  Shaw shakes her head and scowls.  It resonates in her tone.  “Now I know.”  She hangs up without waiting for an answer and heads back to the bedroom.  She programs the number into her phone as she walks so she can ignore it next time.

Root’s just opening her eyes and looks at Shaw groggily.  It’s dusk and the light streaming in through the window from the setting sun casts a soft glow over her skin.  Shaw catches her breath the same way she did the very first time she saw Root naked. 

Even in her weakened state Root’s body radiates strength and all her planes and angles come together in perfect balance, making Shaw’s mouth water and filling her with longing.

A knowing gleam enters Root’s eyes and it’s clear she reads what’s going through Shaw’s mind.  She turns slowly to hug Shaw’s pillow and the sheet falls just above the curve of her ass and Shaw’s eyes are drawn to the shallow dip at the small of her back. 

She thinks about grazing her tongue along Root’s spine, raking her teeth along her sharp shoulders, and biting into her firm delts…”  Her thoughts are interrupted by Root’s soft laugh.

“Earth to Sam…”  Shaw realizes Root must have called her name more than once.  She looks up sheepishly.  Root decides not to tease and pats the bed beside her.  “Hey sweetie, were you on the phone?”  Shaw kneels down next to Root on the bed.  “It was nothing.”

Root reaches out and rubs her fingers up Shaw’s thigh and she shivers involuntarily.  Root continues her exploration rubbing soft circles into Shaw’s taut abdomen and Shaw leans into the touch.  Suddenly liquid heat is pooling in Shaw’s underwear and she grips Root’s wrist tightly.

When she speaks, her voice is rough with desire.  “Don’t start what you can’t finish Root.”  Root sighs in frustration.  Shaw takes pity on her and leans in licking her upper lip, slightly opening her mouth and letting her tongue explore.  Root slips her tongue into Shaw’s mouth, moving in a circular motion, causing Shaw to shiver.  She caresses the nape of Shaw’s neck, getting lost in her taste.

After a minute Shaw pulls back slightly, looking into Root’s eyes, allowing them both to catch their breath.

“It was harder.”  Root’s doesn’t understand.  “What was Sam?”  Shaw straightens up and looks away.  “Thinking you might be dead.  It was harder than being tortured.”

Root tears up at the memory and reaches out for Shaw’s hand, clasping it tenderly.  “I try not to think about it.”  The only thing that kept Root going was the possibility Shaw was still alive.  “Sameen…”  Shaw looks down into her eyes.  “It’s over.  Nothing is going to separate us again.”

Shaw sees the certainty and fire in Root’s eyes.  It makes her think maybe there’ll come a time when she can let herself believe it.  She gets up quietly and brings Root two pain pills and water.

“I’m going to shower.”  Root closes her eyes again and breathes in Shaw’s scent on the pillow, letting it pull her back into a light sleep.

Shaw steps into the separate shower area.  Normally she likes nothing better than a scalding spray but she’s so turned on and frustrated she sets the water as cold as she can stand it.  When that doesn’t seem to be quenching the burning inside her, she turns up the heat and lets the water beat on her shoulders. 

The shower’s quickly full of steam and Shaw takes deep, humid breaths.

Root always has this effect on her.  Even when she’s being annoying or has Shaw worried out of her mind or furious, there’s this undercurrent of desire that courses through Shaw at the thought of Root.  It makes her angry, knowing she has no control over these feelings.  She slaps the wall and growls.

She grabs the shower gel and quickly lathers herself up.  But touching herself makes her wish it was Root’s hands on her body.  Almost against her will she lets her hand fall to her swollen clit.  She imagines Root standing in the shower with her, water sluicing off her hard nipples.

She slowly circles her clit and grabs a nipple roughly between her fingers pulling and squeezing painfully.  She shuts her eyes and pictures Root, hot mouth and roving hands…

Suddenly she feels a draft and whips her head around, startled to see Root standing there naked, her eyes raking Shaw’s body.  “How long have you been standing there?”  Root looks up.  Her eyes are blown wide and she licks her lips subconsciously.  “Long enough.”

She steps into the shower and slowly pushes Shaw against the wall, holding her gaze.  She presses her body into Shaw firmly, trapping her against the wall.  It’s too much and Shaw can’t resist any longer.  She leans in and captures Root lips, thrusting her tongue in her mouth, greedy and rough. 

She feels more than hears Root moan and it pushes her further towards the edge.  Her nails scrape down Root’s back and she knows they’ll leave welts in their wake and it makes her hot and possessive.  She growls into Root’s ear forcefully.  “Mine!”

Root bites down on her lower lip sharply and Shaw gasps, desperate for more.  Their ragged breathing can be heard over the water raining down against the tiles.  Root runs her hands over Shaw’s soapy body, scraping her nails down her thighs. 

Shaw feels a surging tide of warmth and Root’s insistent mouth parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking a keening noise deep from Shaw’s throat.  Her fingers grip Root’s hair and in the back of her mind she remembers Root’s wounded and she needs to be gentle. 

So she loosens her grip, but Root wraps her hand around Shaw’s and pulls hard.  She’s panting and she presses her mouth into Shaw’s ear.  “I don’t want it soft.  Show me I’m yours.” 

Root presses into Shaw’s body harder and bites down on her shoulder until she feels the skin pulsing under her teeth.  Shaw puts her hand on the back of Root’s neck and Root thinks she’s going to pull her away, but instead she presses Root’s head harder into her bite until Root lets go with an audible pop. 

Even through the smell of the fruity shower gel she lathered over her own body, Shaw can smell Root’s unique scent and she sucks it into her lungs and holds it until she feels herself feel faint from lack of oxygen.  She exhales sharply.  “Give me what I want Root.”

Root pulls back, her chest heaving, and a wicked smile on her face.  She reaches her hand between their bodies and strokes the length of Shaw’s sex.  “Whatever you want, Sameen.  Just tell me…”  She circles Shaw’s clit with her finger and stares into her eyes.  “Your wish is my command.”

Shaw’s done being teased.   She grips Root’s wrist roughly and brings it to her aching center.  “Fuck me.  Right now.”  She spreads her legs and waits impatiently.

Root doesn’t make her wait long and thrusts into Shaw with two fingers easily, gripping her shoulder for leverage.  Shaw is so wet and hot and it drives Root crazy.  “Is that what thinking about me does to you Sameen?” 

Shaw grabs Root’s ass and digs her fingers in.  She wants to mark Root, make it so she thinks about Shaw as often as Shaw thinks about her.  She pulls her in tightly so the space between them evaporates.  “Yes!”  She bites out reluctantly.

Root adds a third finger and thrusts as deep as she can while standing.  It’s a powerful feeling, knowing she can make Shaw come undone and reduce her to a quivering, shaking mess.  It’s not one-sided.  And she knows Shaw doesn’t really understand, doesn’t really get how completely Root belongs to her.

Root bends her head a little and sucks Shaw’s nipple into her mouth.  She feels the stitches pulling and the bullet wound on her abdomen throbs dully in pain, but she doesn’t want to stop.  She grips the nipple in her teeth while rubbing her tongue in the center.  She feels it swelling in her mouth.  She switches nipples and Shaw moans.  “Harder Root.”

Root angles her fingers slightly, rubbing Shaw’s g-spot with every thrust.  “You’re so tight Sameen.  I love feeling you clenching around my hand.”  Root’s thumb is grinding into Shaw’s clit and Shaw feels an exquisite pleasure pain, she doesn’t want it to end.  “Don’t stop.”  Suddenly Root thrusts her pinky finger into Shaw’s ass.  Shaw feels her orgasm rushing towards her.  Root licks her neck and sucks forcefully. 

Shaw pulls Root’s hair, yanking her head back, looking into her eyes.  “You’re the only one…”  Root leans in and sucks Shaw’s lower lip into her mouth.  Shaw’s too far gone to really participate in the kiss, but she pants into Root’s mouth.  Root knows what Shaw means.  She’s the only one Shaw’s ever let take her like that. It’s a measure of trust and the intimacy always blows her away.

“Come for me Sameen.”  Shaw’s entire focus narrows to the pleasure she feels cresting and she starts coming, hard, all over Root’s hand.  Root fucks her through it until Shaw stops clenching and weakly pulls her hand away.

Shaw’s eyes are closed as she braces herself against the wall in an effort not to fall.  Root’s too fragile to bear her weight.  As she looks up, Root is sucking her finger languidly, moaning at the taste of Shaw.  Shaw smiles softly.  “Freak.” 

Root looks at her with that look that says nothing exists in her world except Shaw and it makes Shaw’s heart tighten almost painfully in her chest.  “I belong to you Sameen.  Always.”

While they rinse off and get out of the shower, Root’s preoccupied with just what position will make it possible for her to come all over Shaw’s tongue without dying.


	24. Who The Fuck Is Mandy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hi Shaw. I wanted to know when we can get together again…to uh finish what we started. Say hi to Bear for me. Talk to you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Root and Shaw know they have to figure out what to do next. But neither one knows what a world without Samaritan should look like anymore.

As they make their way out of the shower, the doorbell rings and its Mark, bringing Bear back.  Shaw bends down to rub between his ears.  “Did you have a good time buddy?”  Bear rolls over and waits for a belly rub.  Shaw snorts and rubs his belly.  “I take it that’s a yes.”

She stands up and looks up at Mark.  “Thanks.”  Bear walks over to his bed and plops down like he just ran a marathon and promptly closes his eyes.  Mark smiles and the corner of his eyes crinkle.  “My pleasure.  Let me clear up the dishes and get out of your way.”  Shaw gestures with her hand and walks back to the bedroom.

Root’s lying on her back on the bed, still naked.  Shaw reaches her foot back and pushes the door closed without turning around.  She drops her robe.  Root’s nipples are hard and one hand is resting between her breasts, making Shaw wonder if it’s the cold or if Root’s been touching herself.  Not that it matters.  It still makes Shaw wet.

Root slowly bends one leg at the knee and opens herself up so Shaw can see her glistening center.  Shaw draws her eyes away from her body and up to her face.  She can see Root’s pupils are dilated even from across the room and licks her lips unconsciously.

Root smiles and waits.  Shaw walks over slowly and stalks up Root’s body with a predatory look in her eye.   She holds her weight on her fists, her biceps straining.  Her thigh brushes against Root’s center and Root hisses, instinctively reaching for Shaw’s waist and pulling her closer.

“You’re going to tear your stitches,” Shaw grins.  “You didn’t seem too worried when I was fucking you in the shower,” Root pouts.  Shaw smiles innocently, well as innocently as possible for Shaw.  “I was defenseless.”  Meanwhile she flicks out her tongue to lick Root’s lower lip and Root shivers.   

But then Shaw’s words make it to Root’s brain and she bursts out laughing.  “Sam, I doubt you’ve been defenseless a day in your life.”  Shaw raises her eyebrows and looks at her mischievously.  “You’ve always been the exception to that rule.”  Root melts and her heart skips a beat.  This is as close as Shaw ever comes to being romantic.  

She gives Shaw a smile that reaches her eyes and reaches up to capture her lips demandingly.  She steals Shaw’s breath and then gives it back, reminding Shaw that every kiss from anyone else was wrong.  Shaw’s veins throb and suddenly all she wants is to steal into Root with her mouth and her hands and her soul.  And it doesn’t matter that Root is already pressed against her, their breaths commingling, she wants her closer, closer, closer.

Shaw’s kiss is all taking, drawing something out of Root with each taste.  Root’s heart starts racing and her body’s flushed all over.  She’s trying to get control of her breathing.  Shaw breaks away with a growl and her eyes are dark and stormy.

“Fuck Root…”  Shaw pants.  “I want you.”  She hangs her head down and their foreheads meet.  Root runs her hands down her arms and her tongue lightly along the ridge of her ear.  Her breath feels hot and when she whispers “I want to come all over your tongue,” Shaw feels it reach deep inside and coil in her chest.

She settles between Root’s legs quickly and licks in one long stroke.  Root is so wet and hot and soft and Shaw’s not in the mood to tease.  She uses only her tongue, sucking on her labia, licking Root’s entire sex with broad strokes.   She reaches up and Root grips her hands, pulling Shaw’s mouth harder against her center.  Root moans.  “Sameen…don’t stop.”

Shaw plunges her tongue inside and wonders if Root really tastes as good as she thinks, or if Root’s just hard wired into her senses.  She slowly tongue fucks her and she feels her clenching with every thrust.  Root tastes musky sweet and her smell is indescribably addictive. 

Shaw lets go of Root’s hands and grips her thighs instead.  She feels Root clenching the sheets by her head and on her next stroke pulls out completely, sucking Root’s folds and licking her wetness up to her clit.  “Right there…don’t stop…” Root moans and she starts to lift her leg over Shaw’s shoulder, but her wound protests painfully so she gives up in frustration. 

Shaw sucks on her clit rhythmically with her lips, while running her tongue in slow circles.  Root’s abs are clenched and tight and suddenly she jackknifes, gasping Shaw’s name.  Shaw reduces the pressure, slowing her pace, until Root’s coming down and grasping her shoulders, trying to pull her up.

They lie next to each other, panting.  As her breathing returns to normal Shaw turns so she’s facing Root.  Root looks at her and grins.  “I love what you do with your tongue.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  “You’re easy.”  Root slaps at her playfully and Shaw grips her hands lightly, leaning in to run her tongue over Root’s lips, her wetness still evident on Shaw’s mouth.  “And I…love the way you taste.”

As they lie there quietly, Shaw snuggled into Root’s side, she knows they have to talk and decide what to do next.  Root feels Shaw tense and runs her hand down Shaw’s back soothingly.  Shaw gathers her thoughts.

“The Machine recruited other assets across the country, so we have help now.”  Before Root can ask a question, Shaw’s phone buzzes again.  She sends it to voicemail, not bothering to look at the caller ID.  Root looks at her questioningly, but when Shaw doesn’t say anything she returns to their conversation.  “So we don’t have to work the numbers?” 

Shaw fidgets uncomfortably.  “I guess not.”  Root correctly guesses Shaw’s uncomfortable with this sudden lack of purpose, but then again Shaw said she wanted time.  But time to do what?  “Sweetie, do you want to go back to working the numbers?”

Shaw scowls.  “Yes.  Maybe.  No.”  Root clasps her hand gently.  “You know we don’t have to decide right away.  We can take time…”

But Shaw can’t imagine what that life would look like.  She’s been chasing bad guys for so long she doesn’t know if she can do anything else.  Shaw’s phone beeps indicating she has a voicemail.  She ignores it and gets up and walks into the bathroom.

Root looks over at Shaw’s phone and sees ‘Missed call from Mandy.’  _Who the fuck’s Mandy?_   Root wonders if this is who Shaw was on the phone with earlier.  She knows she shouldn’t, but her curiosity gets the better of her and she switches to the voicemail and hits play.

“Hi Shaw.  I wanted to know when we can get together again…to uh finish what we started.  Say hi to Bear for me.  Talk to you soon.”  Root resets it so it appears as if the message hasn’t been played.

She feels a bolt of jealously flash through her, hot and sharp.  But she knows it’s stupid, she’ll just ask Shaw about her.  Shaw comes back from the bathroom and flops onto the bed.  Her face is slightly damp and she’s put her hair up. 

“Sam, who’s Mandy?”  Shaw’s preoccupied with their recent conversation and takes a moment to register Root’s question.  “No one important.  Don’t worry about it.”

Shaw wants to surprise Root with the new apartment so she doesn’t want to tell her she’s a realtor.  “I met her while you were gone.”  Root feels distinctly unsatisfied with the answer, but she lets it go.  _Since when does she give her number to anyone?_

“I’ve been cooped up for weeks, you want to go for a walk?  We can take Bear.”  Shaw scrunches her eyebrows in thought.  “Sure.  We can get something to eat too.  I’m starving.”  Root can’t help but laugh.  “You’re always starving.  I’ll go wash up.”

Root’s in the bedroom getting dressed when she hears Shaw speaking softly in the living room.  But when she comes out no one’s there and Shaw has her phone in her hand.  She looks up at Root impatiently.  “Finally…come on, Bear’s hungry too.” 

Root wants to ask, but Shaw’s relaxed and the tension has bled from her shoulders, so she smiles and nods yes. 

When they reach the sidewalk, Root takes a deep breath.  The cool air feels wonderful and she thinks maybe this is what it feels like to be carefree.  Shaw slips under her shoulder and wraps her arm around her waist as they start walking.

Shaw’s never done that before.  Ever.  She looks down and Shaw’s looking up at her clearly expecting a comment.  But Root closes her mouth and instead drapes her arm over Shaw’s shoulder with a knowing smile.  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “Problem?” 

Root feels her heart clench with everything she feels for Shaw, but all she says is “Absolutely not.”


	25. It's All In Her Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But really this is for Root. There are so many things she can’t give her, but this she can do. Or at least she can try. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as she opens the door to the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's election day here in the states, so I had to distract myself with writing. I hope I didn't f*#k it up too much.

The next morning when Root wakes up, Shaw’s gone.  Root misses her and she feels unsettled somehow.  On her first morning back she wanted to wake up and curl into Shaw and draw comfort from her scent and her warmth.  It’s silly but she’s disappointed.  They’ll have plenty of other mornings now.

She starts to call Shaw but changes her mind.  No matter how much Shaw’s ability to deal with emotions has evolved, she still needs her space and is often overwhelmed.  Root doesn’t want to turn into some kind of clingy girlfriend.

As Root wonders, Shaw’s walking with Bear to the realtor’s office to complete the closing on the brownstone.  That’s what the phone call was about.  She feels uncomfortable.  She’s never owned property and the thought of having a permanent place to go back to makes her anxious.  What if she feels trapped? 

But really this is for Root.  There are so many things she can’t give her, but this she can do.  Or at least she can try.  She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as she opens the door to the office.  

When Mandy sees her she gives her a big smile and, in Shaw’s opinion, an overly enthusiastic greeting.  Then again she just made over $200,000 from the commission on the sale.  So it makes sense, Shaw guesses, for her to be happy.

“Shaw!  Hi!”  She walks over and invades Shaw’s personal space.  Shaw can see Mindy/Molly/Mandy is about to hug her so she quickly steps back and thrusts her hand out.  The woman stops short and shakes Shaw’s hand instead, holding it for a few seconds longer than strictly necessary.  She bends down and pets Bear.  “Ahhh, you’re such a good boy.”

When she straightens up Shaw’s looking impatient.  “Follow me.”  Shaw follows her to a small conference room where the paperwork is waiting for her signature.  By the time its completed, Shaw’s annoyed.  It’s ridiculous, all the paperwork involved.  She’s ready to get back to Root.

“What next?”  Mandy’s getting used to Shaw’s gruff demeanor and thinks it’s actually cute.  She smiles.  Shaw remains impassive.  “Well first, congratulations.”  She waits for a beat but Shaw doesn’t respond.  “As soon as the transfer’s complete, I’ll get the keys from the seller and I’ll call you so you can pick them up.”

Shaw knows she’s been rude to Mandy at every turn and really it has nothing to do with her.  The whole transaction is outside Shaw’s comfort zone.  So she makes an effort.  “Okay.  Thanks.”  Mandy smiles at her again.  “My pleasure.”  Shaw turns around and leaves the office.  When she makes it outside, she feels a little more settled.

When she gets back to their room Root is in the living room on a laptop.  She looks up and the remaining tension in Shaw’s shoulders disappears.  “Hi sweetie, I had Mark pick up a laptop for me.  I’ve been getting reacquainted with Her.”  Root’s smile falters. 

“You were right.  She’s…different.  But She filled me in on what happened after I was shot.  I’m sorry Sam.”  Shaw’s relieved she doesn’t have to explain everything else they hadn’t gotten around to discussing.  But something’s off with Root and Shaw doesn’t like the feeling in her chest.  “Sorry about what?”  It comes out gruffer than she intended. 

“For everything you had to go through alone.”  Shaw shrugs her shoulders.  “I wasn’t alone.”  Root stands up and gently places her hands on Shaw’s arms and looks at her in a way that Shaw doesn’t know how to interpret.  “Well then, I’m sorry you had to go through it without me.”  Shaw starts to tell her not to be stupid, but then she considers Root’s words.  She’s right.  Having Root with her would have been different.  Better.

Shaw’s faith in Root is absolute and when they fight together Shaw knows what she’s doing is right, even when they don’t agree and she doesn’t understand.  Root calms her in a way Shaw had never felt before.  Everything is better when Root is there.  But Shaw doesn’t know how to say all that.  So she leans in and gives Root a lingering kiss before she breaks away from her grasp, needing space.  But she knows Root gets it.

“So how was your walk?”  Root asks her.  “Fine.”

“How long are we going to stay here?”  Root wants to ask a ton of other questions.  Like are they staying in NY, do they have a mission, or even where’s John?  Shaw knows Root has questions but Shaw’s out of answers.  “Until tomorrow.”

Root knows their apartment in NJ survived intact and she wants to know why they didn’t just go there.  But when she asked Her it was met with silence.  In fact all of Root’s questions about the future were met with silence.

It feels strange to not be the one with all the answers.  It feels strange not to hear Her in her ear.  Root doesn’t understand; if Samaritan’s gone why can’t they go back to the ways things were before?  Maybe she should get another implant.

But she realizes that’s the point.  Things aren’t like they were before.   Root still believes in Her unconditionally so she tries to accept the uncertainty.  And if Shaw’s being cryptic it’s not like Root hasn’t given her a lifetime’s worth of obscure answers in the past.

For a change Root’s the one feeling hungry but she doesn’t want room service.  She finds Shaw lying on the edge of the bed with her feet firmly planted on the floor.  “Hey sweetie, I’m hungry.  Want to go to the diner?”  Shaw practically leaps to her feet and Root laughs.  “I guess that’s a yes.”

Shaw fills Bear’s food and water bowls and they head out of the hotel.  Root’s still weak so they set a leisurely pace.  But it’s obvious both of them haven’t quite adjusted to a world without Samaritan.  They’re hyper vigilant, constantly scanning their surroundings.

At one point Shaw believes she’s spotted the same guy hanging back behind them, but they reach the diner and she doesn’t see him again.  Luckily Shaw’s favorite booth is available.  She doesn’t even look at the menu.  She's having a steak.  When the waitress comes Root starts to order a salad until Shaw glares at her.  So she orders a chicken breast with vegetables instead.

“Sam, why don’t we go on vacation?”  Shaw frowns.  She hadn’t really thought about what they could do now that Samaritan was gone and other people could work the numbers.  “Where?”  Root thinks for a moment.  “Micronesia.  Tropical climate and excellent diving.”

“You dive?”  Shaw realizes that there are so many things they don’t know about each other.  So many things they now have the time to learn.  “Not yet.  But I want to.”  Shaw considers the suggestion seriously.  “Okay.”

Root’s ecstatic but tries to temper her enthusiasm.  She doesn’t want to overwhelm Shaw.  But she can’t help smiling broadly and Shaw sees anyway.  How much Root wants to go.  How easy it is to make her happy.  The sparkle in her eyes.  And Shaw wants Root to be happy.  They’ve had more than their share of misery.

Shaw allows herself a small smile.  But all of a sudden Root sees her tense and wonders what happened.  “Sam?”  The next sound she hears is a bubbly voice.  “Shaw, hi!”  And suddenly there’s a perky blond smiling at Shaw like the sun rises and sets at Shaw’s whim.  “I’m so happy we could get together this morning.”  She rests her hand on Shaw’s shoulder and Shaw doesn’t shrug it off as Root expects.  Root presumes this is the mysterious Mandy.

Shaw’s focused on preventing Mandy from letting the cat out of the bag and doesn’t see the look on Root’s face.  Her face is flushed and she’s hanging on to her self control by a thread.  She’s waiting for Shaw to introduce her so she can finally figure out who exactly this woman is to Shaw.

But Shaw gets up and ushers Mandy back to her table.  And suddenly it hits Root.  They’ve never discussed the monogamy issue.  The last Shaw said on the topic was she didn’t want to be with anyone else.  But she said she didn’t want to “now.”  And it was over a year ago. 

Root knows she’ll never be with anyone else no matter what happens.  But it was naive to expect Shaw would feel the same.  She thinks she loves Root based on a definition in a dictionary.  But what if, for Shaw, the two are not mutually exclusive? 

Shaw comes back to their table as the food arrives and she digs in without a word.  Root can’t bring herself to eat.  She takes a bite of the chicken and it lodges in her throat.  She puts her fork down and desperately wonders what she should do next.  Say something?  Ignore it?

Shaw’s not an idiot and she knows Root wants to know who Mandy is.  But she doesn’t grasp the depths of Root’s concern.  It doesn’t occur to her there may be something going on inside Root other than curiosity.  Root doesn’t say anything and Shaw thinks she’s dodged a bullet.  She notices Root’s unusually quiet, but she figures she’s still weak from the gunshot wound.

They walk back to the hotel in silence.  When they walk into the room, Bear greats them enthusiastically and Shaw leashes him for a walk.  Root’s disappeared into the bedroom.  “I’m taking Bear for a walk.” She doesn’t shout but she knows Root can hear her, although she doesn’t respond.

As Shaw walks Bear she’s preoccupied with thoughts of what her future is going to look like.  Will she and Root still have the same chemistry when they’re away from constant danger?  Can she even live a ‘normal’ life?  Will Root still have that gleam in her eye that lets Shaw know she’s hers?

She turns back abruptly, suddenly needing to go back.  Bear goes along good-naturedly.  When she gets back to the room, Root’s in bed.  It’s apparent she took a shower; her hair is still damp.  She doesn’t say anything to Shaw and after a minute Shaw goes to shower.  When she slips into bed 20 minutes later Root’s asleep.

Shaw crawls under the covers and automatically turns to tuck into Root.  But Root’s turned away from her with more space than usual between them.  Shaw feels something.  Something she doesn’t like, but she can’t figure out why or what.  But she’s always had the ability to drop into sleep without effort and she closes her eyes and drifts off.

Root stays awake into the early morning.  Her heart’s breaking and she can’t stop the tears running down her face.    


	26. Just Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She feels like she’s stepped into the twilight zone and Rod Serling is about to come out and introduce her to the fifth dimension. Not that she doesn’t feel like she’s there already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a bit of angst here, but it seems only dark thoughts are filling my head today. But I needed to write or I will lose my mind.
> 
> I also have a sneaking suspicion we may not have heard the last from Mandy.

Root wakes up groggily in the morning, her eyes swollen from crying last night.  She doesn’t have to look to know Shaw’s not in bed.  Sunlight is streaming through the windows but inside she's cold.

She washes up and knows she needs to get out.  It feels like the walls are closing in and the luxury of the room just reminds her it’s not home.  Bear’s asleep on his bed and she figures Shaw fed him before she left this morning.

It’s a beautiful day, but she doesn’t really notice although she feels calmer.  She walks into the café and the familiar smells make her smile.  She places her order and looks around as she waits.  The usual millennials are on their laptops or phones fixated on their screens.  A middle-aged woman, apparently very wealthy if her shoes are anything to go by, waits impatiently.

As she picks up her coffee and turns, she’s jostled by a man standing behind her.  “Sorry.”  she nods slightly and grabs a table in the back of the shop. 

She’s been distracting herself but she needs to figure out this thing with Shaw.  Root’s never had a monogamous relationship.  Or any kind of relationship really.  There were a few people in her past she dated a few times when she was in one place long enough, but she surely never expected, wanted, or reciprocated monogamy. 

She knows Shaw’s always had her three nights max rule, so she doubts she’s ever thought about it much.  Objectively Root thinks monogamy is something one gives willingly, not an obligation.  Forcing someone to conform to your ideas of how they should behave only leads to resentment, or worse, lies. 

But thinking of Shaw writhing under someone else makes her feel really shitty, which leaves her with pretty dismal options.  She’s not leaving Shaw, that’s not an option she’ll entertain.  And she knows Shaw would try, for her, to refrain from having sex with other people, but that just sucks in a different way.

But one thing she knows is she won’t have lies creeping into their whatever it is and cracking the foundation.  She’ll have to tell Shaw how she feels and they can maybe work out a framework that they both can live with.  No way around it though, they have to talk.

Root needs to find Shaw now.  The thought of waiting for her to just show up makes Root’s skin itch.  She dumps her empty coffee cup in the trash and heads outside.  She hasn’t gotten around to getting a new phone and she doesn’t want to go back to the hotel for her laptop.  So she walks for a couple of blocks until she spots a camera near a pay phone.

She stops and looks up.  “Where is Shaw?”  Root knows She heard her, she’s always watching.  But it’s almost a full minute before the pay phone rings.  Root snatches it up and listens.  It’s an address in the village.  Root’s puzzled, but heads down to the subway.

It’s a pretty walk through the village and she reaches a residential area sprinkled with trees.  It’s peaceful.  Now she’s really confused.  Why would Shaw be here?  Maybe a number?  She studies the house numbers as she walks and realizes the address she’s looking for is on the other side of the street.

When she turns to cross over she sees Shaw standing in the doorway of a brownstone smiling while Mandy’s holding her hand.  Root goes numb and her heart is pounding out of her chest.  There’s a fire in her head and she feels like she’s going to faint.

They haven’t noticed her and she takes a couple of minutes to just breathe.  Making a scene is not really Root’s thing, but walking away feels like surrender.  So she walks across the street casually.  She doesn’t say anything and just waits for Shaw to notice her.  “Thanks, Mandy.   I’ll definitely come over later.”

They both spot Root at the same time.  Mandy smiles at her tentatively.  Clearly Root’s face is not as impassive as she would like.  Shaw scowls.  Root nods at Mandy who makes a hasty retreat.

Shaw stalks down the stairs.  “What are you doing here Root?”  Root can’t get a handle on what’s she’s seeing in Shaw’s eyes.  It looks more like disappointment than anger.  Root’s completely disconcerted.  Maybe things are worse than she thinks.

She’s afraid to breathe, but finally finds her voice.  “I needed to talk to you.”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “It couldn’t wait until I got back?”  Shaw sighs.  “Well I was going to tell you later today anyway so you might as well come in.”

 _Come in?_  Root doesn’t think she can bear it.  She doesn’t want to see evidence of what she already fears.  Shaw looks at her funny.  Root stutters.  “No, you’re right.  I’ll just see you later at the hotel.”  Root has no intention of being there when Shaw gets back.  She just needs to be away from this place.  How did things slip away so quickly?

Shaw walks down the stairs to Root.  Root looks like there’s something really wrong and it makes Shaw’s insides tighten uncomfortably.  Root’s staring at the sidewalk.  “Root.  Root look at me right now.”  But Root’s eyes are glued to the sidewalk and she doesn’t think she can look up even if she wanted to, which she most certainly does not.

Shaw doesn’t understand what’s going on.  Doesn’t know how to fix it.  Root usually does the fixing.  She can’t help it, her anger boils over.  “Root.  You are coming inside right now.  You can walk or I can drag you, but you’re going to tell me what’s going on.”

Root moves tentatively but still doesn’t look up.  She doesn’t look up even when she crosses the threshold.  She hears Shaw close the door behind her.  Shaw comes around and stands in front of Root, close but not touching.  She waits.  Root knows Shaw will wait indefinitely.  She’s good at that. 

“When did you meet Mandy?”  It probably not the best way to start this conversation, but that’s what she hears herself saying.  Shaw looks at her like Root’s lost her mind.  “Mandy?  Before I rescued you.  Why does that matter?”

Finally Root can’t keep the rein on her emotions and she shakes her head in frustration, looking around gesturing with her hands.  “This Sam.  This.  What is this place?”  The pieces start to fall into place for Shaw but Root’s going to have to explain herself. 

Root’s so angry she wants to throw something.  But when she looks around, actually looks, the place is empty.  She feels like she’s stepped into the twilight zone and Rod Serling is about to come out and introduce her to the fifth dimension.  Not that she doesn’t feel like she’s there already.

Her anger slips away, replaced by numbness.  “Sam, I’m going to need you to take over here and tell me what’s going on.  Just get it over with.”  Shaw rolls her eyes and frowns.  “It’s not what you seem to be thinking.” _Isn’t that how these conversations always start?_ Root thinks, but she waits.  “Mandy’s a realtor.”  Root still doesn’t make the connection.  There are so many thoughts crowding her mind and for the first time, she actually wants to run away from Shaw. 

Shaw sees the beginning of panic in Root’s body.  She’s practically hyperventilating, a sheen of sweat appears on her face, and she looks like she’s going to faint.  She grabs Root by the forearms and her tone is calm but firm.  “Root look at me.  Look at me.  It’s okay.  Everything’s going to be okay.  Breathe, just breathe with me.  It’s okay, I’m here.”

Root calms down eventually and Shaw slowly lets her go.  Root slides down the wall and sits on the floor, knees up cradling her head on her hands.  Shaw takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.  She is not equipped to deal with hysterical women, even if it’s Root.  She sits down in front of Root and crosses her feet.  “I bought this place for us.  So we can have a fresh start.”

Root lifts her head, but still looks confused.  Shaw rolls her eyes again but tries to keep her patience.  “We don’t need to hide in NJ anymore.  I thought you’d like it.  But if you want we can go back to our old apartment.”  Shaw’s regretting she ever had this stupid idea.  Why on earth would she think she could try to live ‘normal.’

“So Mandy?”  Shaw’s still not exactly sure why Root’s fixated on Mandy.  “I told you.  She’s the realtor.  We met yesterday to sign the papers.  She called me this morning to tell me she had the keys.”

“But you didn’t even know if you would find me or even if I was alive.”  Now Shaw really is angry.  “That’s the last time you say those words to me Root.  I knew you were alive.  I knew I would find you.  Unless someone beams you up to their spaceship, I will always find you.”

Shaw shuts up then.  She’s not equipped for this emotional roller coaster.   But when she thinks of walking out it makes her stomach hurt so she stays and waits.  Finally, she feels the anger dissipate.  “Root.  Explain yourself.”  She didn’t mean it to sound like an order, but at least Root finally looks up.

“I thought you were sleeping with Mandy and it hurt.”  Shaw huffs.  _All this drama and that’s her explanation?_ Root hears how stupid it all sounds in the words echoing around them in the empty apartment.  “Why?” 

Root’s not sure if Shaw’s asking why it hurt or why she thought it.  “You were being secretive and I did ask who she was and you just blew me off.”  Shaw looks at her impassively.  “So this is about trust?”  Root knows now she’s really wading in dangerous waters.

“No.  It made me realize we never discussed…how we would handle that type of situation.”  Shaw’s still not going to make it easy for her.  “What situation?”  Root’s so tired, she just wants to crawl into a hole somewhere and never crawl out.  “Sleeping with other people Shaw.” 

Root never uses her last name anymore and Shaw realizes she doesn’t like it when she uses it now.  “Do you remember when we flew to Miami Root?”  Root nods her head but is not at all sure where this is going.  “You thought I wanted to sleep with the redhead I was talking to by the ice machine.”  Root nods again.  “Then you casually suggested you were open to a threesome.”  Root remembers Shaw was angry at her for days after that.  “I told you I don’t share.”

Root ventures a thought.  “I thought that meant you just weren’t into threesomes.”  Shaw’s eyebrows shoot up and her eyes practically roll out of her head.  “What I meant was I wouldn’t share you.  With anyone.  Threesome or not.”  Root can’t help feeling a little relieved but that really doesn’t address the problem.

“Okay, but you never said…you know…”  But Shaw’s not letting her off the hook and simply raises her eyebrows in question.  Root sighs.  “You never said if you’d be sharing yourself.  With other people.”  Okay Shaw concedes that’s a fair point.  “So if it mattered to you why didn’t you just ask?” 

“I thought it’d be too much.  Too serious and you’d bolt.”  Alright that’s another fair point.  Until just recently Shaw probably would have run.  But before Shaw can say anything else Root rushes on, needing to get it all out.  “Sha…Sam…I never want you to change for me.  You’re right.  I just should’ve asked and maybe we could have talked about it.  You know, figure out how it would work. 

But I never really cared one way or another until you.  I pretty much just had fuck buddies, some lasted longer than others.  But I never asked.  I didn’t care.  I didn’t realize it would matter to me until I thought you might have fucked Mandy and maybe wanted to keep fucking her.  The worst part was thinking you were keeping it from me instead of just being up front about it.”

This conversation left Shaw’s comfort zone way back and she's itchy and tense so she stands up.  Root thinks she might just leave but she just starts pacing.  “I never even thought about this until today Root and I’m actually curious to hear just what parameters you’re talking about…”  Root thinks it’s a question.

“Well things like using protection and not bringing anyone into our bed…”  Shaw’s listening but then she realizes two things at the exact same time.  She hasn’t wanted to sleep with anyone else since she met Root.  Even Tomas, although Root thinks differently.  And the thought of Root with someone else…well she knows she’d just have to kill them.

She stops pacing and settles down in front of Root again.  “Root you know I’m not a looking ahead type of person.  I’ve always kind of lived in the moment.  It wasn’t until the last couple of weeks, after we defeated Samaritan, that I even thought there’d be an ‘ahead.’  But I’m trying.

I want whatever comes next with you.  Just so there’ll be no misunderstandings I would prefer you didn’t fuck anyone else.  I have no desire or intent to fuck anyone else.  If that ever changes I will tell you.  First.  Before it happens.  I will never lie to you.  But that’s going to have to be good enough.”

Root feels her heart clench, she’s so touched and relieved that Shaw wanted a home for them and that she’d made the effort to explain herself, and quite frankly that she didn’t storm off.  But Shaw’s still looking at her expectantly.  “That’s perfect.”  Shaw nods impatiently, “Yeah and…?”

Root reruns the last few minutes in her head.  “Uh I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions?”  It’s definitely a question and clearly it’s not the right one.  Shaw clears her throat.  “Not what I was asking.  What should I expect?”

It finally dawns on Root what Shaw’s talking about.  “Oh sweetie, you’re not the only one that remembers things.  I remember quite clearly telling you no one else would ever touch me quite a long time ago.  So, to reiterate, it’s only ever going to be you.”

If Root starts some sappy forever stuff Shaw will definitely have to run out.  But she’d come back.  But happily Root leaves it at that.  “Great.  Glad that’s settled.  I’m hungry and you’re going to buy me a steak.  A big one.”  Root laughs and just like that her world rights itself.  Shaw will never say it out loud, but Root’s laugh makes her warm inside.  In a good way.    


	27. Shaw Goes Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What kind of idiot names their dog Herbert?” Shaw’s incensed. Root can’t help but laugh earning her a glare from Shaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a short bit of fluff. I felt like they needed it after all the drama and angst. I won't have time to post until Wednesday or Thursday next week. Unfortunately the bills need to get paid. ;)

They leave the brownstone and Root finally notices the sun streaming through the trees.  The sidewalk’s shady and people are out going about their daily lives.  It smells clean, not like the exhaust and heat she associates with the city. 

Shaw seems relaxed, the usual wariness gone.  A woman’s coming towards them with her dog on a leash.  He’s stopping every few minutes sniffing and generally taking care of his business.  She looks over and Shaw has a tender smile on her face as she watches the dog.

As the woman approaches, Root smiles at her.  Shaw immediately bends down and puts her hand out.  “Hi, he’s so cute.  What’s his name?”  The woman returns Root’s smile, taking off her sunglasses.  “Herbert.  He’s a cockapoo.”

Shaw’s already enamored and is rubbing Herbert’s belly while he squirms in pleasure.  His coat is a beautiful shade of copper, with small white patches on his paws.  Reluctantly Shaw stands up but doesn’t say anything, although she gives the woman a friendly look.  “Hi, I’m Root and this is Shaw.  We’re moving in across the street.”

Shaw’s relieved to hear it.  She wasn’t sure what Root wanted what with all the drama.  “That’s great, I’m Emily.” Shaw pays attention for the first time and detects a slight accent.  She’s always had a facility with languages, which was extremely useful when she traveled the world working for the ISA.  If she had to guess, she’d say Liverpool.  They tend to have a harsh, nasal tone.

“I live down the block.  Let me know if you have any questions about the neighborhood.  There’s a diverse group and great restaurants and bars within walking distance.”  Herbert is tugging on his leash and with a small wave, Emily lets him pull her away.  Shaw looks after them wistfully, and then turns to Root with a frown.

“What kind of idiot names their dog Herbert?”  Shaw’s incensed.  Root can’t help but laugh earning her a glare from Shaw. 

Root’s mind is racing pleasantly already thinking about everything they need to do before they can move.  “Uh Sam?”  Shaw looks at her, raising her eyebrows.  “You said we’d only be at the hotel until today, but you realize we can’t move in until we turn on the utilities and buy some minimum amount of furniture right?”  Shaw hadn’t thought that far ahead and Root realizes she never made it past the entryway.

Shaw groans.  “Lunch first.”  Root smiles adoringly and she rolls her eyes.  “Why don’t we go back to our apartment until its ready? 

“No.”  Root waits but Shaw doesn’t elaborate.  She thinks she’s stumbled onto something and she ventures another question.  “Sameen, did something happen?”  Shaw stops walking and looks at her angrily.  “Yes.  I don’t want to talk about it.”  Root drops the subject worriedly, but Shaw won’t talk until she’s ready and Root never pushes.

Neither one of them is familiar with the area so Shaw asks the Machine.  Again Root has that annoyed feeling, knowing she’s not the one the Machine is talking to. 

They end up at a place called Jane’s.  It’s casual and unpretentious and Root begrudgingly admits it was a good choice.  The wood floors and cozy tables give a warm feel to the place.  Delicious smells escape from the kitchen and Root knows Shaw is already salivating. 

Shaw orders a steak and Root a kale salad.  Shaw rolls her eyes but doesn’t comment.  As they wait for their food to arrive, Root chats away happily about everything they need to do.  Now that everything’s settled with Shaw she’s excited and can’t decide what to do first.

“You’re making me dizzy.”  Shaw’s words have no bite, but Root realizes she’s been babbling and is actually surprised Shaw didn’t stop her before now.  She gives Shaw an apologetic smile.  “Sorry.  Just excited.”  Shaw’s mouth quirks in a grin.  “Hadn’t noticed,” Shaw deadpans.  “Why don’t you focus on whatever needs to be done first?”

Root laughs.  “Okay, well I need to go back after we eat.  I haven’t even really seen the place.”  Shaw nods her head in agreement.  “While you do that, I have some things to take care of so I’ll meet you back at the hotel in a couple of hours.”  Root wants to ask what but she doesn’t.

Their food arrives and Shaw digs in with gusto.  Root watches, marveling as always how much food Shaw can put away and still maintain such a hot body.  Which of course leads her to thoughts of sex and pretty soon she’s leering.  “Stop staring.”  Root smiles ruefully and focuses on her own salad.

When they’re done Shaw gives Root the keys and they split up.  Root walks eagerly to the brownstone.  She stops at the stoop taking a real look for the first time.  It’s beautiful red brick in the Late Greek revival style.  She guesses it’s probably over 100 years old.  She walks up the steps and enters their home.  Just the thought of it makes Root giddy.

Walking in Root’s awed by the sheer amount of space.  She takes a moment to appreciate it and starts her exploration.  The hardwood floors are typical of the period, wide, thick planks.  Their color, coffee with occasional touches of caramel, lend a warm old-world feel to the rooms.  The architecture is simple and bold just like Shaw.    

The kitchen and bathrooms have been updated of course and it strikes the perfect balance between historic and modern.  By the time Root’s done she realizes it’s going to take months to properly furnish and decorate and it will undoubtedly drive Shaw crazy.

But there’s over 6,000sft of space.  There are five stories, 15 rooms, and 7 bathrooms.  Even for Root it’s a little overwhelming.  She realizes she needs to leave to meet Shaw and only has a chance to glimpse the outdoor garden and patio.  She hopes Shaw doesn’t regret it when she realizes what she’s gotten them into.

When she gets back to the room Shaw is pacing with a smug looks on her face.  “Finally, what took you so long?”  Root looks at her incredulously.  “The place is huge Sam, how long did it take you?  Because I didn’t even have time to explore the garden.”  Shaw looks sheepish.  “Actually, I haven’t been past the first floor.  I saw the listing, it sounded good, and I had the Machine buy it.”

Root’s shocked.  But when she stops to think she realizes it’s completely Shaw.  She makes up her mind and goes for it.  Shaw is not done though.  “We’ll be able to move in this evening.”  Okay, Root thinks, she’s lost her mind.  Maybe she knocked her head while destroying Samaritan.  “Sameen…I don’t think that’s…realistic.”

But Shaw gives her a knowing smile.  “Mandy’s taking care of the utilities and I went shopping.”  Root’s sure she didn’t hear right.  Shaw loathes shopping.  She drops onto the couch.  She doesn’t know what to ask next and is afraid she might faint by the time Shaw finishes talking.  “I bought us a bed, couch, dining room table with chairs, and a 4k TV.  I figured we deserve the best since we saved the world.  All courtesy of the Machine.  Evidently Samaritan had amassed billions in assets and it’s ours now.”

Forget Shaw, Root’s overwhelmed.  “Oh, and its being delivered in a couple of hours.  If you don’t like the stuff we can return it and get different stuff.”  Root’s completely enamored by the look on Shaw’s face, one she’s never seen.  A mixture of excitement, joy, and anticipation.

“Sam are you sure you’re okay with all this?  They’re going to be a lot of decisions to make and it’s going to take a bit to figure it all out.”  But Shaw seems calm.  “Look Root, if we’re not chasing bad guys right now, I need something to focus on.  Obviously I’ve never done this before.  But I’ve also never felt like I feel now.”  Root’s about to ask how she’s feeling but Shaw cuts her off.  “Don’t ask, I can’t explain.  But right now this seems like a good thing to do.”

Root pushes her trepidation aside and gives Shaw a wide smile that reaches her eyes.  “Okay Sam.  Do I dare ask what our bed looks like?”  Shaw gives her a lascivious look.  “You’ll see.  But it’s perfect for what I have in mind for you tonight.” 

A delicious feeling courses through Root’s body at the tone in Shaw’s words and she feels herself getting wet thinking about it.  She sees the self-satisfied look on Shaw’s face and can’t help but tease.  “Oh Sameem…you have no idea.”


	28. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi Sam, everything’s inside. I called my TV guy and he’ll be by in a little while to do the installation.” Oh no, this bitch is not going to be calling Shaw Sam. Only Root gets to use that nickname, especially in that indulgent tone Mandy’s using. But before Root can say anything, Shaw looks at Mandy strangely. “Don’t call me that. It’s Shaw.” The words are curt, although Mandy doesn’t look too upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is as awkward and uncomfortable as Root and Shaw are in their new reality. But I couldn't see a way to fix it. I might rewrite if something comes to me.

Root can’t seem to contain herself and she’s driving Shaw crazy, so she decides to go for a run.  Despite her assurances to Root, Shaw feels out of her depth.  But it doesn’t feel bad, just different.  It’s all been a whirlwind.  She hadn’t expected to locate Root so quickly, so she thought she’d have more time for the adjustment to a world where they’re not fighting for their lives every day. 

She remembers when she told Root she didn’t have the life they wanted.  She meant it but now she has no clue what she does want out of life.  She knows she wants it with Root, but what if they find out they have nothing in common except liking shooting people?  And sex.  Although those are two very important things.

There’s really nothing to pack at the hotel since all they have is a couple of changes of clothes, so Root decides to go back to their apartment and see what may have happened for herself and pack up their clothes and weapons.  When she gets there she realizes she doesn’t have the keys so she picks the lock.

Once inside, she looks around.  There are no signs of a struggle and everything pretty much looks the same.  What could have happened here to cause Shaw to never want to return?  The air is stale and she wonders how long it’s been since Shaw came here.    

She walks into the bedroom.  The bed’s unmade and it seems like Shaw was sleeping on Root’s side.  She glimpses something under the sheet.  When she pulls it out it’s a picture of her.  There are very few pictures of Root in existence for obvious reasons and she long ago sanitized her past.

It’s the picture Finch used to track her down.  The one Shaw took from him when she wanted to find Root and kill her.  Root had no idea Shaw kept the picture all this time.  It’s worn and creased.  Root takes it.

She packs up their stuff in a couple of duffle bags, really only clothes and weapons.  Other than the furniture, they never really bothered with décor.  She didn’t consider how heavy the weapons would be, so when she gets downstairs she hails a cab. 

When she gets to the hotel she asks the valet to find Mark.  It’s not like she can leave the weapons sitting by the curb.  Mark comes out with a cart and she walks with him up to their room.  He drops the stuff inside and leaves with a smile.

Shaw comes out of the bedroom toweling her hair.  “Hey sweetie, how was your run?”  Shaw glances over to the bags by the door.  “What are those?”

“I went to the apartment and packed up our clothes and weapons.  It’s easier than having to go shopping for everything right away.”  Shaw looks like she might say something but she just nods in acknowledgment.  “We can head over to the brownstone whenever you’re ready, the utilities are on and everything but the bed was delivered.”

A smile lights up her face and Shaw finds the anxiety she was feeling earlier dissipate.  She can’t help but give a small lopsided smile of her own.  Within a half hour they’re on their way.  When they pull up outside there are men struggling with the bed frame while Mandy watches from the sidewalk.  Root can’t help it.  She still does not like this woman.

She walks over to Shaw.  “Hi Sam, everything’s inside.  I called my TV guy and he’ll be by in a little while to do the installation.”  Oh no, this bitch is not going to be calling Shaw Sam.  Only Root gets to use that nickname, especially in that indulgent tone Mandy’s using.  But before Root can say anything, Shaw looks at Mandy strangely.  “Don’t call me that.  It’s Shaw.”  The words are curt, although Mandy doesn’t look too upset.

Root walks over giving Mandy a saccharine sweet smile.  “I think we’ve got it from here.  We’ll let you know if we need anything else.”  Mandy looks to Shaw, but she’s already bossing the men around, telling them what they’re doing wrong.  So she gives a small smile and starts walking away.  “Tell Shaw I’ll call her later to see if there’s anything she needs.”

Root keeps a smile on her face until the annoying little shit is gone.  She immediately forgets about her when she walks into the brownstone.  She wanders over to what she thinks will be their living room or den or whatever you call rooms when you have 15 of them.  She can’t help but laugh when she sees how lost the couch looks in the immense space.

She feels Shaw come up behind her.  “What’s so funny?  You don’t like it?”  Her tone is a bit defensive and Root thinks it’s adorable.  “I love it.  It just made me laugh how small it looks in here.”  Shaw looks around and realizes it’s the first time she’s actually been in this room.  “Yeah, I think I’ll leave the rest of the decorating to you.”

Root looks at her fondly.  “So which one is the bedroom?”

“Third floor.  It’s as big as our entire apartment and the bathroom is kickass.  The shower has like twelve different nozzles.”  Root thinks it’s almost excitement in Shaw’s voice.  “Have you decided what you want to do with the other floors yet?”  Although she asked, Root almost falls over when Shaw actually answers.  “Fourth floor’s a gym and fifth floor is our new…”  She’s not sure what to call it.  “Our new subway, sort of.”

Root gets it.  “I’ll order the gym stuff myself, but you need to take care of the computer stuff.”  Seeming to exhaust herself with words, Shaw turns around and leaves.  Root hears the deliverymen in the entryway so Shaw’s probably going to guide them to the elevator. 

Root decides to explore the outside garden and patio.  It’s like its own miniature forest.  She falls in love with it immediately.  The air smells humid, but in a good way.  Like nature.  She’s never really been a nature person.  Nothing in her life was conducive to indulging in any kind of physical hobby.

Shaw finds her there an hour later.  Root’s leaning against a stone wall dozing.  The sun is setting but there’s still enough light to see.  Her face is completely relaxed and Shaw knows she’s never, ever seen Root like this.  She looks peaceful. 

Root must sense something because she opens her eyes to find Shaw looking at her with what Root would call something like love.  Who knows what Shaw would call it if she could see herself.

“Hey sweetie, everybody gone?”  Shaw sits down next to her.  “Yeah.  But we have to go out again.”  Root looks at her in question since it’s apparent it’s the last thing Shaw wants to do.  “We need to get you a phone.  This place is huge.  It took me 20 minutes to find you,” she complains.  Root sighs, but Shaw’s right. 

When they get back a couple of hours later Shaw is beyond irritated.  Root made her stop to get bed linens and towels and toiletries.  She stomps off, Root’s not sure where.  She knows Shaw will be happy though when she’s able to sleep on clean sheets and actually take a shower with something more than water.

She walks into the dining room and sees the table and chairs Shaw ordered.  Root loves them.  Shaw actually has excellent taste.  The stone and iron compliment the wood floors.  Root sinks into one of the chairs finding it much more comfortable than it looked. 

They need food but she’s too tired to go out again.  She uses her new phone to search for places near them that deliver.  There’s a Thai place down the street that sounds good.  She places their order and it occurs to her she doesn’t know if there’s a doorbell or what.  It’s not like they’re going to hear someone knocking.

When she opens the door, its pitch black outside.  She looks at the wall nearest and sees light switches.  One of them turns on a light over the door and Root’s a little blinded by the sudden brightness.  She hears a metallic noise like a zipper, but there’s no movement and she doesn’t see anyone.  She shrugs and finds the doorbell.

The food arrives and Shaw follows soon after.  It’s like she has a sixth sense for food.  They eat at the dining room table and when they’re done its clear they’re exhausted.  Root’s still recovering from the gunshot wound and Shaw just wants to not see anyone for a while.  Like a week.

They trudge upstairs and shower together but it’s perfunctory, neither of them having the energy for much more.  The moonlight throws shadows on the floor and the sounds they make as they settle in echo in the unfurnished room.  They don’t even bother with clothes.  Shaw cuddles into Root, her hand resting on Root’s flank. 

Root thought she’d fall right asleep, but her brain won’t shut up.  She knows Shaw’s awake by her breathing.  “Sam?”  Shaw grunts in response.  “Where’s John?”  Shaw sighs, but now is as good a time as any to fill Root in, although she wonders why the Machine didn’t tell her.

“He’s also at Bellevue.  He’s in a coma.”  Root doesn’t say anything right away, so Shaw continues.  “I found him bleeding out.  I just called 911, there was no time to fuck around with stealing ambulances.  They saved him but he hasn’t woken up yet.”  Root doesn’t know what to say to that so she just squeezes Shaw’s hand softly.

“Root, you haven’t told me what you want to do.  You asked what I wanted, but what do you want?”  Root’s been thinking about that since Shaw found her.  “Have you thought about my vacation idea?”  Shaw has thought about it.  She’s never had a real vacation not in some way connected to her job.  “Yeah, let’s do it.” 

A few minutes later Root hears Shaw’s breathing even out and she lets it lull her to sleep.

She wakes up slowly, not sure what woke her up.  She feels something brush against her thigh.  She looks down and her nipples are hard and Shaw’s ever so gently licking her.  She’s looking up at Root, her eyes blown wide with desire and Root thinks she wants to wake up like this every morning. 

Shaw’s eyes wander up past Root’s navel to her hard nipples.  She meets Root’s gaze and a low moan escapes Root’s mouth.  “Sam…”  Shaw enters her with two fingers and she thanks heaven Shaw’s not teasing.  She grips Root’s waist just under her ribs and her fingers work Root’s g-spot while her mouth returns to Root’s clit.  Root grabs her hair tightly and pulls Shaw’s mouth closer.

“Don’t stop…!”  Shaw’s lost in Root, loving her cries as Shaw enters her over and over.  She flattens her tongue and licks from where her fingers are entering Root up to her clit.  Root’s orgasm hits her all at once and she comes undone, moaning loudly. 

Before Root’s come all the way down, Shaw replaces her fingers with her tongue.  Root thinks she can’t come again so soon, but Shaw’s tongue is soooo soft as it glides in and out of her and it just feels so damn good.  This time Root feels her orgasm building from far away and it swamps her gently like waves on the shore.

Root pulls Shaw up and tastes herself on Shaw’s tongue until she can’t breathe.  “Sameen…”  But she stops herself and instead kisses Shaw’s neck, nibbling and licking.  Shaw laughs and pulls away a little.  “That tickles.”   

Root’s looking at her with that raw look that always makes Shaw squirm and pull away.  But this time she stays and holds her gaze.  “You can say it you know.  If you want to.”  Now she does look down.  “Not all the time, but yeah, you can say it.”

Root feels like her heart will burst out of her chest.  Shaw’s given her so much even when she thought she had nothing to give.  And it’s these moments, when Shaw is so clearly uncomfortable and unsure, that mean the most.  It’s written on her face clearly.   She wants to give Root everything she has, even when she doesn’t understand.

But before she says anything a yawn comes unbidden and Shaw snorts.  “Lightweight.”  Root looks indignant.  “I am recovering from a gunshot wound remember.  And post orgasm naps are the best.”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “Yeah, yeah, you owe me one.  Now go back to sleep.”  They drift off together Shaw cuddled into what’s become her spot on Root’s body and feels content.

 

 


	29. The Perfect Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Root laughs, the sound bubbling from deep in her throat. “I take it you want to collect now?” By way of answer, Shaw flips over dragging Root on top of her. “No time like the present.” She grins in that disarming way she uses to get whatever she wants.

The next time Root wakes up, sun is streaming through the windows.  Shaw’s half draped over her body and Root snuggles into her neck still half-asleep.  It’s so quiet, the only sound their soft breathing.  Root thinks she finally got the morning she wanted, waking up tangled with Shaw.  They have so much catching up to do.

Shaw was only back a week when Root was taken and it’s only been three days since she’s been back.  Everything’s happened so fast, Root has emotional whiplash.  She feels like the world has to stop so she can get off.  She’s out of whack.

She’s worried if she’s feeling like this, Shaw must be reeling.  She doesn’t want to wait until there’s some blowout because they’re both so wound up.  Shaw stirs and flings her leg over Root, effectively trapping her, which would be fine except Root has to pee like now.

She slides out from under Shaw, who mumbles grumpily, like a little kid.  “Rooooot.  Come back, I’m getting cold.”  Root smiles.  “I’ll be right back sweetie.”  Root walks into the master bathroom and realizes it’s huge.  It’s all tastefully done with wood and zinc, complementing the old world style.

But Root hears Shaw calling her, so she finishes and slips back into bed.  Shaw immediately crawls onto her, snuggling her head into Root’s neck to avoid the sun.  The windows are floor to ceiling and the room is bathed in light.

Root’s enjoying Shaw’s rare cuddling and runs her hands soothingly up and down her back.  Shaw says something, but it’s muffled by the pillow.  “What sweetie?”  She pokes her head up like a gopher, “I said, you owe me one.”

Root laughs, the sound bubbling from deep in her throat.  “I take it you want to collect now?”  By way of answer, Shaw flips over dragging Root on top of her.  “No time like the present.”  She grins in that disarming way she uses to get whatever she wants. 

Root nibbles on her ear, licking the rim with just the tip of her tongue.  Shaw shivers and pulls Root closer, closing her eyes.  Root bites on her pulse point hard, using her tongue to soothe the bite.  Shaw moans and throws her arms back, inviting Root to explore. 

Root loves the sounds she’s drawing out of Shaw and she wants to see how many more she can coax from her lover.

She scoots down to settle between Shaw’s legs and takes a moment to drink in her body.  Shaw had scars from her time with the ISA and acquired more working for the Machine.  But her time with Samaritan left her body riddled with new ones.  Some so faint they’re barely visible, but others evidence the violence that was rained down on her for nine months.

Root inhales sharply.  She wishes she could kill them all over again.  Lambert, Martine, Greer.  Only this time she’d do it slowly and painfully until they prayed for death.  Nine years should about do it.   Shaw reaches down and takes Root’s hand placing it over her heart.  She whispers.  “It’s okay Root.  I’m here.”

Root shudders and refocuses on Shaw.  She grazes her fingers along the side of Shaw’s breasts, her finger pads making total contact.  The sensation is soothing, so soft, so arousing all at the same time.  She brings her fingers back up to tug on Shaw’s nipples using her thumbs until they’re hard and Shaw shivers.  At the same time she rubs her cheek on Shaw’s abs like a cat.  She can’t get enough of the feel of Shaw’s skin.

She nips and licks from Shaw’s abs up to her breasts, taking her time, tasting every inch.  She feels Shaw tremble underneath her and she purrs.  She mouths her way back down to the apex of Shaw’s thighs.  She bites and sucks on one thigh and then the other and Shaw starts to squirm.

Root can smell her arousal and it might as well be ambrosia because she wants to drown in it forever.  She runs her fingernails up Shaw’s calves hard and slow and Shaw arches into the pain.  “Root…”  She will never tire of hearing Shaw moan her name.  It never fails to make her heart clench.

She runs her tongue from the bottom of Shaw’s slit up to her clit circling her tongue with Shaw’s wetness.  She traces the path again and again until Shaw’s begging for release.  “Root…please…”  She wants to see Shaw’s eyes when she comes undone so she kisses her way up her body.  Shaw groans her complaint but Root immediately slips two fingers inside rubbing her g-spot almost imperceptibly.  She captures Shaw’s lips with her own, swallowing her moans.

“Sameen…look at me.”  Shaw opens her eyes and gazes at her through her eyelashes.  Her hands are still wrapped around the iron of the headboard.  Root strokes harder and deeper and Shaw’s inhales with every stroke, Root’s hot breath in her ear.  “I’ve never wanted anyone like this…it’s never enough…”  Shaw turns her head and sucks Root lip into her mouth, biting hard and then laving it with her tongue.

Root’s invasion comes harder, and faster, and deeper, and Shaw’s panting and arching.  She’s sweating and strands of hair stick to her forehead and she can’t keep her eyes open because it feels so fucking good and only Root has ever made her feel this way, so present…so consumed. 

Root bites and sucks on her earlobe without missing a beat.  She shifts so her clit is riding Shaw’s thigh and Shaw hisses at the heat and the liquid she feels pooling on her skin.  Root runs her fingers through Shaw’s hair while she thrusts and slides and its all soooo much.

“Sameen, open your eyes baby…”  Shaw does and Root grazes her clit with a nail and Shaw’s coming and struggling to keep her eyes on Root while she’s coming undone.  Root’s telling her something and giving her something and Shaw never wants it to end…  Her orgasm rips through her and Root’s all-consuming and whispering in her ear…

“Sameen…it’s only ever been you…”  And Shaw sees herself reflected in Root’s eyes and she knows…knows…that Root fills all the spaces inside and melds all the bits and pieces and Shaw’s never felt so good…so understood… 

She hits that pinnacle and Root’s there like she’s always been there and she closes her eyes and Root catches her and Shaw lets go and clenches her fingers in Root’s hair and pulls her close and devours her mouth and steels her breath until she’s floating…floating and Root gentles her and soothes her and Shaw’s never felt anything so real.

They’re panting and Root pulls out slowly and drops onto Shaw and Shaw lets go of the headboard and grasps Root face in her hands and sucks on her lip, drawing it into her mouth.  She lets her teeth grip softly as she pulls away and she’s dizzy and it scares the shit out of her.  But Root’s there and everything’s all right.

They recover their breaths and Root’s propping herself up on her elbow, still staring into Shaw like she sees everything and its all she’s ever wanted and needed.  “Sameen…”  But she looks away and doesn’t say anything else. 

Shaw tilts her face with her finger so Root’s looking at her again.  “Tell me.”  Root inhales searching Shaw’s eyes for something…acceptance maybe… and Shaw tries to tell her she has it the only way she knows how. 

She leans in and runs her tongue over Root’s upper lip and dips slowly into her mouth, caressing and claiming and promising.  “Tell me Root.”  Root looks into her eyes and thinks maybe Shaw gets it, that it’s something Root needs and she doesn’t expect or need Shaw to need it too.  “I love you Sameen.” 

Something in Shaw clicks and she knows she can tell Root something she knows, something she believes to be true… “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Root.”


	30. Sexy Truth Or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What else are we supposed to do with 15 rooms? Start a B&B?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading!
> 
> I've decided to end part III of the series with this chapter. I will immediately begin Part IV, which will chronicle Root & Shaw's life after Samaritan.
> 
> I'm open to any suggestions on plot lines. I've already started on a few but feel free to reach out with any requests!
> 
> Thanks again!

They fall asleep again, and when they wake Shaw guesses it’s around noon based on the angle of the shadows cast by the rays of sun streaming through the windows.  “Root…”  Root’s so comfy and doesn’t really want to move.  “Hmmm?” 

“I’m hungry.”  Root opens one eye and looks up to see Shaw biting her lip.  She’s not sure if it’s impatience or desire, but either way it’s adorable.  “Well, I guess we should shower and go out then because we have no food in the house.” 

Shaw scrunches her face and sighs.  She picks up her phone from the floor and starts texting.  Root looks puzzled and raises her eyebrows in question.  “I’m having the Machine deliver groceries.  She knows what we like, might as well put it to use.” 

Root nods her head yes and rolls over.  Shaw finishes and drops the phone on the bed.  “Want to shower with me?”  Root decides she needs a little space.  “I think I’m going to nap a little more.”  Shaw nods once and heads for the bathroom.  She’s dying to play with the new shower.

Root needs to figure out what she feels about Shaw’s connection to the Machine.  She needs to talk to her about it because every time Shaw talks to Her, it makes Root feel annoyed.  With the implant the Machine was always talking to her, filling her in on the people walking by or what the team was up to.  She was a constant companion. 

Now she feels the silence acutely and it feels kind of lonely.  But now Samaritan’s gone, the constant contact isn’t really necessary and the Machine can contact them through their phones easily.  Although she never said so in so many words Root knows Shaw always felt the Machine was between them.  It’s probably time for Root to adjust to the new paradigm.

Shaw comes out of the shower wrapped in a towel and finds Root still on the bed staring at the ceiling.  “Are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?”  Root’s startled out of her thoughts.  “What do you mean?”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  “You never pass up an offer to shower with me, ever.  So what gives?”

Root takes a deep breath and sits up.  She doesn’t really have a handle on her own feelings, but when Shaw makes an effort to reach out, Root tries to not shut her down.  It’s hard enough for Shaw to start a serious conversation. 

“I’m not used to the silence without the Machine in my ear.”  Shaw sits on the bed, knowing there’s more.  “It’s weird to not be the one talking to Her.”

“Are you saying you want another implant?”  Root doesn’t answer right away.  “No…I don’t.”  Shaw searches her face.  “Are you sure?”  Root nods yes.  “Why don’t you take over as Admin then?  I hate it.”  Root’s hadn’t thought of that.  Shaw doesn’t wait for an answer.

She texts the Machine and makes Root the admin with her and John as primary assets.  When John wakes up they’ll figure out what he wants to do.  She looks up and Root’s grinning.  “You’re the best Sam.”

Shaw rolls her eyes, but before she says anything they hear the doorbell ringing.  “Can you get that so I can hop in the shower?”  Shaw’s already walking out.  She takes the stairs and opens the door without looking.  But instead of the grocery delivery, it’s Mandy with a package in her hands.

“Hi Shaw!  I just wanted to bring you a house warming…present.”  While she talks her eyes take in Shaw’s towel clad form.  Shaw’s been hit on plenty and she recognizes the look on Mandy’s face easily.  She rolls her eyes.  “Uh, thanks.”  Mandy hands her the package. 

Shaw takes it and looks at her expectantly.  Mandy swallows hard and tears her eyes away from Shaw’s body.  “Uh…maybe we can grab coffee sometime.”  Shaw thinks about how she should handle this situation.  Root’s always telling her she should learn to be more civil to people.  So instead of closing the door in her face, Shaw waits for Mandy to look at her.  “No.”

Before Mandy can say anything, the grocery delivery arrives.  Shaw tells the guy to leave the stuff on the stoop.  Mandy looks back at her, but Shaw doesn’t give her the chance to speak.  “Okay bye.”  And then she does close the door.

Shaw goes upstairs to get dressed so she can bring the bags in.  Root’s just coming out of the bathroom.  “Sam, you answered the door in a towel?”  Shaw scowls.  “I have no idea where my clothes are and I figured I’d just tell the guy to leave them outside.  I wasn’t expecting guests.”

“Your clothes are in the walk-in on a shelf.  Guests?”  Shaw walks into the closet and her words are muffled.  Root follows her so she can also get dressed.  “What’d you say?”  Shaw’s distracted from answering when Root drops her towel.  She automatically reaches out and wraps her arm around Root’s waist pulling her until their bodies are pressed together.

Root’s lips are warm and minty.  She’d obviously brushed her teeth.  Shaw clasps her hands at the nape of her neck, pulling her down slightly and covering her mouth in a hungry kiss.  Root grabs Shaw’s ass and pulls them even closer, devouring her mouth until neither of them can breathe and they tear apart panting.

Root looks at Shaw suggestively.  “I want you on top of the island.”  Her tone is commanding and one Shaw finds usually leads to some really excellent orgasms.  She backs up and uses her hands to lift up and sit on the edge.  Root stands between her legs.

She doesn’t give Shaw time to settle and immediately latches on to a nipple with her teeth, her hands resting next to Shaw’s.  Shaw inhales sharply at the unexpected assault and leans into the pain.  It’s over as soon as it started as Root moves to the other one. 

She grips Shaw’s hipbones, digging her fingers in hard enough to bruise.  Shaw throws her head back and Root shifts to her neck, sucking hard and soothing with her tongue.  Shaw’s swamped with sensations and her clits throbbing and desire coils in her belly.

Without warning Root thrusts into her with two fingers easily.  Shaw’s wet and hot and open.  There’s no teasing and she slips another finger in while her thumb pushes rhythmically against her clit.  “Fuck Root…more…”

Root thrusts harder and deeper and faster and Shaw’s moaning… “fuck, that’s so good, right there”  Root scrapes her teeth down Shaw’s neck and sucks so hard on her pulse point it’s going to leave a bruise.  But Root doesn’t care and Shaw’s certainly not protesting. 

Shaw comes hard, but Root doesn’t let up.  “Come again for me Sameen.”  Shaw falls back on the island and thrusts up into her hand and the second orgasm comes right on the heels of the first and her brain explodes and its all Root and only Root who gets her who sees her clearly and doesn’t run and sinks inside.

It seems to go on and on and Root gentles her through it and slips out gently.  Shaw’s legs are week and Root places kisses all over her abdomen and up to her collarbone while Shaw recovers.  Shaw finally sits up resting her head on Root’s chest.  She’s still heaving and Root rubs her back soothingly and kisses her shoulder.

Shaw can finally feel her legs and hops down from the island gingerly.  Root turns around and leans against the island.  “On your knees Sameen.”  Shaw’s on her knees before the thought fully forms in her brain. 

She immediately latches on to Root’s clit and sucks.  Root intertwines her hand in Shaw’s hair and pulls her closer, using the other to brace herself against the island.  Shaw places a kiss right above her clit and Root moans.  Her clit is so swollen and Shaw laps at it slowly drawing shapes with her lips chasing Root’s flavor. 

But Root is too desperate for slow.  “Sameen…”  Shaw hears the command in her voice and speeds up, thrusting two fingers inside as she flattens her tongue and rubs it in circles over her clit.  Root comes hard with Shaw’s name on her lips and weakly pulls at Shaw until she lets go with a wide grin.

Root slides down the island until she’s sitting on the floor trying to catch her breath.  Shaw’s still on her knees with a smug smile on her face.  But really it was excellent so Root can’t begrudge her the smile.

When she’s finally recovered she looks at Shaw.  “What were you saying about guests?”  Shaw looks puzzled but then remembers.  “Oh, Mandy came by with a house warming present.”  Root remembers how Shaw was dressed, or not dressed, when she answered the door.  “So you answered the door wrapped in a towel and it was Mandy?”

“Yeah.  I didn’t open whatever it is, it’s downstairs.”  Shaw doesn’t mention the come hither look on Mandy’s face and Root swallows the sarcastic remark that comes unbidden to her lips.  She kisses Shaw thoroughly and then gets up to get dressed.

Shaw remembers the groceries.  “We have to bring in the groceries they’re still on the stoop.”  Root finishes dressing, or at least as dressed as you can be in pjs, and they go downstairs to bring them in.  Shaw volunteers to make them a really late lunch or extremely early dinner while Root puts the stuff away.

Shaw just ordered the basics so she makes them omelets and toast and they eat in the kitchen at the counter.  Root washes up and Shaw wanders to the living room to test out their new TV.  As Root’s leaving the kitchen she spots the package.  She brings it into the living room.

Shaw hates commercials, so she’s scrolling through their Netflix cue when Root walks in and drops onto her.  “Oomph… That hurt Root!”  Shaw pushes her off of her and onto the floor.  Root’s laughing and cooing at the same time.  “I thought you were tough....”

Shaw glares at her and goes back to picking something to watch.  Root decides to open the gift left by Mandy.  The package is cylindrical and Root’s curious.  When she pulls off the paper she huffs in annoyance.  Shaw doesn’t look over but asks her “What?” 

“Mandy’s gift.”  Shaw looks over then and spots the box.  “Sexy Truth or Dare?”  She looks up to see the storm brewing in Root’s eyes.  “There’s a card too.  ‘Shaw, love to play sometime.  Call me.’  Am I missing something Sam?”

“Don’t blame me.  I was barely civil to her.  I can’t help it if I’m so hot women throw themselves at me.”  Root gives her an evil look.  “There’s no reason for her to come over anymore anyway, just forget it.  Besides, sounds like fun…”  She leers at Root and she can’t help but grin.

They settle on Liz in September, some lesbian movie Root put in their queue because she loves all lesbian movies.  They sit shoulder to shoulder on the couch and Root plays absentmindedly with Shaw’s hair, but it feels good so Shaw doesn’t stop her.  She’s gotten used to Root’s touchy feely behavior and it doesn’t bother her usually. 

The movie’s a little dramatic for Shaw’s tastes, especially given what they’ve been through.  “I get to pick the next two movies Root.  That was awful.”  Root kind of agrees, but still puts up token resistance.  “Why the next two?” 

“Because I feel like that movie lasted two lifetimes!”  Shaw complains.  Root gives in good naturedly and prepares for gratuitous violence the next time they watch a movie.  Shaw’s phone rings and the caller ID flashes Bellevue Hospital.  “Yeah?”  Shaw listens carefully.  “Okay, thanks.”

She puts the phone done thoughtfully.  “John’s awake.”  They don’t waste any time getting dressed and take a cab to the hospital.  They get a little hassle at the nursing station, but Shaw growls and the nurses rightfully decide to take her word that she’s John’s next of kin.

John’s in a private hospital room.   Shaw had the Machine arrange it.  He looks pale and thin and he’s still hooked up to an IV and heart monitor.  There’s a small cup with a straw sticking out on the table next to him and the distant smell of hospital disinfectant.

Shaw looks at him and it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable and unsure what to say.  “It’s about time you woke up.”  A tiny smirk appears at the corner of his mouth.  “Miss me?”  Shaw rolls her eyes.  He looks at Root.  “I see the rumors of your death were greatly exaggerated.”  Root smiles at him openly.  “Long story.”

“I’ll bet.”  He starts to sit up but he’s very weak so Root raises the head of the bed and helps him scoot up.  “So, what’d I miss?”  Shaw doesn’t know where to start but she knows John's first concern will be Harold.  “Finch is fine.  He’s in Paris with Grace.”  John gives a small nod.  “Fusco’s back at work.”    

Shaw doesn’t have anything else to say, so she turns to Root with a look on her face like “say something.”  John waits patiently.  “Harold’s plan worked.  Samaritan’s gone and the Machine managed to survive.  Bear’s with us.”

“I guess I was right.  Only the paranoid survive.”  Shaw’s starting to fidget and it seems their short conversation has exhausted John.  “Unless you want to stay here, you should stay with us John.  We’ll figure everything else out when you’re feeling better.”  Root rarely uses Reese’s name so he knows she’s serious.

He debates briefly.  He could go back to his own apartment, but he knows he’s not well enough for that yet.  “Well I was looking forward to the hospital food, but I guess you’ve twisted my arm.”  Now having something to do, Shaw springs into action.

Once she’s gone, John looks at Root.  “How is she?”  Root looks at him thoughtfully.  “We’re figuring it out.”  He gives a short nod.  “She needs you.  Take care of her.”  Before Root can answer Shaw comes back in with a frown on her face and a hospital administrator behind her.

“Mr. Reese, it’s really too early for your discharge, you just woke up today.”  The administrator is looking at him expectantly.  It's clear she’s not used to having patients disagree with her.  “I’ve been here long enough, wouldn’t want to wear out my welcome.”

“Okay now you heard it from him.  We’ll pick him up tomorrow.”  With that Shaw pulls Root out by the arm and speed walks to the elevator.  “I hate hospitals,” Shaw huffs.

“Sam is this okay with you?  I know I offered without asking you first, it just kind of came out.”  Shaw looks at her like she’s crazy.  “What else are we supposed to do with 15 rooms?  Start a B&B?"


End file.
